December 2007 Archives

Due to online conversations I've had over the past week, I was reminded of an entry I wrote on another diary site. I decided to find it and repost it to this blog. As I recall, the topic created quite a stir back in 2004, though most people seemed to applaud my outlook on the matter. And even those who didn't applaud it tended to have mixed feelings than being completely against my point.

Searching through the Stand To Reason website, (don't ask why I was there) I found a recommended letter for one to send to gay people who might be visiting your home. I've posted the letter below:

Dear ,

I need to let you know that although we love you and look forward to seeing you, we don't want you to bring your friend with you. We have nothing against him personally. If he were visiting as an individual under other circumstances, that would be another matter. I don't believe in ostracizing others whose behavior I disagree with.

This situation is different, though. In so far as the two of you are in the relationship you're in, welcoming you both as a couple would be treating as good and normal a relationship which is neither.

Our concerns may cause you to cancel your visit. I hope not. We'd like to see you. However, in good conscience we must insist on this principle in our home.
Sincerely,

I wish I could say that I'm shocked that anyone would even suggest such a letter. Unfortunately, I'm not even mildly surprised. Unfortunately, the extremely conservative Christian elements have a history of these sorts of things. But rather than ranting about it, I decided to simply post my suggested response. It's the basic response that I would send if anyone was ever foolish enough to send me such a letter.

Dear ,

I am writing to inform you that, as you suspected, i will be canceling my visit to your home. My boyfriend and I are working hard to build a life together, and it is our policy to refuse all invitations where we are not welcome as a couple. This is a principal of our relationship, and we are unwilling to compromise it.

We do not require that people approve of our relationship. We do not require that people like our relationship. However, we do require that people come to terms with our relationship and treat it as an important part of our lives. Your request that I leave my boyfriend at home when I come to visit you makes it clear that you would rather ignore an important part of my life, and I will not accept that. As such, I also wish to inform you that at this time, I find it appropriate to end our friendship.

I'm sure that this decision will shock you, and suspect that you will even think it's an overreaction to your request. However, I would ask that you consider what you are asking of me and try to put yourself in my shoes. There are many people who disapprove of various relationships for various reasons. Some disapprove of divorcees who remarry. Some disapprove of relationships between people who feel they "married too young" or "got together for the wrong reasons." The list of reasons that people disapprove of others' relationships is virtually endless. Now, suppose that someone disapproved of your own marriage for one reason or another. How would you react if that person informed you that you were not welcome in their home as a couple?

You have chosen to put me in that very position. I will not abide by that. As such, I feel it is best to wish you the best in life and part ways.

Regards,
Jarred.

Pam over at Willful Grace created a wonderful post in which she describes the major events in her life in each of the last twelve months as well as the lessons she learned from those events. It's a fantastic post and I encourage everyone to read it.

More importantly, Pam inspired me to do something similar. Sadly, my post won't be nearly as organized or well thought out as Pam's is. To be honest, I don't think I could come up with a single even for every month since last January. And besides, there are a couple of months that I doubt I could boil down into a single event or a single lesson learned from the events of some months.

The good news is that I'm not in a competition with Pam, so I'm under neither obligation nor pressure to match her excellent post. This gives me the freedom to simply allow her to inspire me and see where the inspiration takes me. So for that, I'd like to say thank you to her. And without further ado, I devote this post to the highlights of the previous year of my life.

I think that the first major highlight of the year came in February, when I met Rob. I didn't talk about Rob much in this blog, and there's a good reason for it. Rob represented the first time that a potential (and real, however temporary) love interest actually read my blog. As such, I struggled with finding the balance of what I could say, knowing that I didn't want to reveal anything I hadn't already discussed with him. After all, reading about what another person is feeling about you in his blog rather than firsthand strikes me as a horrible thing.

Rob found me online -- on Valentine's Day no less -- and contacted me to express a desire to get to know me and explore the possibility of a relationship. In many ways, we hit it off quite well. And I have to admit that I was swept off my feet. Rob was the first guy to actually pursue me. (Usually, I've had to chase after the other guy.) I learned just how much I could enjoy being the object of pursuit. In fact, I'd say that one of the things I learned about myself due to my encounter with Rob is that I like a slightly aggressive guy.

Sadly, things with Rob were fast-paced and terribly short lived. After a few dates and immediately after our first night together, Rob decided I wasn't what he was looking for after all. I have to admit that after being pursued that hard and dropped just as quickly, I was stinging. Though I did learn an important lesson in that respect, too. My guides tried to tell me things were going too fast and I should slow things back down. But I allowed myself to get carried away in the heat of the moment.

