June 2007 Archives

Char decided to have a sidewalk sale¹ outside of Psychic's Thyme today. I ended up spending the first half of my time there sitting outside and helping keep an eye on the merchandise. I would've helped with customers, but all but two or three of them ended up paying inside the store because they wanted to see what was for sale there, too. It was a fun time, however. And I got lots of sun and fresh air.

I also realized something about myself. I like being outdoors. I like the idea of getting a tan. This is totally bizarre, because it's something I completely disliked while growing up. My sister would often go outdoors in the afternoon during summer vacation and spend a couple of hours lying in the old lounge chair my parents owned. I thought she was nuts and found the idea of just lying out in the sun insane.

Of course, it was probably the act of lying around that struck me as inside as the fact that such immobility was being enacted out doors. I was a rather hyper kid, even through my teenage years. Unless I was reading (and even that required frequent breaks unless it was a book I absolutely loved) or on the computer, I had to be on the move. No grass could grow under my feet and no moss would ever get the chance to grow on me.

Yet, as I get older I'm finding myself more inclined to be less active. This is especially true if I'm doing it someplace where I get sunlight and fresh air. So I suspect I'll be looking at my weekly schedule to figure out when and where I can pencil in some more outdoor tanning time. And I figure it'll be napping time, too. But that's okay.

¹ No actual sidewalks were sold at this sale. Isn't that strange? I mean, you sell books at a book sale, right?

Since I first began to check out Misty Irons this weekend, I've spent a certain amount of time looking over her site and blog. I find her search for truth refreshing and inspiring. Also, I admire her honest desire to create and facilitate dialogue. So when I ran across her three part series on how queers and conservative Christians "talk past each other, I was more than a little fascinated. For this entry, I'm going to focus on the contents of Part 1, where she talks about her initial difficulty in understanding gay pride.

In all reality, both my personal experiences and my observations have led me to conclude that gay pride is a difficult concept for most queers to understand when they're first coming to terms with their sexual orientation. I remember the first year or two of my own journey where the whole idea made no sense. I remember telling my friends, "I may be able to accept that I'm gay, but I see no point in being proud about it." I also argued that it made no more sense to be proud of being gay than it did to be proud that I had blue eyes.

Just as Misty had to get a clearer picture of the coming out process and the difficulty and self-hatred that is usually involved in the early stages of the coming out process to understand the subsequent pride, I had to go through that process before I could truly appreciate and even experience that pride for myself. And I've noticed the same lack of understanding in the handful of other gay people (mostly men) I've known while they're going through that stage of their life again. So it only makes sense that non-queers would only be able to understand the idea of gay pride only after becoming familiar with the processing leading up to it.

This is where Misty notes that not everyone who is gay talks about this early period of self-hatred. In fact, she goes so far as to suggest that its discussion is practically forbidden in the gay community:

It was a strange thing, then, for me to learn that when someone who is gay makes such an honest admission, they are practically shouted down by fellow gays for “self-hatred.” The very admission that helped to open up my mind and heart, just enough to encourage me to keep on digging, is considered a heresy in the gay community.

Again, based on my own experiences and observations, I am inclined to agree with her assessment. And like her, I find this state of affairs troubling -- both for the reasons she mentioned and my own. To that extent, I think it's important to consider what motivates this push for silence.

First, I think that we must face the simple truth that we as humans prefer to avoid that which causes us pain -- or even makes us uncomfortable -- whenever possible. The early stages in the journey to self-acceptance are often extremely painful. Even among those who were raised in "gay-friendly" family environments, there's often still a certain amount of discomfort in the coming out process. For those of us who were raised in environments that took a much more negative outlook on homosexuality, the process can be downright hellish. I don't think it's any that wonder we might be a little hesitant to drudge that back up or put it on display for others.

Of course, this explains why an individual might not want to expose their own past pains. It does not explain why an individual would actively discourage another person from doing so. It does not explain why we are so quick to silence those going through the process and haven't fully escaped that self-loathing or sense of resignation to move into actual self-acceptance and self-affirmation.

