Recently in Community Category

Next month, I will be participating in the annual Walk to Cure Diabetes.  This is a fund-raising  event held by various chapters of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.  It's a great way to raise money, and I'm excited to do my part this year.

The Rochester chapter of JDRF has set a regional goal of $747,000 this year, and I currently have my personal goal set at $100.  Of course, since I'm already more than halfway there, I may have to increase my personal goal.

Diabetes has touched my life and my family in many different ways, and I would love nothing more than to see researchers find a cure for it.  The fact that scientists are making some rather hopeful predictions -- that we may see a cure in our lifetimes even -- is exciting, and I look forward to walking and raising money to fund the research during this exciting time.  If any of my readers are able to spare even a few dollars, a donation would be greatly appreciated.  Donations can be made on my fund-raising page, and I have added a linked image to the sidebar of my blog.

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• Researchers use novel nanoparticle vaccine to cure type 1 diabetes in mice (scienceblog.com)
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A few years ago, I participated in a discussion about Wiccan devotions on an email list that focused on British Traditional Wicca.  One of the elders (I forget which tradition) commented that just about any act can become an act of devotion simply by keeping in mind the Wiccan Mysteries.  It's something that's stuck with me, and I tend to see things the same way, understanding that an act of devotion is about perception as much as it's about carrying out any particular activity or procedure.  And in many ways, I tend to see worship (which I'm not sure I see as entirely distinct from devotion anyway) in much the same way.  After all, I'm constantly reminded of my paragraph from The Charge of the Goddess:

Let My worship be within the heart that rejoices,
for behold, all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals.
Therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion,
honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.

So to me, anything which brings to mind beauty, compassion, reverence, or any of the other virtues mentioned is an act of worship.  Any situation that brings about rejoicing and good cheer is an act of worship in my mind.  And if I meet another person and as a result we share these virtues and that rejoicing with each other, that is a moment where we have joined together in worship.

I've been thinking of this due to a conversation a couple of us had over on Matt's post about "going to church."  As part of the discussion, I suggested that if a small group of believers ran into each other at the grocery story, that might be considered "church happening."  Scott disagreed:

I get what Jared is saying, and I appreciate the intent, but this is not church. Three people randomly meeting at a grocery store are not gathered to communal bear witness to the risen Jesus through worship and service.

Personally, I offered my own disagreement with Scott:

Why not? Can't service and worship happen anywhere and spontaneously? Isn't the act of just meeting and showing each other Christian love an act of worship? After all, didn't Christ himself say that people would know his followers by how they loved one another? And once those people meet so "randomly," what opportunities for service might they find in that "random" moment? Perhaps they can help the elderly woman who's trying to make her way through the crowded produce aisle. Perhaps they can help the overly-tired mother with three very active children do her shopping.

And therein lies my point. I think it's important to see ANY gathering of believers -- no matter how random or unplanned -- as church simply because ANY such situation can lead to communal service and worship. And I'll be so bold as to suggest that not recognizing each such moment as such simply blinds one to the opportunities such a moment might actually offer.

Maybe my point is moot.  Maybe Christian theology simply doesn't support my basic assumptions.  (Christians will have to decide (a) if that's the case and (b) whether that's a good thing or a bad thing if it's not.)  However, from my perspective, it only makes sense.  Where more than one person meet, see the sacredness in each other and in the sharing of lives, loves, joys, and sorrows, worship can and will take place.

And I'd like to think that, as I mentioned, such a mentality does offer a chance for service.  Going through each moment of life with this attitude tends to make one more aware of opportunities to help others and touch lives.  Certainly, they might be small ways to do so.  But who says you have to do something big for it to count?

As I mentioned in the discussion in Matt's blog, anything less than this mentality suggests to me a compartmentalization of sacred experience and sacred living.  Community -- even religious community -- doesn't happen at special events.  It's heartbeat lives in every moment lived, at least to those of us who take the time to listen for it.

To do otherwise would strike me as, well, irreligious.

