May 2008 Archives

My previous post about what Pagan community looks like got me thinking about community and community building in general. To me, community building is in itself a spiritual discipline. The meal after a ritual is as important as the ritual itself. The regular covered dish dinners (one of the things I think the Baptist church I grew up in got right) are as important as the Sunday morning worship service. In fact, the charismatic church I attended my senior year in college understood this so much that they started having covered dish lunches every Sunday afternoon after the service!

From a Pagan perspective, each individual contains a spark of the Divine in their being. Perhaps some traditions don't express it in exactly those words, but I think it's universally (or nearly so) expressed in one way or another. For example, the Norse traditions hold to the idea that humans are descended from the gods. (How literally or symbolically this should be taken may be debated, but it's there.) So there's that sense of Divine origin and connection.

When I consider human relationships while holding this perspective in mind, even the simplest interactions become profound. Each time I laugh with a friend, share in his joy, or help dry her tears, the divine spark in me is reaching out and connecting with the divine spark in the other. In that moment, we are recognizing each other's sacredness. A shared meal becomes a moment that strengthens our spiritual connection. And such connections should be strengthened, as they promote growth, both individually and collectively.

We sit in a circle in the dimly lit room. Incense smoke wafts gently upward among the flickering candlelight from the small altar. One of the attendees, a woman in her forties, speaks of the spirit who just gave a message. The woman identifies the spirit as a great aunt. She mentions that the woman had been a midwife, explaining the deep understanding of "alternative medicine" the medium had sensed in the spirit. A small, hushed conversation ensues as stories and experiences are traded. A short silence falls, soon ended as another medium shifts slightly, preparing to give the next message.

The above paragraph is a factual account of a small portion of the monthly seance I attended a couple weeks ago. I've tried to capture (though not entirely successfully) the somber intimacy of the moment here because I feel that moment was representative of the essence and nature of my own spiritual community. That community is something that Erin recently asked me to write about.

Spiritual community among Pagans is a complex, subtle, and even elusive thing. In some ways, I don't think we have a community so much as a network of intersecting and overlapping communities. Different groups of people get together for different purposes, and membership to multiple groups is perfectly acceptable. The people I attend seance with are different from the people I celebrate the Sabbats with. Other groups get together to participate in ghost hunts and other paranormal research activities. Another group gets together to do house blessings and cleansings. People gather and regroup based on common interests and everyone pretty much finds what they're looking for.

The friendships that grow out of this kind of networking are amazing. Indeed, most of the activities of these various groups allows for and encourages such bonds of affection. There's no occasion too serious that an appropriate bit of humor can't slip in, and the sharing of each others' lives becomes a natural result of working together.

Of course, a discussion of Pagan community isn't complete without a discussion of the local New Age shop. Such a shop (and even multiple shops) is usually at the center of such a community. This is because in addition to selling helpful merchandise, these shops also tend to serve as learning centers and community centers. They often offer classes, workshops, and seminars in an array of subjects. They often also provide space for other covens, groups, and organizations to post notices about their activities. Indeed, once a lucky Pagan finds such a shop, they usually have the resources they need to find anything or anyone they need.

Of course, there's a lot more I could say about Pagan community. After all, there's also festivals, conferences, and many other events. And of course there's the common problems that come up in Pagan communities (no, we're not a utopian society any more than the rest of society). I suspect I may do more posts in the future. But hopefully this gives you a glance into my community.

Recently, a principal in South Carolina recently announced he was resigning over the establishment of a GSA at his school. His reasoning (thanks to BlackTsunami for the quote) is as follows:

"The formation of this club conflicts with my professional beliefs in that we do not have other clubs at Irmo High school based on sexual orientation, sexual preference, or sexual activity. In fact our sex education curriculum is abstinence based. [JH comments: I'll try to leave aside the question of how saying "don't have sex" qualifies as "education" for now.] I feel the formation of a Gay/Straight Alliance Club at Irmo High school implies that students joining the club will have chosen to or will choose to engage in sexual activity with members of the same sex, opposite sex, or members of both sexes.

To be honest, this is not a new argument. I've seen many anti-gay people refer to GSA's as "sex clubs." It's as if the only thing that they can imagine kids doing during a GSA meeting is discussing (or worse, having) sex. I suppose this shouldn't be surprising, as anti-gay people seem to get hung up on that whole sex thing themselves, so they automatically assume gay people are equally hung up on it.

However, in the case of a GSA, I can only assume that people making such an assumption have never actually talked to a gay teen. Quite frankly, there are a lot of other things that fall pretty high on the list of things they need to talk about. Let's just run down a partial list:

1. Concerns over how they're going to meet their ideal boyfriend or girlfriend when they're already limited to 2-3% of the population as even remote possibilities. (Hey, I'm in my thirties and sometimes I worry about that one.)


2. Concerns about how their parents will react. (Even gay-affirming parents can be taken aback when their own child comes out to them.)


3. Concerns of how to deal with teasing, name-calling, and bullying from other classmates.


4. Concerns about how to safely figure out if you can tell the cute boy in gym class that you think he's cute without getting yourself beaten up in the process.


