November 2008 Archives

Last Tuesday evening, a woman working one of the kiosks stopped me while I was headed out of the mall. She asked me if she could ask me a question, and I foolishly answered in the affirmative. She ended up grabbing my right thumb and began to work on it with the "miracle three step nail smoother and polisher" she was trying to sell. So she spent three to four minutes going through her lengthy spiel (which I admit was quite entertaining) while she smoothed, buffed, and shined my thumbnail. When she was done, she had me hold my thumbs side by side and compare the nails. Sure enough, my right thumbnail was much shinier, smoother, and nicer to look at. Of course, at this point, the woman encouraged me to buy the whole nail care package she was offering for $40. (When I said no, she offered to go as low as $25.)

The woman made one critical error in her pitch. She was trying to convince me to buy the kit for my sister or my mother. (We had already established the fact that I'm single by the close of her spiel.) It never once occurred to her that I might like to have smooth, shiny nails. In fact, I would encourage anyone selling any sort of "beauty product" to never overlook the possibility that the man you're talking to is either a metrosexual or a gay man. (Okay, in the latter case, it also helps if said gay man also happens to be a bit on the "girly" side.) Had she managed to appeal to my own sense of vanity, she might have made the sale.

As it turns out, she made a sale for Wal-Mart instead. As I walked away looking at my shiny thumbnail and thinking I really did like the way it looked, it occurred to me that just about any department store probably carries a similar product. So today after lunch, I wandered off to Wal-Mart and looked through their nail care aisle. Sure enough, I found a similar three-step tool for working on my nails. (They had a seven-step tool as well, but that just seemed way to complicated for me. I'm not that vain -- at least not yet.) And the silly thing cost me $1.05 rather than $25.

Granted, the $25 kit the woman tried to sell me had much more in it. But she didn't really demonstrate or otherwise do a good job of selling the rest of the kits contents. So I got just what I was looking for and did so inexpensively.

As soon as I got home, I gave my new toy a try. I actually think my nails turned out pretty well. They're not perfect, and I suspect that's because I need a bit more practice (and patience) to get everything just right. But they certainly look better than they did.

And there's just something about making my nails look nice that makes me feel good about myself. I guess it's a pampering thing.

I went to Tilt again tonight. After I had been there for about ten or fifteen minutes, this guy walks over to me and starts dancing with me. I just about fainted.

Granted, he only danced with me for about thirty seconds before he retreated back to the safety of his buddies. And he never approached me again the rest of the night. But it was still a pleasant surprise -- and quite an ego boost.

more animals

Be still. Know beauty. Let it flow from the depths of your soul. For that is its source. Let it flow through you into the rest of the world. Let it flow and watch as it is reflected back at you.

This is the nature of beauty. It is perceived and projected. it can only be seen by those who allow it to come from themselves. There is as much beauty in the word as you put into it.

Those who say beauty is transitory are wrong. Beauty is eternal, for it is an essence that flows into and through the cosmos. What is transitory is your own willingness to see it.

One of the projects I worked on today was to describe what I would want to do on a first date if I was planning it. I decided to post it here and see what my readers thought.

For me, the first date is all about getting to know each other and making that first connection. It sets the first stone in the foundation of the rest of the relationship.

For me, that means going someplace quiet and somewhat intimate where we can have either coffee or a full meal. Atmosphere is of the utmost importance, so someplace like Boulder Coffee Company or The Old Toad (before the rush sets in) would be ideal. We would sit and chat for an hour or so as we sipped at our coffee or savored our meals, allowing the thread of conversation to flit to whatever topics came naturally.

If things went well and it was warm enough outside, we would then take a short walk, perhaps a Schoen place or in one of the parks around the city. Ideally we would hold hands or walk arm-in-arm, enjoying the time outdoors and each other's company.

Conversation would continue during the walk, but it would be a little more sparse than it was at dinner. There would also be some comfortable silences as we walked along, taking in our surroundings. After all, such moments are important, and a good couple knows how to appreciate them without filling them with too much chatter.

If bad weather made walking infeasible, then we would take in a nice concert or play. Again, this would be a time to enjoy some quiet moments one another, becoming comfortable with and enjoying one another's presence.