Pax posted an entry today talking about building Pagan community.  It's well worth reading, and I highly recommend checking out.  (I also recommend checking out Pax's blog in general.)

As one or two of my recent entries may have indicaed, the thought of community has been on my mind a lot, so Pax's post really rang home with me.  I especially appreciated the following comments that he made when discussing the nature of Paganism:

I would observe that for the different Pagan faiths and paths there seems to be an overall theme of development into being a better person (personal growth and perhaps enlightenment, although it is not neccesarilly phrased as such) by practicing certain rights, and developing our relationships with the Divine (or the All That Is) and with the Spirits of the World Around Us (Elements and Land Spirits), and living certain  (intertwining and overlapping) virtues and values, and by building our relationships with others in our groups and faiths and societies through those virtues and values and practices...[Emphasis mine]

I'd say that overall, Pax pretty well sums up many of the central themes unfolding as I follow my own spiritual path.  But lately, it's that last part -- the part I emphasized -- that has really been waying on me.  There is an aspect to my spirituality that is very dependent on my connection to others and my place in community.

In the past, I've explored the theme of passion and living life to the fullest, which is another important aspect of my walk.  To be frank, with a patron goddess like Freyja, it's kind of hard not to take a passionate, fully-involved view of life.  And in some ways, I see this concern with community as a natural outgrowth of such an approach to life.  After all, the people we interact play an important part in our lives and are often an integral part of enjoying it to the fullest.

I think it's safe to say that most of us are not hermits or recluses.  I know I'm certainly not one.  (Indeed, over the past few years, I've discovered just how much of a people person I really am.)  As such, while we may need, enjoy, and even cherish our moments alone, our lives would not be complete without sharing our lives and many of the special moments with others.  Indeed, I would argue that time spent with others is what actually makes a significant number of those moments so special.

Community enables us to help, heal, strengthen, and rejuvenate each other.  It makes even the strongest individual even stronger.  It is that glue which enables us to build something that is greater than each of us -- both individually and collectively.  Because in the end, that whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

(The picture in this post is of the participants of an open Lammas rite sponsored by the now defunct Pagan Outreach Center back in 2006.)

 

Thread of golden light and red fire weave throughout the universe. the connect, intertwine, merge, and separate. This complex web hold everything together, binding and supporting it.

This is the web of wyrd, that runs through everything. It is not static, but fluid and ever-changing. Threads shift and reweave themselves, changing the tapestry and the very universe.

The very universe changes itself in this way. And as a part of it, you are an agent of this constant change. Each action, each choice alters the fabric of the universe, reconfiguring and recreating it.

This is why community is so important. Every individual's changes in the web radiate outward, affecting all. Being aware of this calls for consideration for all those around you who are affected.

More importantly, community allows for communal efforts in the weaving process. Building and strengthening community strengthens the strands that connect the community's members. It creates bonds that strengthen the whole web. And such community bonds allow for a greater reweaving of the web.

After nearly a month long silence, I decided it's finally time to write here again. I apologize for being gone so long. However, life made it necessary. To be honest, between the fact that I've been too busy at work to do much writing and the fact that what I had to write about were things I'm not comfortable sharing publicly, the lengthy silence was necessary.

Of course, I'm still somewhat busy, and not just because of work. My activities with Park Avenue Dance Company are taking up a great deal of my time. I believe that I mentioned that starting this Fall, I'd be taking three classes a week there. True to form, I am now in the Tuesday evening Beginner's Contemporary class, the Wedensday evening Floor-Barre Plus class, and the Saturday morning Beginner's Jazz class. That means that I'm spending between three and a half and four hours dancing every week. Who needs a gym membership with that kind of exercise?

The jazz class is going quite well, though I have a lot to learn. Marina has been quite patient with me, homing in on my need to learn to shift my weight and regain my balance quickly. Fortunately, it's a very small class, so I'm getting a lot of personal attention (and harassment). It's worth every moment, believe me.