My personal theory on that one is that we silence them because seeing their pain reminds us of our own. Allowing those who are still on the journey to speak too strongly of these things reminds us of that past we'd like to move beyond and forget about. Unfortunately, attempting to silence them robs us of something the experience offers us: an opportunity for deeper, more complete healing of our own pains.

I also believe that in some ways, it's a well-intentioned attempt at protecting the person who is hasn't reached the point of self-acceptance. To put as fine a point as possible on it, admitting that one wishes one wasn't gay is a pretty good invitation to the proponents of ex-gay therapy to offer you their alternative. That's an alternative that many of us have tried and failed at, sometimes at great personal cost. So the thought of seeing someone else open themselves up to going down that road themselves can cause some pretty strong reactions. And it is not surprising, however unfortunate it may be, that sometimes, the reaction results in strongly discouraging someone from making such statements.

Ultimately, I think this kind of reaction is more harmful than good. Not only does it prevent would-be supporters from fully understanding us, but it also has negative effects on us. Not being able to be open about our experiences and feelings only inhibits us from finding healing and wholeness. Hopefully, this truth is something that we as individuals and a community will come to understand and seek to change the way we handle these issues in the future.

Jason Pitzl-Waters made his readers aware the Maine Christian Civics League's attempts to shame Kennebec County Democrat Chair Rita Moran for being Pagan. Indeed they seem to be quite outraged by the idea that a Pagan hold's such a position, and go through a great deal of effort to make it sound like a horrific thing.

Of course, from my perspective, I don't see how anyone can find it all that horrific. Indeed, my reading of the CCL's diatribe struck me as an attempt to make something out of nothing. They even go so far as to try to make it sound like Ms. Moran has something to hide by referring to her involvement in "underground" pagan worship circles. Indeed, one wonders at the use of the word "underground" to describe Immanent Grove, which is well advertised.

Stranger still is the fact that they report that Moran supports the "Pagan Preserves Project," a fundraising program designed to finance a long-term goal of purchasing property in Maine for Pagan religious use. Why this is more scary than Christians raising money for a new church building escapes me.

The CCL goes on to reveal their most disturbing bit of news about Moran, and that's "the involvement of Moran's Apple Valley Books store in promoting her pagan-worshipping beliefs to Maine's children." This kicker is no doubt intended to conjure images of Moran handing out copies of Satanic literature to impressionable young minds directly. However, CCL's own clarification ruins that image. Instead we are dealing with a bookstore that is listed on the Pagans'n'Parenting website. The CCL describes this website as "a pagan resource for parents to involve their children in pagan worship." So instead of an unethical figure who targets children behind their parents' backs, the CCL is criticizing a woman who simply offers resources to parents already interested in teaching their children about Paganism. I find it hard to imagine how any rational person -- even one who disagrees with Pagan theology -- can find that particularly alarming, let alone sinister.

Originally, I intended to limit this posting to a mockery of the CCL's "alarming" revelation. To be honest, I still find it entirely laughable and the sign of truly paranoid people who will try to create alarm out of nothing. Unfortunately, an update to Jason's original post includes and email from Ms. Moran that has given me pause to reconsider. It would appear that as laughable as I find the CCL's post, it has become a source of actual concern to Ms. Moran and those who would support her. According to her, even worse and potentially more damaging rumors have begun to circulate about her as a result of this "revelation."

What I find particular sad are the allegations that the organizers of the Maine CCL have been "investigating" some people who have left comments on their site in support of Ms. Moran in order to post additional information about them. If this is true, the only conceivable reason to do so is to encourage their supporters to harass these people in addition to Ms. Moran herself. Quite frankly, this strikes me as entirely unethical behavior, and certainly not behavior that those who are calling other people's character into question should be doing.

But in the end, one must wonder. Do those involved with the CCL truly have so little faith in their own religion and the victories it promises that they have to resort to such tactics? Is such behavior the best that the CCL has to offer the world? If so, then the CCL and those associated with it are truly empty and devoid of any real spiritual value.

In which case, one must wonder if their criticisms of Ms. Moran is anything more than simple projection.

UPDATE: My friend Lauren left a comment on the CCL site. They decimated the original post and added the links to her MySpace and StumbleUpon pages. They also included her email address in the comment text. (She provided the email address when filling out the comment form as it is required, but did not expect it to be published.)