5. Concerns about dealing with people's strange and sometimes inappropriate questions.


6. Questions on what they can do to ensure a better life for themselves and other LGBT people.


7. Figuring out what their sexual orientation actually is. (Thanks for the suggestion, Rose)


8. Taking comfort in the knowledge they're not alone or the only one going through this. (Thanks for the suggestion, Erin.)

(Note: If any gay teens or gay adults who remember their teen years would like to suggest additions to this list, I'd be happy to keep it growing.

Quite frankly, there are a lot of things to talk about when it comes to being gay, especially when you're young and life in general is confusing and uncertain. So this idea that gay kids are just going to sit around discussing sex or hooking up to have sex is so far from reality that it's not even in the same universe.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that the topic of sex won't ever come up. (Heck, I'm not even saying that no kids will ever meet at a GSA meeting and decide to enter into a sexual relationship.) We're talking about teens with raging hormones and lots of questions, after all. But at the same time, I think these discussions are more likely to focus on the kinds of things that should've been covered in a decent sex ed class, anyway. (You know, one that says more than "don't have sex.") Like any other kid, they're going to want to know about health risks. And they might even want to know about where and how love and sex might intersect. They're not going to be looking for a how-to manual. (If that's all they wanted, they could jump on their favorite P2P network and download a couple dozen videos.)

And ultimately, I think this is where those who oppose the formation of a GSA do both the children and their own ideals a great disservice. A GSA provides an opportunity for adult involvement in such discussion. It provides an opportunity for discussions about ethics, responsibility, and many other topics. It provides an opportunity to offer guidance and provide proper role models.

The problem is, anti-gay people automatically assume that there are no ethics involved in same sex relationships. They think there's no such thing as a good gay role model. They think homosexuality is nothing more than a den of complete depravity.

The problem is, their actions only serve to create that reality they think already exists. In the end, they're part of the problem.

For the past few years, Fred Clark over at Slacktivist has been doing an in-depth critique of the book Left Behind by LeHay and Jenkins. I began to read through this review about a month ago and have enjoyed Clark's analysis, which has covered literary, theological (Clark himself is an evangelical Christian), and political perspectives alike.

Yesterday, I ran across this installment, where Clark takes a step back from the book's plotlines to discuss one of the concepts touched upon by the book, evangelism, in a broader context. Primarily, he speaks of a shift from evangelism as hospitality to evangelism as a sales pitch, expanding upon a familiar (or at least familiar to anyone who's been involved in the evangelical Christian community) metaphor:

...it is not "one beggar telling another beggar where he found bread," but rather one fat man trying to convince another fat man that he's a beggar in order to close the sale on another loaf.

The rest of of the post goes on to talk about how this approach to evangelism amounts to a sales pitch with little or no product to go with it (in fact, the title of my post references another great comment made by Clark). I highly recommend reading the whole post, as it's quite insightful.

Today I was tagged by Erin to participate in the Six Word Memoir meme.

The Rules
1. Write the title to your own memoir using 6 words.
2. Post it on your blog.
3. Link to the person that tagged you.
4. Tag five more blogs.

My Title
Passions and Reflections from Sacred Groves

Tags
I hereby declare my intent to be a rulebreaker. I tag no one. If you read this and want to play, tag yourself on my behalf.

Yesterday, I learned from fellow blogger Benton Quest that this month is National Masturbation Month.

Feel free to have a bit of fun in the comments with this topic, but try not to let things get too out of hand. ;)

This past weekend was a bit interesting. I received friend requests over on MySpace from a couple of people from around my old hometown. I have no idea who the one was, as he's twelve years my junior. However, the other one was someone I graduated from high school with. Needless to say, I was quite surprised, especially when you consider we weren't what I'd consider friends. Granted, we weren't enemies, either. It's more a case that we simply traveled in different circles.

Being contacted by people from my old hometown is always an awkard experience for me. I'm practically a completely different person now than the person who attended school all those years ago. And I'm never entirely sure how people will react to the changes.

Granted, I suspect that many would find the fact that I'm no longer Christian (or at least no longer a goody-two-shoes Christian bordering on self-righteousness) a pleasant change. I was very much a stick in the mud back then, and had no problems speaking up when the occasion to do so arose. So in that respect, I think many would take the fact that I "mellowed" as a good sign.

But all the same, we're talking about a rather rural part of Pennsylvania. So I'm not always sure how well my being a witch or being gay will be received. Especially the latter, as I still recall some of the reactions to the idea someone might be gay when I was in high school. I think that could still make for an interesting and even tense conversation today.

Of course, I also have to admit that some of my concerns stem from an experience a few years ago when someone I went to college with contacted me after we hadn't seen or spoken with each other in seven years. Basically, she came whirling into my life and flipped out when she discovered that I had developed a stronger set of boundaries in my relationships. (And we never got into my change in religion or my sexual orientation, which would've equally flipped her out.)

Reunions can be so unexpected and more than a little unnerving.