However, my involvement with the dance company has moved beyond taking classes and attending performances. After the September performance at ArtisanWorks, Christine took me aside and asked me if I'd be willing to join the board of directors for the company. I agreed, and I attended my first board meeting last Wednesday.

This means that in addition to learning to dance (and getting in better shape), I'm now beginning to spend time trying to sell tickets (are any of my readers interested in buying?) to and otherwise promote ROTO 3, which is coming up in just under three weeks.

So far, I just sold one ticket. However, I'm hoping to sell one or two more at the end of the week. And I have another possible sale, but the person needs to wait until the event is closer to verify she has the money for it. Hopefully, as I work through my friends, I'll sell more. Char has also been kind enough to let me put up a poster at the shop to generate interest. Hopefully, a few ticket sales will result in the process.

I'm also working with another board member to coordinate our attempts to get ROTO on various community calendars in the area. I'm also hoping to get a mention -- if not a brief talk -- on either radio or television. (If not, I'm hoping to at least make the necessary contacts to make such a possibility a reality for next year.) I'm hoping that helping with getting the word out there will make up for the fact that I don't have a lot of friends in the area to whom I can directly sell tickets. ;)

Life is great, but crazy and busy. And to think, I still have to squeeze my day job into the picture.

I decided to get up this morning and attend the 10am service at the First Unitarian Church of Rochester NY. I had heard of it back when I first came to the Rochester area and had even learned approximately where it was. However, I had originally decided not to check it out.

That was largely due to my experiences at the UUA church back in Big Flats. Those experiences weren't negative in any sense. The people were friendly enough, as was the pastor. I got no sense that the leadership was abusive (spiritually or otherwise). In fact, I would be hard pressed to say anything disparaging about the church there. I'd even encourage those who are interested in that church to check it out for themselves.

So why did I quit going? It simply wasn't right for me. I have an idea of the kind of spirituality I'm looking for, and I didn't find it there. Instead, I found a number of services that included what were (in my opinion, at least) exercises in hyper-intellectualism. As I was looking for something more down-to-earth and applicable to real life, I just decided the services weren't for me.

In many ways, that was too bad. I actually liked the people there and would have considered socializing with them and building friendships. (Indeed, had I attended that church now, I might be willing to give it more time than I did back then for that very reason.) But spirituality-wise, I didn't find a good fit. And since that's what I was looking for at the time, I moved on.

To be honest (and I hope Tracie and any other UU readers won't hold this against me), that's generally been my impression of the UUA in general. UU's are great people, and I'd gladly have lengthy conversations with them, go on picnics with them, and generally just hang out. But as a rule, I just think that the UU is too loose and unfocused for the kind of worship I appreciate and look for.

However, when I was once again reminded of First Unitarian here in Rochester last week, I decided I might as well give it another try. After all, this is a different church. And I have grown as a person. So I convinced myself to set aside my skepticism and prejudices and have a go. I'm glad I did.

Let me just say that this morning's sermon did not suffer from the hyper-intellectualism I had experienced in Big Flats. In fact, I found this morning's sermon, which focused on "The path of non-effort" and learning to be the one being helped rather than the one helping to be entirely applicable to my life. Indeed, it fit well into many of the lessons I'm going through on my own right now.

The rest of the service was quite nice as well. It had a time for prayer and meditation, some group hymns, and some readings from various sources. I also liked how everyone was encouraged to stay after the service for coffee to talk and learn about the various programs the church is offering.

I suspect I'll go back again soon, possibly as early as next week. In fact, if today's service is representative, I could find myself becoming a regular attender. Mind you, I don't think I will ever make Unitarian Universalism my primary spiritual identity. Nor do I think it will become my primary form of worship. I prefer too much focus and tradition for that. Besides, I'm a witch through and through. But I could certainly see myself as going to First Unitarian as a secondary form of corporate worship. It would give me a chance to be around other open-minded people too, which is always a plus.