The full text of Lauren's unedited comment (with the exception of the last part, which she had to retype from memory due to last minute editing) is as follows:

I'm sorry, what?

As a conservative Christian, I am offended at the picture you attempt to paint of this woman-- quite the fanfare for something hardly scandalous.

It is to my knowledge that her supposed "underground" pagan worship circles are actually well advertised.

It is hardly a crime to have a book store where proceeds go to something you support; that is the beauty of our country, and it is her business what she supports, especially when it is concerning what is done on PRIVATE land.

I applaud her for offering literature to Pagan parents. But that's not the real issue here; since when do Democrats actually allow parents to raise their own children in whichever way they would like? (I digress!!)

I understand what you are trying to do here, and I understand that you wish to allow Christians safe alternatives through education. I also understand you wish to foster Christian values in all areas of life. I understand because I am a firm believer in Christ and I wish to know what I am partaking in, where my money is going, and what I am supporting, in hopes of honouring God. However, it saddens me that this woman is shown as a monster for doing nothing illegal, and nothing but using her own earned money, private property, and supporting parents who have already chosen to raise their children in Pagan ways. These are things she is doing on her own private time.

I presume you know your organisation wields power. The potential for rumours and character destroying information being passed along is very high and that fact is frightening. Perhaps it would have been more effective to show awareness through her organisation or her bookstore rather than through her personal name, that is if I am right, and it is educating you seek to do.

[There is a passage in Galatians where Paul refers to freedom in Christ (chapter 5), which is the freedom to do what is good, what is right, and what is honourable. It is contrasted to the "old man"-- a slavery to sin and to the law (chapter 3). It strikes me as fruitless to fight against slavery when one can instead fight for freedom.]

In Christ,

Lauren

As you can see, they did a significant amount of editing.

I figured I'd get at least a PG-13 or even an R. But I never expected this!

Is this why I get so few comments? Are y'all in just a hurry to get away from my smut as fast as possible?

In just under a week, Beyond Ex-Gay will be sponsoring their first Ex-Gay Survivor Conference. I haven't been following the details of it until just recently. But the more I hear, the more excited I'm getting. So when I saw that they are inviting others to write and say what the conference means to them, I decided to speak up.

I do not consider myself an ex-gay. I never went to therapy. I never joined any of the various organizations or support groups that loosely make up the ex-gay movement. The closest I ever came to the ex-gay movement was to read a book written to help people "come out of homosexuality." Beyond that, I merely prayed for God to change my attractions and asked friends to do likewise.

However, I do think I understand the kind of self-loathing and sense of frustration that drives a person to undergo such therapy. After all, those were the same feelings that motivated my own solitary struggle. (Truth be told, I'm not entirely sure why I didn't try ex-gay therapy.) I can understand how the need to change can be so intense when you believe that your value as a person, moral integrity, and happiness all hinge on overcoming same-sex attractions. I can understand being willing to do almost anything to rescue yourself from that. And I know the kind of emotional and spiritual damage you can do to yourself while operating from that mindset.

That knowledge is the underlying motivation why I started working on my personal story months ago. I look at what I put myself through during that time of my life, and my heart aches to think that other people are facing those same struggles and choices today. And every fiber of my being cries out to help them find a better way the first time around and save themselves that kind of pain.

To me, I see the same desire motivating this conference and bXg in general. I see a group of people who wish to share their own experiences so that others might think twice about repeating them. I see a group of people who like me, are saying to those around them, "Let's find a better way together." And I find that comforting and encouraging.

As regular readers of my blog may know, I'm a huge fan of Seething Mom. So when she wrote a glowing review of the writings of Misty Sayoko Irons, I had to check it out for myself.

Particularly, I was curious to discover what caused Misty to start a site about homosexuality and the Bible. I suppose one might wonder why I'd look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth like that. After all, we queers can use all the pro-gay supporters we can find. However, I have to admit that I'm a naturally curious person when it comes to people's backstories. Understanding how one's past affect's one's present day choices is always someting that fascinates me. So I began looking for Ms. Irons's story. I had just about given up and was getting ready to find a polite and friendly way to email her an inquiry when I finally noticed what I was looking for two thirds of the way down the navigation bar on her site. So I clicked on the link and read about her experiences with two neighbors, Gregg and Joel.