In either case, we would eventually end the date, preferably with a quiet moment where we could exchange our goodbyes and a hug, if not a tender kiss.

So, what do you think? Would you enjoy such a date?

Last night, I decided to go dancing at Tilt. I haven't been dancing in over a year, so I thought it was time. I forgot just how much I enjoy it. I think I'm going to start going more often.

Of course, part of the reason I don't go very often is that as of yet, I really don't seem to have any friends who are into going dancing. This means going alone. As a shy guy and bonafide introvert, it's always been intimidating to go by myself. But last night, I actually enjoyed it and didn't mind the fact that I didn't know anyone. So perhaps that's changing.

Of course, the last time I went to Tilt, I also felt awkward because it seemed like a much younger crowd. With the exception of a few of us thirty-somethings (and one rather awesome older gentleman), everyone seemed to still be in college. I noticed, however, that there seemed to be a much better mix last night. Certainly there were still the college kids there (you know, the ones that make you feel like you need to ask for proof of age before you even dare talk to them), there were also a good number of us older folks too. So that made it a more comfortable atmosphere. I'm not sure if it was because I went a bit later this time or what, but it was a nice change.

I also have to say that I was pleasantly surprised when someone pinched my ass as they passed by me. It was a bit disappointing when I realized the "offending" culprit was a woman, however. But hey, for that moment, it was an exciting thought.

Of course, now I'm stiff and tired. But at least I had fun. I think I'll be going again next Saturday night. In fact, I'm seriously going a couple times a month. I need that sort of thing.

Just a bit of short fiction for a change in pace.

The crescent moon rode high in the sky as Lukas approached the old cemetery. He softly padded through the grass, carrying a shovel over his left shoulder. He avoided the stone path, not wanting to make the slightest sound. One of his sources told him that this graveyard still had a caretaker on duty at night. All accounts indicated that the man who filled the job was old and probably would never see or hear the grave robber. But Lukas wanted to take no chances.

Once he made his way past the first row of tombstones, Lukas began to wave among the markers, bending near the more worn ones to read them. He had compiled a list of names of wealthy people who had been buried here between two and three centuries ago. He knew that graves dug for members of those family at that time held the most promise for obtainable booty.

After ten minutes, the grave robber smiled at the tombstone he had just read. It bore the name Anselm, a name that was high on his list. He took a step back, put the blade of his shovel to the ground a few feet from the headstone, and stepped on it to drive the shovel into the dirt. He then pried the shovel and dirt from the ground.

He was about to repeat this process when he heard a low, gravelly voice behind him. “I do hope that you are digging your own grave. It will save others the trouble of doing it for you.” Lukas spun around to confront the undertaker, only to receive the shock of his life. He stood frozen, his mouth slightly ajar as he stared into the crimson eyes of a dragon.

The creature’s scales were black with a slight sheen. The dragon’s hide seemed to blend into the blackness of night, only betrayed by the moonlight glinting off it. After a few seconds of shock, the wyrm spoke again, “Well? What do you have to say for yourself?”

At that, Lukas took several scurrying steps backwards, falling over the tombstone in the process. Both he and his shovel fell to the ground, each making a soft thudding sound. “Be careful, you fool!” the dragon hissed. “You almost broke the oldest marker in this cemetery.”

Lukas finally found his voice, though it was strained and tenuous. “W-what are you?”

“I should think that is obvious.”

“What do you want?”

“At the moment, I want to know why you’re seeking to disturb my treasures.”

“Your treasures?” Lukas asked. His brain wheeled in fright and confusion.”

“Yes, my treasures. This graveyard is their home. Not all dragons hoard their treasures in caves, no matter what the story books say.”

“I…see…Are you going to kill me, now?”

“The thought has crossed my mind. I don’t take kindly to grave robbers.”

“Please don’t!”

The dragon sniffed derisively. Lukas watched as a small stream of smoke escaped each nostril. “I don’t see why I shouldn’t. You were trespassing. You invaded my home. An you were about to disturb my treasures.”

“I didn’t know it was your home!”

“I don’t see why that should matter. You were still someplace you do not belong attempting to take something you have no right to.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry you were caught. And you’re sorry that the consequences of being caught may be dire. But you’re not sorry for doing wrong.”