Last night, I attended the LGBT Community Forum that was held at the Downtown United Presbyterian Church. This event was organized by the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley, AIDS Rochester, and several other organizations to give the community a chance to learn the full details about the June 1 gay bashing and subsequent police misconduct that occurred in Rochester, as well as to give members of the community a chance to speak up and share their own reactions to the incident and others like it.

After city council member Bill Pritchard spoke, Alexandra Cobus gave a brief history of the June 1 incident based on the investigation so far. Without giving a level of detail that might compromise the investigation, Ms. Cobus walked the community throught he events of the bashing. Rather than attempt to repeat that account exactly, I will merely offer some of the details that stood out to me. There were eight people in total attacked that night, with two separate incidents. The eight victims, all friends, were leaving the Avenue Pub between two and three that morning, heading in the direction of Park Avenue. They were travelling in two groups, with the second group lagging behind the first by approximately five minutes. The perpetrators attacked both groups with a metal pipe in turn while expressing anti-gay slurs.

An unidentified witness called the police at the time of the first attack, and a number of officers (witness accounts place the number between twelve and fifteen) arrived shortly after the second assault. When some of the victims approached the officers on the scene, they were told to go home. They requested to file a police report, only to be denied. In the process, three of the people who were attacked were arrested.

According to Ms. Cobus, there are currently two separate police investigations going on. The first is a criminal investigation against those who attacked both groups. The second investigation is to address the matter of police misconduct in regards to the matter. Ms. Cobus also indicated that according to the chief of police, the misconduct investigation is considered a higher priority.

One of the other issues that Ms. Cobus addressed were the rumors surrounding FBI involvement in the investigation. She wished to make it clear that the FBI was only investigating the allegations of police misconduct. At this time, the FBI simply does not have the jurisdiction to investigate a hate crime based on sexual orientation. As an aside, this is why the current legislation that would add sexual orientation to the federal hate crimes law is so important. If this legislation passes, the FBI would have jurisdiction in future incidents of this nature.

Afterwards, members of the community were given their chance to speak and express their feelings. Most notably, those with similar experiences were encouraged to share them. I didn't count them (or record their stories), but I'd estimate that seven or eight people spoke up to share similar experiences of being harassed, stalked, or assaulted, only to have poor police response. Needless to say, there was a great deal of anger and tension in the room. It's no surprised that the organizers asked a member of the LGBT who is a psychologist to mediate this portion of the night's agenda.

The night concluded with a half hour brainstorming session where everyone in attendance was invited to bring up their suggestions on how to prevent such future incidents -- or at least improve how they're handled. Ideas were wildly varied and included everything from improved training for police officers in handling these kinds of crimes to protests and demonstrations. There were a number of excellent suggestions, and I hope that we as a community find a way to implement many of them in the coming months.

Last night was another COAP game night. It was a fun time, despite the relatively low turn-out. There are actually a number of things I could write about based on last night's events. However, for now, I'm choosing to focus on something that came up during a discussion between Woody and Mark during the "meeting" portion of the night.

Woody and Mark have been involved in COAP for long periods of time, so they got reminiscing. At one point, Woody started talking about his history with COAP and his pattern of disappearing and coming back. One of the things that he pointed out was that often, his disappearances occurred at the same time he started seeing someone, while he came back after the relationship ended. Mark commented that this is common, and even joked that it's the "gay lifestyle."

At this turn of the conversation, a couple of thoughts entered my mind. The first one was a sense of relief that I'm not the only one prone to this kind of behavior. Indeed, one of the things that I realized when I started coming to COAP events was that I'd have to fight the urge to drop out when I eventually get into a relationship. So it was nice to know that other people have those same tendencies.

But then, I had to ask the question. Why is that? Why is part of the "gay lifestyle" to drop off the social circle when you meet that special someone. Is it because we see the social circle as nothing more than a marketplace for picking up our next lover? That's certainly a frightening thought in itself!

Of course, I should note that I don't think this is strictly a gay thing. I've noticed that a good number of heterosexual couples tend to lose track of their friends over time, too. After all, my parents don't get out nearly as much as they used to (though my father does socialize more through their church than my mother does). Often, they're content to do their work, meet a few communal obligations, then head home.