Let me just say that it is well worth the search, as her experiences with these two men and the painful self-realizations that those experiences caused her were touching. Indeed, I'd encourage anyone who reads the story (and I highly encourage everyone to do so) to make sure they have some tissues on hand.

What truly touches me about Ms. Irons's story is the raw honesty of it. She unabashedly admits how little she knew about gay issues at the time, as well as how badly she misjudged the lives and personal choices of Gregg and Joel at the time. She doesn't even try to rationalize these things or makes excuses for them. Indeed, by the end of the tale, I felt as though she was entirely being too hard on herself.

However, more important, this story and the rest of the site also tells of the kind of woman the author really is. This is a woman who is not only willing to admit when she's been wrong, but she's willing to do something about it. This is a woman who not only acknowledges her preconceived notions, but actively makes an effort to correct them when necessary. And for that, I applaud her. And for that, I'm thankful that I can consider her a supporter.

Of course, I also find myself admitting that she makes an excellent role model as well as a supporter. After all, evangelical Christians and straight people aren't the only ones who have their preconceived notions. After all, I know more than one gay person (and I've been guilty of it myself) or supporter who has come to prejudge all evangelical Christians. When we meet one, we tend to expect certain reactions out of them and even mentally prepare ourselves for our own "stock responses" to them even before they actually happen. I even remember some of my evangelical friends from my past -- people I had known for years -- rightfully calling me on making assumptions about how they would treat me. And these weren't people who I just met. These are true friends, people I should've known better than to make such assumptions about.

Now certainly, I can make excuses for myself as well as the rest of us. Certainly, I can argue that we've had plenty of bad experiences with evangelical Christians. I can rationalize that because of this, it's perfectly natural for us to assume much the same treatment in similar situations. And there's a certain logic to that which is undeniable. But that doesn't make it any more right. So to Ms. Irons, I say thank you for setting the example. You made no excuses, and I will endeavor to follow in your footsteps.

Ms. Irons also has a blog, which I will be sure to add to both my blogroll and my news aggregator.

After doing recent memes I was reminded of a blog post I did back in 2004, listing 100 random facts about myself. I've decided it's time to generate another such list, because eight facts just wasn't enough. I will probably repeat items from the 2004 list (and the truly bored are invited to compare the two and see how much overlap there is), but I'm okay with that.

I finally created a YouTube account, so I thought I'd post a short video of my mother's kitten, Kisa. She's was about seven weeks old when I took this.

Last night, I attended the LGBT Community Forum that was held at the Downtown United Presbyterian Church. This event was organized by the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, AIDS Rochester, and several other organizations to give the community a chance to learn the full details about the June 1 gay bashing and subsequent police misconduct that occurred in Rochester, as well as to give members of the community a chance to speak up and share their own reactions to the incident and others like it.

After city council member Bill Pritchard spoke, Alexandra Cobus gave a brief history of the June 1 incident based on the investigation so far. Without giving a level of detail that might compromise the investigation, Ms. Cobus walked the community throught he events of the bashing. Rather than attempt to repeat that account exactly, I will merely offer some of the details that stood out to me. There were eight people in total attacked that night, with two separate incidents. The eight victims, all friends, were leaving the Avenue Pub between two and three that morning, heading in the direction of Park Avenue. They were travelling in two groups, with the second group lagging behind the first by approximately five minutes. The perpetrators attacked both groups with a metal pipe in turn while expressing anti-gay slurs.

An unidentified witness called the police at the time of the first attack, and a number of officers (witness accounts place the number between twelve and fifteen) arrived shortly after the second assault. When some of the victims approached the officers on the scene, they were told to go home. They requested to file a police report, only to be denied. In the process, three of the people who were attacked were arrested.

According to Ms. Cobus, there are currently two separate police investigations going on. The first is a criminal investigation against those who attacked both groups. The second investigation is to address the matter of police misconduct in regards to the matter. Ms. Cobus also indicated that according to the chief of police, the misconduct investigation is considered a higher priority.