Of course, I don't think things would've ended any differently. After much time, I realize that Rob and I just weren't right for each other. And that would've been the case no matter how slowly we took things. Though I do admit that I wonder if slowing down would've enabled us to realize this before we took things as far as we did, saving at least some heartache. So the lesson I learned from that is that when spirit says slow down, it's best to listen, even if you are enjoying the heat of the moment.

March and April brought new choices with them. After the events of February, I realized that I needed to get out more and put myself in positions where I could meet more people. Before then, I had a small group of great friends, and I'm still thankful for them. But I realized that if I wanted more out of life (especially in the realms of socializing and dating), it was time to expand my circles even farther. So I began to join various groups and look for other ways to get out in the wider community. I would say I've seen some mixed results from those efforts, but I'd say they were positive overall. And it's still a work in progress. And I've made some great friendships (especially one in particular) as a result that I think I will always cherish.

The summer months, starting with June, brought unexpected changes in me. In June, I started walking more. In fact, the weekend before my birthday, I took my first ever seven mile walk along the Erie canal. That first walks was both exciting and draining. I came away with a sunburn and some pretty serious blisters on my feet, but I also developed a passion for the trek. In fact, I loved it so much, that I repeated the walk once a month through September and am even counting down the days until the warm weather returns and I can resume the little tradition.

In addition to the canal walk, I began taking a walk after my weekly dinner with friends on Monday nights. Those walks began when I got ready to leave the restaurant one Monday night and decided it was too gorgeous an evening to just go home. So a second walking tradition was born. By the end of summer, I was up to three one-hour walks a week (except on the weekend I'd take the canal walk, in which case that trek would replace one of the regular walks). I began to see this as something I did for enjoyment.

As an aside, this is also the summer that I began to enjoy sunbathing. This is something I had considered a waste of time while growing up and would often shake my head at my sister in disgust during summer vacations when she'd sunbathe daily. In fact, when I confessed to my sister this summer that I'd started enjoying the practice myself, she immediately asked, "Who are you and what have you done with my brother?"

In August, I went with friends the Northeast Naturist Festival. I had a pleasant time while there (though I will note that I kept my clothes on 99.9% of the time I was there) and enjoyed my first real vacation (i.e. a prolonged period off where I did something other than visit family) in years. I came to appreciate again the importance of pampering myself.

The naturist retreat also marked the point in time where I'd say I really began to start coming into my own in terms of spirituality. I had a few moving experiences while there, and they initiated changes in myself that continued over the next several months, and will likely continue into the coming year.

At this point, I will also note that I started really "coming into my own" in general around this time. Or at least I began to notice it. I began building much more self-confidence and a willingness to take risks and make myself more vulnerable. In some ways, I'd say my transformation into a minor social butterfly started to become more noticeable at this point.

In September and October, I had more spiritual awakenings. It is at this time when my patroness, Freyja, began to make it more clear that the nature of our relationship was going to change significantly. (I'm still not ready to publicly discuss the nature of that change, however.) Again, I found myself in situations where my comfort zones were pushed and I was encouraged (not quite at knifepoint) to stretch as a person.

Also in October, I went to a cousin's wedding. While making the trip with my parents and members from my father's side of the family, Freyja also impressed upon me the fact that I've cut myself off from my family. She began to impress upon me the fact that I need to get closer to them. She says it's because there are ways in which I can help various people in my family. Of course, I'm not sure how that's going to work, considering that the kind of help I can best offer is something most of them would be opposed to. But I guess time will tell.

Then in December, the bombshell dropped. About two weeks before Yule, Freyja suggested (again, not quite at knifepoint) that I should plan the Yule ritual for a small group of friends. So I placed the necessary calls, made the commitment, and moved forward. I have to admit, I was rather nervous, especially after becoming sick for the week prior to the ritual, which I had originally hoped to better use for planning. But things turned out beautifully and everyone had a pleasant time. And fortunately, I have much more advanced noticed for the next ritual I'm expected to plan, which isn't until the Spring Equinox.

I'd say it's been an interesting, profound, and profitable year. Hopefully the coming one will continue in that trend.

Tracie sent me the link to a story that I can only describe as religiously aided extortion:

Madhya Pradesh urban administration and development minister Narottam Mishra has directed officials to probe the social boycott of 20 families in Betul district for allegedly practising witchcraft. Each family has been asked to pay a penalty of Rs.10,000 to 'get back to the society'.

