Even though I’ve been expecting it…

My company dropped the big bombshell on everybody today. At 11:00am this morning, everyone in the office was gathered up for a meeting, where the big wigs from the main office announced that our office in Ithaca would be closing before the end of the year. I was one of the 50% of the office’s staff that was not offered an opportunity to relocate to one of the offices that will remain open. That means that as of July 1, I will need an alternate source of employment. I wasn’t really planning on moving anyway, but the fact that it’s not an option came as a bit of a shock.

To be honest, I’m not totally surprised by this. I’ve suspected since ADIC bought out Pathlight that they would eventually decide to close the Ithaca office, forcing all of us to either relocate or find other jobs. I’ve expected it at every “office-wide” meeting we’ve had in the past four years. But for some reason, expecting it didn’t really prepare me for it. I’m still finding mysef shocked. I’m still feeling a bit overwhelmed by it. Granted, I’m not the emotional wreck some of the others were (it helps that I didn’t just buy a new house like some of them), but I’m still in a bit of a state of emotional disarray.

I suppose in the great scheme of things, I can just take this in stride. After all, for the past year, I’ve been thinking about getting a different job, one that’s closer to Mike so that I can eventually move there too. This incident just provides me with a strong motivation to do more than just think about it, I suppose. And I can be thankful that if I want it, I still have a guaranteed job until July 1. That’s almost a full six months where I can look for a job without having to worry about how to pay bills in the meantime.

Part of me wants to run right out to the job sites. Part of me wants to fire up Word and start my resume right now (I don’t think I have an old copy of it anymore). And I’m proud of that part of me. I’m glad that I have that “never say die” spirit somewhere in me and that I’m willing to keep going. But on the same hand, I don’t think I’m going to do it quite yet. Taking the bull by the horns is good, but reacting is bad. And I think that if I started these things now, I’d be doing it reactively. And that could lead to mistakes. For now, I think I’m going to instead make a decision to give myself time — at least until the end of the week — and let the emotional impact and reactions of the announcement to work their way through my system. Then I can channel my desire to act more wisely.

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