October 2008 Archives

The topic of love has been on my mind a lot, lately. (For those who know me, that should come as no surprise.) I've done a great deal of thinking about what it means to love someone and what love really is. I think that one of the most profound explanations of love can be found over at Fr. Geoff's blog today. The following is an excerpt from the wedding homily he posted:

It is true, there are very powerful feelings deeply intertwined with love; however, love is far more than merely a "feeling". Love is a choice. A choice made in freedom. To place another human being and his/her needs on par with your own and perhaps, even above your own. A beautiful example of this can be found in the persons of your parents who are here with you today. There were many times, during your infancy, when one of them got up out of a warm bed in the middle of the night to take care of your needs. There were countless times, when the alarm clock sounded and they got up out of bed and went to work so, that you'd have a plate at the table, a roof over your head and clothes on your back. That's love. Nothing fancy. Just ordinary people who chose to be there with and for each other. To help shoulder the burdens of life and, to share its joys and laughter. In the first letter of John (4:16) it states: God is love and those who abide in love abide in God and God in them. In the book of Genesis (1:26) it states that God made us in his image. When we chose to love, it is at precisely that moment, that we most perfectly reflect the image of God in our world. It is at that very moment when we are at our best, our most noble. It is no small thing that causes you to speak these words here today and to enter into marriage.

While Fr. Geoff and I may disagree on many theological points (some fine and some more fundamental), there is much on the topic of love where we can find some common ground. To me, love is all about doing those little things to help, support, and bring out the best in the person I love. It's about providing a listening ear when they need to talk, a shoulder to bury their face in when they need to cry, or some chicken noodle soup when they're sick.

But why do we do these things? Why do we make the choice that Fr. Geoff writes about? Is that were the feelings come in? To some degree, that's the case. The feelings I have for someone definitely contributes to my desire to support, care for, and otherwise nurture them. But I think it goes beyond that, too.

I think that we often do this for the sake of love itself. I'm not talking about some sort of enlightened self-interest where we do these things in the hopes or with the expectation that the other person will do the same for us. (Though we all have those hopes, and I don't think they're inherently bad.) But there is something powerful in expressing love itself. To love and care for another brings out the best in us, something we desire to see and manifest. Once we allow that kind of virtue manifest through us, there is a certain sense of joy, which encourages us to do so again.

As I think of love and its expressions, I also think of fellow blogger Pam Hogeweide and her vigilante quest to discover, explore, and celebrate the ordinary. To me, the acts that most perfectly express love are firmly rooted in the "ordinary" life she (rightfully) finds underappreciated. But the thing is, it's that love which fills those "ordinary" acts with the extraordinary. Giving a tired and achy loved one a much-needed backrub may be an "ordinary" action, but the love behind that act is far from ordinary. It's a gift shining from the very core of one's soul. And that makes it incredible.

Love is truly one of the greatest myteries of life.

The curtain closed on the final performance of ROTO 3 this afternoon. I'm both happy and sad that it's over. All three performances were fantastic, and it was fun to help out with the tables out front.

I hope to say more later. But for now, I think it's time to get some rest.

This afternoon, I decided to go to the psychic fair at the Henrietta Holiday Inn. While there, I decided to get an aura portrait reading (that's where the psychic sketches the colors in your aura and explain what they mean and how it's affecting your life) by one of the people there. The theme of my reading was that I need to begin working more on integrating my spirituality into the rest of my life. This wasn't a surprising message, because I've been getting it from different angles. In fact, over the past couple of weeks, I'd say the gods have gotten more aggressive about this message. In fact, I think they've gotten to the point where they're basically saying "do this or we're going to do it for you."