Now, I susppose that being shunned until they pay the penalty is arguably better than being executed, as sometimes happens to "child witches" in Africa. However, one must wonder (and not being familiar with this part of the world, I have no point of reference to even offer a guess) how many of these families even have the Rs.10,000 being demanded of them, let alone the ability to part with the money and still feed and clothe themselves.

I think what particularly disturbs me about this story is that these families were "found out" through a baba performing a ritual designed to discover witches. So the baba fingers these families and now they're on the hook. I mean, what if the baba got it wrong -- or worse, is lying because of a personal vendetta? Do these families have any recourse? Or does being ritually "discovered" trump all forms of reason and/or evidence? If that's the case, then I see a potential racket!

As someone who started out this life as a rather conservative fundamentalist Christian attending a Baptist Church and has since become a rather liberal, goddess-worshipping Vanic witch with a fancy for other guys, I know first-hand just how much a person can change over time. Fortunately for me, I've met some precious people in this world who also understood that and could embrace those changes. After all, had everyone simply chosen to look at my origins, I would be rather lonely right now.

To explore the memory that I'd like to write about, I first need to set up some background. In college, I was an active member in both my campus's chapter of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship and an "alternative ministry" program specific to my college called Acts 29. In fact, 99% of my non-academic life revolved around these two groups.

Of course, this meant I was very Christian and quite conservative in my outlook at this time, too. I felt that Christianity was the One True Religion(tm) and that homosexuality was a horrible sin. (Yes, I suspect I even uttered the baleful "love the sinner, hate the sin" phrase at least once during my college career.) Now, I wasn't particularly antagonistic in my opinion (and a few of the gay students I've talked to since would even agree). I didn't organize or stage protests. I didn't stand outside of BGLASS (my college's version of a gay student union) meetings and harass its members or any such thing. For the most part, I basically ignored the very existence of gay and bisexual students on campus. (Of course, I might argue that this is even worse than the things I didn't do.) But if you asked anyone on campus who knew me, I guarantee you they knew my views.

So when my own prison-closet cracked open and I began to accept and come to terms with my own gayness, I found myself in a bit of a sticky situation. Most of my friends were of the "homosexuality is a sin" mentality, and the group that was best equipped to help me at this point in my life was filled with people I had managed to alienate, even if only indirectly. So I spent the last couple of months of my college career in a sort of limbo, only finding support from a small group of friends involved with the computer consultants (another on-campus project dedicated to helping fellow students resolve their computer problems).

And then of course, there was ISCA BBS. I had been introduced to the Telnet-based BBS (if you don't know what any of that means, think of it as a sort of precursor to message forums that litter the Word Wide Web today) back when I was a freshman. It included discussion forums for discussing gay issues and even had an invite-only support group for LGBT-folk. I found a lot of support and helpful information there, which was boon for me. Not only that, it was something I managed to stick with after college, when living in rural PA.

Well, my worlds did collide to some degree. An old member of BGLASS (who graduated at least a year before I did), Rob, was also on ISCA BBS. What's more, he knew my username. Well, needless to say, Rob remembered who I was and my beliefs and attitudes prior to coming out. And while he didn't make too big of an issue of my past (in fact, he only ever mentioned it twice and was even one of the people to admit I wasn't "too bad" when it came to stuff like harassing people), it was also pretty clear that he wasn't exactly ready to think of it as water long passed under the bridge either.

What amazed me, however, was the reaction he received from other users of the BBS on the second time he brought up my past. I forget what exactly Rob said. To be honest, I didn't find it all that objectionable, as he simply brought the subject up. Granted, it did give me pause to feel a twinge of guilt due to such memories, but I took it in stride. However, at least one of the long-standing members of the discussion group was not so willing to just let thing be. This individual instead chose to very pointedly remind Rob that my past was not relevant and that who I am today (or that day, as I've further changed since even then) was what was relevant. Indeed, this person seemed quite incensed that Rob would even bring up such distasteful skeletons.

Now, I've never been one to try and hide or even deny my past. I won't beat myself up for them either, instead choosing simply to acknowledge that I made some bad choices in the past. But I was and still am grateful that there were those people who were willing to let those bad choices go and instead embrace the person I had become. I think some times, we all need people like that. May the gods bless those who accept that we may not be the same person today as we were yesterday. It grants us the freedom to continue that transformation tomorrow.