One of the other issues that Ms. Cobus addressed were the rumors surrounding FBI involvement in the investigation. She wished to make it clear that the FBI was only investigating the allegations of police misconduct. At this time, the FBI simply does not have the jurisdiction to investigate a hate crime based on sexual orientation. As an aside, this is why the current legislation that would add sexual orientation to the federal hate crimes law is so important. If this legislation passes, the FBI would have jurisdiction in future incidents of this nature.

Afterwards, members of the community were given their chance to speak and express their feelings. Most notably, those with similar experiences were encouraged to share them. I didn't count them (or record their stories), but I'd estimate that seven or eight people spoke up to share similar experiences of being harassed, stalked, or assaulted, only to have poor police response. Needless to say, there was a great deal of anger and tension in the room. It's no surprised that the organizers asked a member of the LGBT who is a psychologist to mediate this portion of the night's agenda.

The night concluded with a half hour brainstorming session where everyone in attendance was invited to bring up their suggestions on how to prevent such future incidents -- or at least improve how they're handled. Ideas were wildly varied and included everything from improved training for police officers in handling these kinds of crimes to protests and demonstrations. There were a number of excellent suggestions, and I hope that we as a community find a way to implement many of them in the coming months.

According to Danny Hakim over at City Room, New York State Senate majority leader Joseph L. Bruno announced that the Senate will not be voting on gay marriages. His reasoning is that they have too many other matters to vote on to "spend hours debating an issues that, you know, is not going to be of consequence."

I find myself wondering what color the sky is in Mr. Bruno's world. Because if he honestly thinks that gay marriage is not going to be of consequence, it's quite clear that he doesn't live in the same world I do. One merely needs to look at the states who have rushed to create constitutional amendments to ban same sex marriages over the past few years to realize that Mr. Bruno is quite possibly the only person in the entire country that considers the matter so inconsequential.

Also, bear in mind that in New York, there are currently over 170 same sex couples who are seen as legally married. A court ruled that those New York couples who got married in Massachusetts prior to the July 2006 court ruling that determined that there was no constititional right to same sex marriage in New York had valid marriages. This fact alone makes same sex marriage something of a legal problem in this state. Suddenly, legal decisions on how to handle just those 170 marriages -- and how to verify that said marriage took place before the July 2006 deadline -- now have to be considered. In effect, same-sex marriage is going to have to be addressed by the legislature anyway, so Bruno is merely putting off the inevitible.

Of course, according to 365gay.com, Bruno is strongly opposed to gay marriages, which is the real reason he's intent on keeping this matter from a vote. Of course, this merely demonstrates that in the end, Bruno and those like him are concerned that the legislation could pass. So their only way of preventing it is to stop the vote from happening at all. This is a strange and hypocritcal move on the part of those belonging to a party who has be decrying that this matter should be decided by the legislature rather than "activist judges." Apparently, the legislature should only decide if the legislature happens to decide in Mr. Bruno's favor.

Hopefully, Mr. Bruno will discover just how "inconsequential" this issue is when he comes up for re-election.

This weekend was absolutely fantastic. I managed to get out of work at 2:30 on Friday. I drove home, finished putting things in the car, and went to put Precious in her carrier. Unfortunately, she had figured out what was going on and had already hid under the guest bed. I actually had to tear the bed apart to get her -- which stressed her out more. I've decided that in the future, I'm waiting at least an hour after I get home before I try to cage her for a trip. She was rather worked up the entire trip because of everything. And then she was moody towards Kisa when we got to my parents' home.

The two cats didn't get along the best this weekend, though they were both starting to mellow by Sunday afternoon. Of course, it doesn't help that Precious is such a domineering bully and Kisa isn't one fifth her size. Things were exacerbated on Friday night when Precious decided to divebomb the little runt. From then on, Kisa was afraid of Precious and would hiss and spit any time she came near. Of course, this didn't keep the pipsqueak from being downright fascinated by Precious. Of course, the bigger cat had to remind Kisa who was the real boss whenever Kisa started to hiss and spit. I figure that when I go on retreat in August, things should be slightly better. By then, Kisa will be considerably larger and hopefully able to stand her ground better. Of course, I'm not sure if that will be an improvement or just a recipe for further confrontations.