“Please! I beg you!” Lukas cried, more terrified.

The beast sighed. “Oh, very well. I will spare you this time. But do not return, or I shall devour you without a second thought!”

“Yes! Yes! I promise I will never return! I’ll never rob another grave!”

The dragon snorted. “I should hope not! Now be gone!”

Lukas leaped up and ran towards his home, never looking back.

---

Another figure stepped from the shadows as the grave robber fled. The dragon spoke, not turning to greet this new presence. “And how long have you been watching.”

“I arrived just in time to hear you scold the young man for tripping over the tombstone. By the way, you surely realize that it’s not the oldest tombstone here.”

“Of course I know! But for some reason, that statement always puts them more on edge.”

“Ah, then the dramatics of terror outweigh accuracy.”

“Only when it comes to protecting my treasures.”

“You realize he’ll tell everyone in town about meeting you, right?” The old man asked after a moment’s pause.

“Yes.”

“And you realize that some will come out here some night to check it out for themselves?”

“They usually do.”

“I didn’t think you liked nosy people any more than you liked grave robbers.”

“I don’t. But at least they’re less of a disturbance. Besides, I felt I needed to make my point as strongly as possible with this one.”

“Fair enough.” The caretaker paused. “Of course, you also realize that he probably now thinks there’s even more gold and jewelry here than he had first imagined, right?”

“So you figure he assumed I consider such trinkets my treasures?”

“Well, that would be in line with the story books.”

The dragon sniffed at that. “You humans are so foolish. Well, if he thinks such nonsense, then so be it.”

The caretaker chuckled. “Yes, I suppose so. But it’s late and I’m tired. So I’ll leave you to your horde of souls and the collective wisdom entombed here.”

“Very well, old friend. Good night.”

“Good night to you, as well.” With that, the old man began the walk to his home on the far side of the cemetery. The dragon watched him for a few moments before fading away.

After dance class tonight, I decided to stop at Equal Grounds for a chai latte and to say hi to friends. I doubt I was there a half hour even. The place was too crowded for my tastes. So I left as soon as I was done.

On my way out of the coffee shop, I passed this young man -- I'd guess he's in his early twenties -- and two female friends. As I walked past him to turn the corner, he started singing.

He was quite good, and based on the fact that he said something about an audition, I suspect he might be a music major or even a professional singer. Now, I'm a sucker for anyone who expresses artistic talent of any sort, and especially musicians. So as I heard him start to sing, I turned around, leaned against the building, and listened to him belt out a lovely melody.

About ten seconds into the song, he realized I was standing there. He did something of a double take, waved with a nervous smile, and turned his attention back to his friends, never wavering or pausing. (Like I said, he's quite a good vocalist.) After he finished his song, I waited for a break in his conversation with his two friends, and told him he had a great voice. He thanked me, and I turned to resume my walk to my car.

Like I said, I think I surprised him by stopping, and even speaking to him. But I figure if you have a talented voice and you choose to sing on a public sidewalk -- even just for friends -- you have to expect people to stop and listen. It only makes sense we're going to.

Especially if you're also downright adorable.

As a rule, I don't discuss politics on my blog. This is for a number of reasons. One reason is that I've seen too many flame wars and petty fights masquerading as political discussions online. I don't want to join in on that sort of thing. Furthermore, I do not consider myself educated enough, sufficiently informed, or savvy enough to give the kind of legitimate, high quality political discussion that you might find on a site like Positive Liberty. So I figure I'm too good for the childishness and not good enough for serious political discussion. There's just no place for a "middle-grounder" like me.

Besides, as a rule, I prefer to focus on other aspects of life. In many ways, I think that Jack Handy had it right when he jokingly suggested that the word "politics" comes from the words "poly" -- meaning "many" -- and "ticks" -- meaning "blood sucking creatures. To be honest, watching this year's election races -- both national and local -- I'm inclined to take Handy's comment as a joke that barely hides a serious point. So I'd rather write about more local things and personal action, like loving people and touching individual lives. Besides, it fits my nature as a simple guy.