In a comment exchange, Erin posed some questions:

Christianity has been much more focused on orthodoxy than orthopraxy for a long time. However, some of us are beginning to say (maybe idealistically) this is a bad thing, because if one doesn't rightly practice what he/she rightly believes, what value does the belief have?

So anyhow...do you think it's possible to swing too far the other way; or in your tradition does it work well to be more practice oriented than belief oriented, as you say it is? Do you see too much of either being a problem? Or do you think it really depends on the tradition and what it's values are, my question is comparing apples to oranges?

I know so little about Pagan traditions, mostly what I've learned from books like Drawing Down the Moon and The Druid's Handbook...and from Phil Wyman, and a couple Pagan blogs I read. (Ironically, entirely knowledge over experience, exactly what I rail against in my own tradition.) So please forgive me if this is an ignorant question, but it's what came to mind when you said that.

I originally told Erin I'd try to answer her question in a week or so. Well, I didn't make it. But I figure better later than never, right? Besides, as my favorite math teacher's favorite poet once said, "A promise made is a debt unpaid," and I think it's time to pay up this particular debt.

As I reread Erin's comment, it occurs to me that I need to be careful in my answer to point out a potential difference in our respective uses of the word "orthopraxy," lest there be a disconnect and breakdown in effective dialogue. Most notably, it seems that Erin is thinking primarily in terms of "practicing what you preach." And while I certainly think that practicing what you preach is a really good idea to the point of being essential, it wasn't exactly where I was going when I brought up the original term.

Originally, when I mentioned orthopraxy, I was speaking in terms of liturgy. In my experience, no matter how formally and complex or simple and straightforward Pagans like their ritual, the act of ritual itself is fairly important. Indeed, I once remember reading an online posting by one of the "big names" in ADF comment that he didn't care so much whether a given person believed that all gods are indivdual beings (a topic of lively debate amongs some Pagans, actually) when they attended his rituals so much as he cared how enthusiastically they sang the chants and otherwise participated in the rite at hand.

This mentality is much driven by the fact that Pagan religions on the whole tend towards being experiential in nature. Rituals and the liturgy involved in them become important because they offer a way to make contact with and experience the gods. And such contact and experience often becomes far more important than holding a specific, predetermined list of credal beliefs about those gods -- or anything else.

Of course, one of the things that I have noticed is that I have noticed about this approach is that as a person participates in these rituals and have these experiences, they start to shape one's understanding of various things, and certain beliefs begin to formulate as a result. Indeed, it's not uncommon that many people who practice the same rituals together regularly (and I'll admit that my bias in favor of traditionalism is showing up in this post) often begin to develop very similar and even identical beliefs as a result. So in the end, there usually exists some sort of relationship between "practice" and "belief" anyway. It simply becomes a matter of which one tends to get focused on.

I'll also note that this focus on liturgy and practice is not unique to Paganism, nor is it absent from Christianity. As someone who has spoken to friends who are Catholic and Orthodox as well as reading several Epsicopalian blogs (sorry, guys, but there's too many of you to mention by name), I know that some denominations place a huge emphasis on liturgy and the sacraments (which are even sometimes refered to as mysteries), far more so than the Baptist and pentacostal churches I attended ever did.

Of course, I also think that it's important to consider the "practicing what you preach" aspect of religious life, too. Erin is right to think of it. And I think it's unfortunate that far more people (Christian and otherwise) never seem to get around to living out some of the things they say they believe in.

In part, I do think this is based on an overemphasis of credal thinking. We get so heavily involved in going over the mental checklist of doctrines we need to give our assent to that it becomes easy to lose track of what we need to be doing. (And yes, I do think that even Pagans can fall into this trap.)

Of course, I think that part of the problem is that right living really can't be codified. Life is too messy and too fluid to be neatly governed by creeds, or even properly covered by a commandment-based system of morality. Indeed, I often find the tendency to mix a system of creeds and the whole idea of morality to be almost ludicrous. Instead, I think morality, being based in action, needs to be based on a clear understanding of what we value in life. To me stopping and asking myself how a given action will honor my values of honesty, compassion, courage, and so on is far easier than trying to find the commandment that best fits the situation or asking "What Would Jesus (or Freyja, in my case) Do?"

Now, before anyone accuses me of being too down on Christianity, I'd like to point out that I think that Christianity does offer a way to approach moral living in this way. After all, the Bible has more than one place where it speaks of what virtues should be pursued in life. (Indeed, 1 Corinthians 13 offers a whole discussion of the nature of love that would be well worth contemplating in many moral quandries.) It's just that I think that very visible segments within the Christian world probably need to make a better effort at putting these passages and the process of pondering these virtues to better use.