On a side note, I have a one minute video of Kisa. I hope to eventually put it on YouTube. However, it's currently huge (30MB) and I first need to see what I can to do shrink the file size. This should be interesting, as I'm no expert when it comes to video. In fact, I'm rather out of my element.

Friday night, I took my parents' out to Chili's. I don't think I've taken them out to dinner since I moved up here to Rochester. That's someowhat troubling to me, as I used to take them out regularly. In fact, while I lived at home, every birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day, and Father's Day involved a dinner on me. So I figured I was well overdue. We had a great time, though the music was a bit loud for our tastes. Mom and Dad had never eaten at Chili's before, and they felt their first experience was quite well. And I had a great time admiring our waiter's aesthetic qualities.

Saturday, Mom and I wandered over to the Laurel Festival in Wellsboro. We wandered the craft fair and had a great time. I ended up picking up a gorgeous throw pillow with a black bear on it. I also picked up the Brat Queen a pillow filled with catnip, which she adores. (I figured it'd give her something besides the kitten to beat up on.) I also checked out a gorgeous stone fountain and a framed painting of a cougar sitting next to a cliff. I loved both items, but decided they each cost more than I was prepared to spend that day. (Besides, getting the car to that part of town to pick up the rather heavy fountain would've been a headache.)

Beyond that, I just had a pleasant visit with my parents. It was a fantastic weekend.

While driving to Applebee's tonight, Aerosmith's song, I Don't Want to Miss a Thing, came on the radio. There are many songs that are deeply connected to memories of people and events in my life, and this is one such song. In fact, it's probably one of the most strongly connected songs I can think of.

Tonight, this song took me back to my relationship with my first boyfriend. At the time Chris (not his real name) and I were dating, this song was relatively new and seeing a lot of airtime across the nation. And every time I heard it, I became more deeply convinced that it was the perfect song to describe how I felt about our relationship. In fact, I think I pointed this out to Chris at the time.

Thinking about the relationship now, I can still understand why I felt this way. Chris and I seldom saw each other (we probably spent barely over a week total together throughout the six months we were "involved"), and it was perfectly reasonable for me to want to make as much of that precious rare time as I could. On more than one occasion, I ended up taking a sick or personal day off work just so I could have those eight more hours with him.

Of course, there were other reasons for feeling like this, too. The relationship wasn't healthy, and I knew it. And that made me want to cling to it even tighter, holding it together out of my own desparation. Aerosmith's song spoke to me powerfully and romantically about that desparation I was feeling. In many ways, I used that song to validate my sense of desperation.

As I listened to that song this evening and allowed these memories and thoughts to play through my mind, I began to ask myself many questions. The first question was whether there was any pain associated with this song or the memories that it evoked. There wasn't, and I have to admit that I'm a little surprised by that. Certainly, there's a certain morose feel to the whole thing as I think of mistakes made and lessons learned. And there's the memory of the pain that used to be there. There's the knowledge that years ago, hearing this song would've driven me to tears almost instantly. But not this evening. This evening, there was merely a sense of familiarity and a knowledge of what has passed. And while I find it somewhat strange, I also find it rather comforting.

Of course, I also asked myself how I felt about the message of the song today. If I were with someone, would this song still reflect how I would feel about a new relationship? And I think that for the most part, I can say that it doesn't. Because now, my love relationships aren't about desperation, they're about something else.

The underlying premise of the song is about a relationship that would consume my whole life, an that's not what I'm lookin fo at all. Certainly, I want a lover I can share my life with, and I'd prefer to spend the rest of my life with him. And there are certainly those moments I will want to get lost in, but only for a time. Because there are other things in my life that are equally important. And I do not wish to give up those things completely just so I can make sure I "don't miss a thing" with my lover. That just isn't healthy.

It's strange to think of the thought processes a song can initiate. Of course, I also find it interesting that this all started on the same day that I had a dream about Chris (sadly, I don't remember any details) while napping.