For example, a couple Saturdays ago, Marina invited myself and Rudi (a former dancer in the company) to come to her home for lunch after the beginner's jazz dance class. While there, I mentioned that I had to run to Psychic's Thyme at some point that afternoon. Of course, the other two asked me what that was, so I told them. I ended up telling them about my spiritual interests, which fascinated both of them. I ended up telling them about a couple of my experiences with seeing spirits (to my credit, I'm getting better at being open about the fact that I'm developing my abilities as a medium). By the end of the discussion, they both decided they want me to give them a reading after next Saturday's class. And Marina has gone on to tell at least one other person (a student in her intermediate class) associated with the company about my interests. I suspect that by the time she's done, everyone in or associated with the company will know. Hopefully, they're all as open-minded as Marina and Rudi were. (Actually, I'll be happy as long as no one tries to perform an exorcism on me.)

The second example of this came during this past week. When I got a break from work, I decided to quickly check my site stats for this blog. While checking them out, I discovered that someone visited my site from work on Thursday afternoon. I was quite surprised by this, and quickly confirmed that it wasn't a visit I made myself. As I dug into this (I even downloaded the server logs for that day so I could check the parts of my domain that my two Sitemeter accounts don't cover), I discovered that my visitor must have found my site at least somewhat fascinating. While they read only a couple of archives and two individual posts from this blog, they also visited my Dear Lover, Journey (I guess I'm out at work now!), my main site, and my photo albums.

I'm not sure how they found my site. The logs indicate there was no referring site, which suggests they typed the address in directly. I asked the two people at work who I thought it could be, but they admitted that they didn't even know I had my own website. So I'm completely mystified. I really don't care that someone from work read it all. They didn't really find out anything I'm trying to hide. (I'm smart enough to avoid posting anything I want to keep secret.) Though I do hope that they talk to me about it at some point. I'd like to know who it was, especially considering the significant amount of surfing they did.

So yeah, it would seem that everything in my life is coming together. I think I'm okay with that, though. I'm just a bit shell-shocked.

After nearly a month long silence, I decided it's finally time to write here again. I apologize for being gone so long. However, life made it necessary. To be honest, between the fact that I've been too busy at work to do much writing and the fact that what I had to write about were things I'm not comfortable sharing publicly, the lengthy silence was necessary.

Of course, I'm still somewhat busy, and not just because of work. My activities with Park Avenue Dance Company are taking up a great deal of my time. I believe that I mentioned that starting this Fall, I'd be taking three classes a week there. True to form, I am now in the Tuesday evening Beginner's Contemporary class, the Wedensday evening Floor-Barre Plus class, and the Saturday morning Beginner's Jazz class. That means that I'm spending between three and a half and four hours dancing every week. Who needs a gym membership with that kind of exercise?

The jazz class is going quite well, though I have a lot to learn. Marina has been quite patient with me, homing in on my need to learn to shift my weight and regain my balance quickly. Fortunately, it's a very small class, so I'm getting a lot of personal attention (and harassment). It's worth every moment, believe me.

However, my involvement with the dance company has moved beyond taking classes and attending performances. After the September performance at ArtisanWorks, Christine took me aside and asked me if I'd be willing to join the board of directors for the company. I agreed, and I attended my first board meeting last Wednesday.

This means that in addition to learning to dance (and getting in better shape), I'm now beginning to spend time trying to sell tickets (are any of my readers interested in buying?) to and otherwise promote ROTO 3, which is coming up in just under three weeks.

So far, I just sold one ticket. However, I'm hoping to sell one or two more at the end of the week. And I have another possible sale, but the person needs to wait until the event is closer to verify she has the money for it. Hopefully, as I work through my friends, I'll sell more. Char has also been kind enough to let me put up a poster at the shop to generate interest. Hopefully, a few ticket sales will result in the process.

I'm also working with another board member to coordinate our attempts to get ROTO on various community calendars in the area. I'm also hoping to get a mention -- if not a brief talk -- on either radio or television. (If not, I'm hoping to at least make the necessary contacts to make such a possibility a reality for next year.) I'm hoping that helping with getting the word out there will make up for the fact that I don't have a lot of friends in the area to whom I can directly sell tickets. ;)

Life is great, but crazy and busy. And to think, I still have to squeeze my day job into the picture.