Recently in Around The Blogosphere Category

For the past month or two, I've been following the Bridging the Gap blog.  I've also been publicly commenting there and privately conversing with Wendy Gritter, the woman primarily behind the blog.  Wendy is a wonderful woman and I've been blessed with her friendship.

A while back, Wendy told me about a synchroblog that New Direction and the BTG Project are sponsoring on June 24.  The press release for the event describes the event as follows:

New Direction has been seeking to foster safe and generous space for authentic conversation about faith and sexuality. We have committed ourselves to building bridges. But we cannot do it alone. We need other Christ-followers: gay and straight and everything in between, to speak up and join the conversation, to share the heart of the gospel in the midst of this conflict. We need those beyond the walls of the church: gay and straight and everything in between, to speak up and join the conversation, to share their thoughts on how the church can reach across the divide and build bridges.

In light of her desire to get people of all walks of life to join in the conversation, Wendy has asked me to participate in this synchroblog.  As a friend and someone who believes that this dialogue is an important one, I have graciously (at least I hope I've been gracious about it) accepted her invitation.  I would like to invite any of my other readers -- regardless of sexual orientation or religious persuasion -- to also participate in this event.  It's only through the addition of a multitude of voices that a real dialogue -- or rather a harmony of related dialogues -- can emerge.

Some may wonder why I would choose to participate in such a dialogue or encourage others to do so.  After all, they reason, it's clear why Christians would wish to engage in this dialogue in order to gain converts -- though I personally do not believe that's the only reason Christians choose to enter into this dialogue.  But what possible reason could a non-Christian -- especially one who has been hurt by Christians in the past -- have for entering into such a dialogue?  What do I hope to gain from it?

Surprisingly, the question contains its own answer.  I choose to participate in this conversation because I've been hurt by Christians in the past.  To me, reconciliation is an important part of the healing process.  Conversing with Christians -- even Christians who theology and sexual ethics differ greatly for my own -- gives me another opportunity to make peace with my past.  It gives me the chance to realize that while I've been hurt in the past, other Christians really are decent and loving.  It also allows me to regain the love and dignity that was stolen from me by those past experiences.

Participating in such a dialogue also gives me the opportunity to tell my story and serve as a representative for all those others who still might be hurt by some Christians.  It enables me to raise some Christians' awareness of just how little it takes to create great pain for young people struggling with a sexual orientation that their friends, family, and church says is bad.  If offering my story will help one Christian better reach out to and support another gay person when they desperately need it, then my participation in this dialogue is well worth it.

I also wish to participate in such a dialogue because that gay person sitting in the pew may need to hear my voice and know my story.  Sadly, far too many Christians have a very stereotypical understanding of gay people.  Too often, being gay is equated with having multiple sexual partners, abusing drugs and alcohol, and engaging in several other destructive behaviors.  And while I do not deny that some gay people do engage in these and other behaviors, it is not as universal as some Christians might believe or pretend that it is.  As a well-adjusted -- in my opinion at least -- gay man with relatively healthy sexual ethics, my participation in dialogue with Christians serves as an opportunity to demonstrate first-hand that gay men like me exist.  Coming to the table provided by folks like Wendy provides me with an opportunity to demonstrate to conflicted gay Christians with evidence that they have more choices than the dismal options that others have painted for them.  (And I admit that I admire the integrity, confidence, and grace of people like Wendy who are willing to give me that opportunity despite their own desire to see people make a different choice than the one I have in regards to sexuality.)

Finally, I choose to participate in such a dialogue because in the end, it is in my best interests to do so.  To be honest, there are many Christians -- including Christians who believe that people should not get involved in same-sex romantic relationships -- that are in my life.  These people are my friends, my coworkers, and my family members.  They are not going to change their beliefs any time soon, nor are they going to disappear from my life anytime soon.  So I can either choose to live a life where we are distant from one another and suspicious of each other.  Or I can choose to enter into dialogue in an attempt to find mutual understanding and a better sense of peace despite our differences.

To me, the choice is obvious.

(The images in this post were provided by Wendy Gritter and used with her express permission.)

As regular readers of my blog may know, I'm a huge fan of Seething Mom. So when she wrote a glowing review of the writings of Misty Sayoko Irons, I had to check it out for myself.

Particularly, I was curious to discover what caused Misty to start a site about homosexuality and the Bible. I suppose one might wonder why I'd look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth like that. After all, we queers can use all the pro-gay supporters we can find. However, I have to admit that I'm a naturally curious person when it comes to people's backstories. Understanding how one's past affect's one's present day choices is always someting that fascinates me. So I began looking for Ms. Irons's story. I had just about given up and was getting ready to find a polite and friendly way to email her an inquiry when I finally noticed what I was looking for two thirds of the way down the navigation bar on her site. So I clicked on the link and read about her experiences with two neighbors, Gregg and Joel.

Let me just say that it is well worth the search, as her experiences with these two men and the painful self-realizations that those experiences caused her were touching. Indeed, I'd encourage anyone who reads the story (and I highly encourage everyone to do so) to make sure they have some tissues on hand.

What truly touches me about Ms. Irons's story is the raw honesty of it. She unabashedly admits how little she knew about gay issues at the time, as well as how badly she misjudged the lives and personal choices of Gregg and Joel at the time. She doesn't even try to rationalize these things or makes excuses for them. Indeed, by the end of the tale, I felt as though she was entirely being too hard on herself.

However, more important, this story and the rest of the site also tells of the kind of woman the author really is. This is a woman who is not only willing to admit when she's been wrong, but she's willing to do something about it. This is a woman who not only acknowledges her preconceived notions, but actively makes an effort to correct them when necessary. And for that, I applaud her. And for that, I'm thankful that I can consider her a supporter.

Of course, I also find myself admitting that she makes an excellent role model as well as a supporter. After all, evangelical Christians and straight people aren't the only ones who have their preconceived notions. After all, I know more than one gay person (and I've been guilty of it myself) or supporter who has come to prejudge all evangelical Christians. When we meet one, we tend to expect certain reactions out of them and even mentally prepare ourselves for our own "stock responses" to them even before they actually happen. I even remember some of my evangelical friends from my past -- people I had known for years -- rightfully calling me on making assumptions about how they would treat me. And these weren't people who I just met. These are true friends, people I should've known better than to make such assumptions about.

Now certainly, I can make excuses for myself as well as the rest of us. Certainly, I can argue that we've had plenty of bad experiences with evangelical Christians. I can rationalize that because of this, it's perfectly natural for us to assume much the same treatment in similar situations. And there's a certain logic to that which is undeniable. But that doesn't make it any more right. So to Ms. Irons, I say thank you for setting the example. You made no excuses, and I will endeavor to follow in your footsteps.

Ms. Irons also has a blog, which I will be sure to add to both my blogroll and my news aggregator.