As for "What Would Jesus Do," I will admit that I don't think it's a terrible question to ask. In fact, I think the theory is rather solid. The idea is that Jesus was a role model who demonstrated and lived out these virtues perfectly. So asking what he would do in a given situation is simply an attempt to follow his example in demonstrating those virtues. Unfortunately, I think that a significiant number of Christians (and I know I would've been a part of that number back in my Christian days) are far better at knowing facts (beliefs) about Jesus and what he did than understanding his nature and character. And for "WWJD" to become an effective moral exercise, that needs to change in a person's life.

I don't know if I really answered Erin's question, but I've certainly enjoyed writing down the thoughts she provoked.

The picture in this post is a poorly scanned image of one of the professional photographs I gave my mother for Christmas yesterday. (I'm hoping the bad scan-job will save me from a copyright infringement suit if the photographer ever visits my blog. I know, bad me.) In fact, this is the shot of which I ordered an 8x10 print and took it to Jo Ann's to have it custom framed. I wanted to take a picture of the framed picture as well, but (1) I forgot my camera and (2) Mom didn't get it hung on the wall before I left yesterday afternoon. I hope to get a shot of it sometime in the next few months, however.

Needless to say, Mom was exceedingly pleased with her Christmas present this year. Similarly, Dad was happy with the electric air compressor I bought him, as well. (Of course, he should be happy with it, considering he helped me pick it out Christmas Eve.) He says he'll thank me every time he has to pump up a tire on the Jeep, the tractor, or the lawn mower. I didn't realize he was having so many problems with tires going flat.

Christmas was a pleasant time for me this year. I spent the night before Christmas at my parents' home. I had a full night's sleep which was uninterrupted by the sound of hoofbeats on the roof, despite the fact that my room is on the second floor. When I awoke, I found Mom already in the kitchen. Dad woke up shortly thereafter, and we enjoyed a pleasant breakfast together before heading to the family room to open gifts.

I received a new polo shirt and a couple pair of sleep shorts, along with some much needed items to help organize my home and keep it that way. My mother received some framed pictures from my father, including a collage of photographs which he spent more than three hours working on putting together the day before. Mom in turn gave dad a new snow gauge and some clothing necessities.

Shortly after we finished our gift exchanged, my sister called from Mississippi to wish us all a Merry Christmas and give a report of their morning. Apparently, the children were all quite excited about their gifts. (In fact, they were too busy playing with them to hop on the phone long enough to speak with my parents or myself.)

After a tasty ham dinner and an hour or so of after-dinner conversation, I decided it was time for me to scoop up Precious and head back to Rochester. The trip home was uneventful, though I could've used a nap before making it, now that I think about it. Once I got home, I spent time with Precious as she got re-accustomed to our home. (She spent the time since Thanksgiving living with her grandparents.) I then found a light, quick meal and watched a bit of television before deciding to call it a night.

I hope all my readers had an equally restful and blessed Christmas.

The picture above is of Grey, Kisa, and Paw, two of the barn cats and my parents' indoor cat. The small group decided to curl up on the love seat together tonight, and Dad shot this perfect picture of them. I think it perfectly describes the quiet, intimate evening we've all had here in the Harris household this Christmas evening. Well, everyone except for Precious, who is stressed over the number of kittens currently occupying the house.

The Yule ritual went well Saturday night. A small group of us gathered at around eight, had a light meal, and then retired to the living room for a time of honoring the gods and working magic. Everyone seemed rather satisfied with the ritual I planned. (Though a certain goddess might take some small issue with my claim to have planned it.) After all was said and done, I think the party broke up around evelen that night.

I spent the night with friends, then headed on down to Mom and Dad's Sunday. This morning, Dad and I ran out to finish our Christmas shopping together, then came home to relax. Tomorrow, we'll open gifts together and have lunch before I head back home in time to get a good night's sleep before work on Wednesday.

Overall, it's been a good holiday season. I hope my readers have also found equal times of peace and the company of loved ones at this time of year.

I haven't been posting much lately due to being ill for the past week. However, to give all my readers something to check out, I decided to post another link. Besides, it's a good follow-up. Some of you may remember the link I posted to Matt Hill Comer's blog entry about returning to his childhood church. Well, recently, he received a comment from another member of that church. Matt made a public reply, and it's well worth reading. The strength of his response is astounding, not to mention well merited (in my opinion at least).

