January 2006 Archives

Grumpy Single Guy Woes

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Today is January 25. It's Mike's 30th birthday. I have to admit that some petty portion of me would love to write him an email or text message saying something to the effect of, "Congratulations, you are now thirty and single, and it's all because of your own bad choices." I'm not proud of wanting to be so snotty and petty, but I don't want to deny it either.

To be honest, I have to admit that a small part of me had kind of hoped that he would come to his senses as today rushed in. I had hoped that the sense of getting older would make him realize everything that is slipping (or has slipped) through his fingers, and make a miraculous turnaround. I guess that's why I haven't pushed to find someone else. I knew I was still feeling like this. And even though I intellectually know that irrational part of my heart is holding out for something that will probably never happen, I also know that I wouldn't have been able to give a try at happiness with someone else a fair shot while holding on to that hope. So how does one give up hope.

I have to admit that there were a couple of cute guys at last night's meetup. I'm pretty sure they were both gay, and they seemed great. Too bad they also seemed to be involved with each other. Figures that the truly cute ones are already together. Oh well, they were probably a bit too young for me anyways. If I was to venture a guess, I'd say they were RIT students. Me with a college guy...as fun as it sounds, I just don't tthink it would work.

But on the bright side, it's a step in the right direction. I'm getting out and meeting people. And I've seen that I really can meet someone. Who cares if they were already taken? Maybe the next one won't be. Only time will tell. And at least I'm meeting people and expanding my possibilities.

But damn, I'm still grumpy.

New Blog

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In case anyone's interested, I have started yet another new blog. Before everyone groans and call me crazy, let me explain that this is a specialty blog. To be specific, it's the site where I'm going to start posting all of my "Dear Lover" letters. For those who don't know what letters I'm talking about...well, read the blog!

I suppose as the month of January is almost half over, it would prudent of me to post a first blog entry for January 2006. I know it's been over a month since I posted anything, for which I apologize. December was a difficult month for me on a personal level. Part of that was due to craziness at work. Another part was due to the fact that it was my first Christmas alone after ending a long term relationship with a man I truly loved.

Another part was that my main focus in the past few entries, a series of entries reviewing Catherine Sanders' book titled Wicca's Charm: Understanding the Spiritual Hunger Behind the Rise of Modern Witchcraft and Pagan Spirituality, has hit a bit of a roadblock. I won't get into too many details at this point, as I would rather cover them in future entries in that series (assuming I ever "pick up the trail" again). However, suffice it to say that I'm struggling with Sanders's incomplete research and tendency to focus almost entirely on the most superficial aspects of the Pagan movement. (Also, her chapter covering the "history of Wicca" is full of the same misconceptions, straw men, and other flaws as most treatments of the subject, and that's something I'm getting tired of even trying to address.) So I've decided to put that process on hold.

However, I recently obtained another book which I'd like to cover in my blog. This one is by Robin Wood, a artist that is fairly well known in the Sci-Fi communities and probably most famous in the Pagan and Occult community for her tarot deck. (It's certainly one of my favorite decks.) However, the book I've just finished reading is her less known introduction to "Wiccan" ethics, When, Why ... If. It's a relatively small book, being about 175 pages long without the appendix, glossary, and recommended reading list, so it makes a relatively quick read. Of course, you could spend a good bit of time thinking about what she has written, and Ms. Wood includes a number of "exercises" at the end of each chapter to encourage exactly that.

I will start out to say that this is by no means an exhaustive and complete discussion of ethics, Wiccan or otherwise. But then, that's not what the author set out to do. She makes it quite clear in the introduction that her intent was to write a book to start the Seeker out on thinking about what it means to live an ethical life, and I think she more or less achieves that goal. I particularly like the fact that the first topic she covers in the book is the topic of honesty. Ms. Wood posits that it's only when we learn to be honest with ourselves that we can truly begin to live ethically. If we continue to make excuses for our behavior, rationalize a poor decision, or even beat ourselves up for a poor decision rather than doing what we can to rectify things and learn from our mistakes, then we will continue to be lost.

The rest of the chapters cover such topics as love, helping others, harming others (or more accurately, avoiding harming others), sex, and the difference between wanting and willing. Each of these topics are covered quite well (though I still get the impression that like many "eclectic Wiccans," Ms. Wood falls prey to forgetting that the Wiccan Rede has six other words besides "harm none" and that those words and their arrangement bear consideration). There was very little I could disagree with.

My issue with the book falls more to the fact of what was missing. Personally, I think that any book on Wiccan ethics should include solid discussion on beauty, strength, power, compassion, honor, humility, mirth, and reverance. After all, these are the very values that the Goddess of Wicca herself calls for after telling her adherents that all acts of love and pleasure are her rituals. The author covers a good number of these virtues implicitly in her book, but it seems to me that a more explicit and substantial exploration would be in order. One can only hope that Ms. Wood or another author will consider doing so in a follow-up book.

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This page is an archive of entries from January 2006 listed from newest to oldest.

December 2005 is the previous archive.

February 2006 is the next archive.

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