Eileen has tagged me (unless there's another Jarred who reads her blog) for a meme. Fortunately, this one is only asking for "random" facts about me rather than "werid" facts. Of course, as a software engineer, I suspect my facts will actually be pseudorandom rather than truly random. At any rate, here goes the meme:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

My random facts:

1. I used to be terribly shy and rarely spoke around others. In fact, one woman who used to attend the church I went to while in college admitted to me after two years that she originally thought I was mute.

2. I'm 5'10". My first boyfriend was 5'3". My second boyfriend was 5'10". My most recent boyfriend (though I'm not sure that word applies, considering we weren't together for much more than a week) was 6'2". If this trend continues, I suspect I'll need a stepladder to kiss my next boyfriend.

3. There are two points in my life where I seriously considered going into the ministry. The first was in junior high. The second time was in college. I've since changed religions (obviously).

4. I kissed a guy for the first time in my life this past February.

5. I absolutely love mathematics. However, I prefer abstract mathematics. This is rather strange for someone who is a software engineer, as engineers prefer practical applications of mathematics. (After all, it's what our job is about!)

6. My hand-eye coordination is terrible, if not non-existent. This is due to the fact that I had a lazy eye for the first twenty seven years of my life. My point of focus would change instantaneously, making it rather difficult to hit or catch a ball moving towards me at relatively high velocities.

7. I can count the number of musicals I've seen (either on television or live) on one hand. The gay male community is still debating whether to revoke my membership. (Note: Anyone who even thinks of complaining about my invocation of this stereotype should stop reading my blog now.)

8. I only have one planet in my entire natal chart that's in an earth sign. The planet is Venus. It's in Taurus. For those familiar with astrology, that explains a lot about my personality. (For those who know nothing about astrology, Neener!)

Okay, now for eight people I think will respond to a tag, but haven't been tagged by someone else (I hope):

The Crew
The Sentinel
Susan
Tracie
Craig
RampoPreacher
Mark
Estella

Yesterday came and went, and I'm proud to announce that at least half of the activities I had planned took place. A couple got dropped for various reasons, but I'm willing to consider my birthday celebration a stunning success. Blistered feet and all.

Granted, I could've done without the blisters, but it's my own fault. And I figure they'll heal eventually. They're from my successful trek along the canal path from Genesee Valley Park to Schoen Place. The walk took me right about two and a half hours along and was well worth the trip.

I got up at seven yesterday morning, showered, grabbed my water bottles out of the freezer, and left the house for the day. By the time I bought a backpack (necessary for the water and snacks I was taking on the trip), had a quick breakfast on the go, and make it to the park, it was just after nine. And I was off and walking.

The weather was absolutely perfect for this walk, as it was still in the sixties when I started and ony got up to the seventies or eighties by the time I was done at half past eleven. The view was absolutely gorgeous along the way. Sometimes I was walking through areas with dense vegetation, while the trail took me through broad fields in other places. The canal was visible 90% of the time, and I even managed to see a couple boats making their way through the water. I think the best sight, however, was near the end when I managed to spot a mother mallard with several tiny ducklings. I think any of her children would have fit easily in the palms of my hand. I might've even been able to close my fingers around their tiny bodies. I wish I would've taken my camera, and plan on taking it when I repeat the walk in July.

I've already decided to take this trek once every month while the weather stays warm enough for me. However, I do need to be sure to plan a bit better in the future. For example, I need to get a good pair of walking shoes or hiking boots. Of course, I didn't realize that my current walking shoes (the ones I wear every day) had some major holes in the insoles. That didn't help the blisters that formed on my feet at all. So I will be getting new shoes, and probably a pair just for this trip. (Michele is also recommending I get the gel inserts for this walk, and I'm inclined to see wisdom in that suggestion, too.)

The other mistake I made was not getting sunscreen. My face, forehead, and forearms are nice and red. In fact, my forehead is still itching a bit from the burn. Fortunately, the backpack protected the back of my neck. I figure I may even have to consider a hat next time, as I think parts of my scalp under my hair got a bit burned too.

But despite these lessons learned, I enjoyed the trek. It was great to be in the great outdoors. And besides the sunburn and sore feet (and the fact I've been napping half the day today), I don't feel any worse for the wear.