However, given that it is election day for what many are calling the most historical presidential election, I'll offer my meager opinions and say that I indeed voted. I doubt it needs to be said, but in the presidential race, I voted for Obama. I doubt anyone who reads my blog is surprised (though some may be disappointed or even disgusted). I'm not going to give a huge list of reasons for why I voted for him. If you want long, sound reasons, go check out Doxy's blog. Instead, I will simply say that in many ways, Obama represents what I believe is best for this country far better than McCain.

For those who would ask about third party candidates, I do not vote for third party candidates for a rule. Not because I think doing so would be a "waste" of my vote. (I think pulling the lever in general is a "waste" of my vote, but anyway.) I simply am not convinced I like any of the third party platforms. The Green Party has looked tempting to me at times, but I just haven't convinced myself to go with them. I barely hear anything about them, either, and am not even sure they had a candidate on my state's ballot.

I've also looked at the Libertarian party. In some ways, the Libertarians are appealing to me. But I can't get past what I feel are erroneous assumptions about the economy and markets. Fundamental to the Libertarian ideology is the belief that enlightened self-interest will convince corporations to "do the right thing" through the realization that doing the "wrong" thing will eventually hurt them. As corporations are run by human beings -- a species known for being short-sighted and doing wrong things despite knowing that those things will have consequences that are not in their best interest -- it's an idea I just can't accept.

So for now, I'm sticking with the imperfect major party that most closely matches my own ideals. And that meant voting for Obama.

I don't think Obama -- or any other candidate -- is perfect. I doubt he'll be able to deliver more than a tiny percentage of the hope and change he has promised. After all, he's just another man, a man with an perilous mountain to climb. But then, Obama isn't the first candidate to promise more than he can deliver. They all do it. To be hoenst, I doubt a candidate would ever make it past their first primary election if they only promised what they could reasonably expect to deliver once in office.

But I do think and hope that Obama will make some small steps towards positive change in our country. And at this point, I think that's the best I can hope for. So that's what I'm voting for.

I just also wish that I was in a state that was currently voting on a constitutional amendment to prevent marriage equality. I'm hoping that those who favor equality for all couples prevail in California, Arizona, and Florida.

MSNBC is reporting that an adult store chain is giving out free sex toys to voters:

The rewards are no-so-subtle reminders of this year’s campaign rhetoric. For men, it’s the “Maverick,” a "sleeve" for self-pleasuring. According to a press release, “He’s always there to lend a hand, he works for every man, and he bucks the status quo.” Women can choose the “Silver Bullet” mini-vibrator, which is “a magical solution to difficult problems” and “a great stress-reliever during these troubled economic times!” The promotion lasts through Nov. 11.

I have to admit that this is the most bizarre and most humorous "reward" I've heard of for doing one's civic duty. Then again, I suppose it also makes sense. I've often joked that the presidential election is merely the process by which we choose which party is going screw us for the next few years. At least Babeland is offering a consolation prize we can use to make it a more pleasurable experience for ourselves.

Hat tip: Greg

Be still. Hold your center. Even in your pain and disappointment, breathe deeply. Relish the emotions. For even this dark side of love -- yes, you can use that word -- is of me. Without the bittersweet, the joyous ecstasy could not exist.

Your feelings are a part of you, but they are not the totality of you. You are bigger than them, and they cannot consume you. So let them be. Embrace them. Love them, for they flow out of your pure, beautiful soul.

You are hurting. This is the way of love, especially unrequited love. But it will pass in time, and more joyous aspects of love with assume their place for a season.

Do not stop loving. Continue to love those who do not return it -- at least no in the way you'd like. They are still precious to you. Do not lose sight of that or you will lose yourself.

I am always with you. Love is always with you, for I am love, as are you. Be true to love, me, and yourself.

Wrapped in the darkness of night,
The Child sleeps soundly. Safely.
Spirits stand nearby, quietly watching,
Guarding the sleep of the innocent.

Wild forces revel in the distance,
Flitting about in wild abandon.
Their chaotic revelry does not disturb
The peaceful slumber of those protected.

The guardians stand at door and window,
Keeping vigil against all terrors
While the matrons offer their nurturing love
And the old men and women share wise counsel.

Through it all, their small charge sleeps,
Comforted by unseen forces.

Originally written 31 October 2008.