As I commented on Matt's entry, it amazes me how some evangelical and fundamentalist Christians have abstracted the concept of love to such a degree that they can justify just about any behavior or attitude they might have about people they see as "sinners." If that's love, I can't say as it's worth very much.

Last night, my friend, Rick, and I went to see Dan in Real Life. It was a fantastic movie about a widower and father of three daughters, Dan. Dan also wrote an advice column geared towards parents and family issues. So picture a nice, quiet guy with a number of deep insights and rather sensitive side. (No, he wasn't gay.)

While spending time with his parents and siblings, Dan ends up meeting an intelligent and good looking woman, Marie, with whom he strikes up a conversation. After managing to get her phone number despite her admission that she's in a relationship, Dan returns to his parents house and begins to tell one of his brothers about the girl he met. Of course, as in most closely-knit families, the news starts to travel fast and they even call on the new girlfriend of another brother to offer insight on how soon is "too soon" to call a woman. Of course, imagine Dan's surprise when said new girlfriend turns out to be -- you guessed it -- the lovely Marie herself.

I have to admit that I'm not a huge fan of Steve Carell (or at least not The Office, for which he is best known). However, he plays the role of Dan in this movie extremely well, and makes his character believable. The movie is absolutely fantastic (though I have to admit it may have hit a bit closer to home than I cared for), and it's a touching, despite being slightly cliche in some places. (For example, I saw the ending of the bowling alley scene coming from a mile away.) But in the end, I was moved and even shed a few tears, so I'd say it was a great movie overall.

One of the inherent problems with agreeing to enter into a working relationship with a specific deity is that said deity actually expects you to work. And eventually, that work will include tasks that require you to step outside of your comfort zones and do things you're not sure you're ready for. This morning, I experienced one such instance in my own life.

A small group of friends and I have been talking about getting together more regularly to do ritual. This is the group (or at least the core part, though I hope we invite a few of the others for Yule) that gets together every year to celebrate Samhain together. The rest of the year, we get together more sporadically. As I said, that's something a few of us would like to change.

As I was driving in to work this morning, I got thinking about this fact, and the upcoming solstice. A couple of us had been talking about the fact that we really should do a Yule ritual. However, no one has sat down to actually make any plans. It was this last fact I was considering when Freyja decided to speak her mind.

"You know, you could plan the ritual."

I blinked and immediately thought to myself that I'm not sure where I'd begin. Suddenly, I had a handful of ideas running through my head. Obviously, she wasn't going to let me off that easy. So I thought about it for the rest of the drive to the office. Once I got here, I made a call and offered to plan the ritual. It turns out that this was a good thing, because the others had already agreed to do ritual for Yule and even set the date, but weren't sure what they were going to do. So it looks like I'll be taking the lead on the planning as long as they provide the space.

I'm also getting the inkling (another one of her ideas, I'm afraid) that I'm going to suggest that we trade off. I'll plan the solstices and equinoxes if the others will take care of the other four high days.

Egads, what have I gotten myself into? But then, I keep getting told that I need to quit hiding and take on a more active role. I guess this is a step in that direction.

Darn goddesses, anyway.

I promise to get back to blogging soon. But in the meantime, I thought I'd post what I consider very accurate results from an online test.

What Is Your Daemon?

DOG - Your daemon may be a dog if you are loyal and caring, and like to know what is expected of you. You probably are very family oriented, and have a small group of friends that you are very close to, rather than a large group of acquaintances. You dislike confrontation, but you will stand up and fight for the people and issues that you really care about. You may prefer someone else to take the lead in a situation, although you would rather take the lead yourself than have the situation fall apart. You probably enjoy routine and order, but that doesn't mean you don't like to have fun. If anything, your friends probably know you for getting intense, child-like pleasure in the small things in life.
Take this quiz!

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I haven't blogged in a while. I haven't had the time or energy. And I'm not entirely sure how to write about some of the things that have been on my mind lately.

But to give everyone something well worth reading, I thought I'd point out over to Matt Hill Comer's experience in returning to his childhood church and confronting the pastor. All I can say is that Matt is one courageous man and an inspiration.

As I read it, I asked if I could do something similar. I've decided I couldn't right now. Of course, to my old church's credit, they never preached violence and the whole topic of homosexuality didn't really come up all that much. In fact, in my rural area, I think everyone just pretended that sort of thing didn't happen. That was a "big city thing."

Besides, the people from my old church I would consider it necessary to confront mostly happen to be related to me. That adds a whole dimension of scariness in my mind.