After that, I called Belinda to come get me. She didn't realize how far out Schoen Place is from Psychic's Thyme up on University Avenue, so she eventually was afraid she got lost and went back to the shop to get Michele. They eventually found me, though I note with some humor that my wait for my ride was over half as long as the seven mile hike I took. Of course, since Michele was working, I had her take me directly to the shop rather than having her take me to the car. Char immediately started harassing me for taking such a walk, pointing out I should've only gone half the distance and then walked back to my car. I pointed out to her that the whole point of the walk -- and what makes it fun -- is that you're walking from a certain point to another point. I'm not sure she appreciated the concept, but that's okay.

After the store closed, a group of us went to Red Robin. Michele and Belinda were nice enough to cover my dinner, even with the strawberry dacquiri I ordered. We had a good time and I spent my usual time ogling the various waiters that passed by. Unfortunately, our own server was a woman. That's actually pretty good, considering I was feeling impish enough that I might've teasingly hit on any guy unlucky enough to get our table. I was bad enough that Jim even called me a slut. I just looked at him and asked him if it had really taken him that long to figure it out. (Of course, any of my friends know better, when it comes right down to it.)

After that, we ran to Equal Grounds to listen to the live music there. This guy was a good musician, but he doesn't have quite the stage presence of the Monastery Dropouts. As such, we stayed in the other room where we could enjoy the music but still talk amongst ourselves without disturbing anyone else.

After an hour or so a the coffee shop, I decided I needed to get home. My feet were really starting to bother me and I was developing a headache. (Earlier today, I finally decided the headache was due to a lack of calcium. The quart of peanut butter cup ice cream seems to have solved the problem.) So we took Jim back out to Chili and Michele and Belinda dropped me off at my house so I could get to bed.

As a final note, I discovered at the end of my journey that they were having a regata in Pittsford yesterday. Had I realized that, I would've taken a chair with me and spent the day there after my walk. I love that sort of thing. And there were certain enough shirtless guys wandering around to keep me in eye candy.

Last Wednesday, Brian and I got talking after Game Night was done. Brian was waiting for Woody to get done looking at JOhn's laptop, and I was just in no hurry to go back home. It's the first chance I've really had an opportunity to talk to Brian much, as he only comes to Game Night rarely. (His job usually keeps him away.) In fact, besides a brief hello at the Vickie Shaw show, this was the first time I've seen him since the first Game Night I attended in March.

While we were talking, he paid me a huge compliment. The topic of ages came up, and I found out that Brian and Woody are actually only two years older than me. When I commented on this, Brian mentioned that he had originally assumed I was about twenty eight. I told him thank you and probably grinned from ear to ear. Believe me, considering I turn thirty three next Monday, it's nice to find out some people look at me and still think I'm in my twenties. What can I say? I'm just superficial enough to wish I could look young forever.

I'm starting to think about what I want to do this weekend for my birthday. It's rather funny, considering that during the 1990's and even up until 2004, I didn't really care much about my birthdays. I was just content to practically forget them. And yet now, I want to celebrate them and do something special for them. I suppose a lot of that has to do with the fact that my opinion of myself and my life has changed. These are things that, in my mind at least, not only deserve to be celebrated, but even demand it. And fortunately, I have friends who seem more than happy to humor me in this matter.

I'm considering taking the long walk I've been thinking about for the past month. I want to walk the canal trail from Genesee Valley Park to Schoen Place. I just need to find a friend who is willing to pick me up at the end and bring me back to my car at my point of origin. (That or else have them drop me off as well as pick me up.) It'd be quite a few miles and a good morning/afternoon activity.

That evening, I'll probably go out to eat with friends. I'm thinking about pushing to go to Red Robin. Yeah, there are places with much fancier meals. But to be frank, I'd be choosing that place for the aesthetically pleasing waitstaff. Hey, I know where my priorities are!

I'm also thinking about pestering a couple of friends to go out dancing that night. It's been close to a year since the last time I've been dancing, and I feel way overdue for it. And of course, I'm also thinking about getting a hotel room for the weekend. Who knows, maybe I can find a hotel that has a room with a jacuzzi available....