But it seems to me from my observations that it happens much more quickly and suddenly amongst gay people (especially men). While heterosexual couples may become more insular and reclusive over time, it seems like we do it at the earliest opportunity. Which I don't think is healthy, for reasons I covered before. So why do we do it?

Personally, I think it's in part because we're often afraid of finding true love that we've become obssessed with it to the exclusion of everything else. So when we're with someone, all of our attention turns towards building and maintaining that relationship. After all, we're not sure when the next one is coming along (and with only a small percentage of the population to work with, finding eligible, desirable lovers can seem like a daunting task), so we want to do everything we can to make it work. So we allow other friendships and our other activities to come along. Add to this the fact that the early stages of any relationship can be quite intoxicating and addicting, and it becomes an understandable pattern.

But realizing this doesn't make continuing the pattern a good idea. In some ways, I think it demonstrates why we -- both individually and collectively -- need to break this pattern.

Last night, as planned, I headed over to The Golden Port to meet other COAP members for a late dinner. I arrived a bit late, but found the large group. I ended up sitting down on one end. Marlena sat across from me. I didn't catch the name of the gentleman who sat to my right. When he came, a man by the name of Sam sat to my left.

I haven't entirely made up my mind about how I feel about the experience, to be honest with you. This is because it was a chaotic dinner and there were both high points and low points. I've pretty much decided that I need to attend the same dinner next month and possibly the one after that before I make up my mind about whether I'm going to continue going to them.

In fairness to the group, I was tired by the time I got there. I had worked until 7pm that evening, and my shift had been mentally exhausting. Combine that with the general physical inactivity of a desk job, and you have a state of being that didn't quite put me at my peak for socializing, anyway. Add to that the fact that my natural shyness and tendency towards introversion was trying to assert itself at the same time, and I have to admit that I was not in my element to begin with.

Now, add to this the fact that most of the other dinner-goers had just come from the business forum. Both Zara and Jennie talked to me about the business forum, but I really don't understand much about it other than (1) it serves as a monthly fundraiser for Pride and (2) it involves the consumption of alcohol. So I was tired, feeling introverted, and surrounded by a group of people who were all intoxicated to some degree or another. This is not a good combination when you're empathically gifted. So I spent a couple moments at various points in the dinner just trying to get my already work-addled mind to put my shielding exercises to effective use.

Then there was the minor issue of the fact that I was a newcomer entering into a group situation where everyone else knew each other and were great friends for the most part. I think it's difficult for all but the most socially agressive people to find a way to break in on that sort of situation. So I was finding it difficult to get involved in the conversations that I was able to hear and follow through all the chaos.

Sam and I did talk a bit, however. We didn't say anything earth shattering, mind you. But I will admit that he was a bit more outgoing than the others seated immediately around me, which helped me break the ice a bit better. He was quite funny, and I was able to warm up a bit more after his arrival, for which I'm grateful.

Also, towards the end of the meal, Zara got up from her seat and wandered around so that she could say hello to those who were too far from her while she was eating. She came down and spoke to Sam and I for a while, which was a nice experience. Even that brief conversation improved my own experience a great deal. She told me about the business forum, and encouraged me to attend that as well next month. I haven't made a final decision, though I am certainly considering it. I asked her if they also serve non-alcoholic beverages (the only thing more trying than being an empath around intoxicated people is being an intoxicated empath around intoxicated people -- and possibly even sober people), which I don't think she ever actually answered, come to think of it. Of course, she made sure that Sam and I had been introduced and gotten along. Sam made up this rather amusing melodramatic story about how it had been rough at first and we even had a spat, but we were able to patch things up. It was hillarious, and Estella would've loved it.

So overall, I suppose I did have a good time. At least I had a good enough time that I'm willing to give it another try come May. However, given this experience, I think I'll try to plan ahead a bit. For example, I will do my best to make sure that I don't work longer hours earlier in the day. If at all possible, I'll even try to put in an extra hour or so earlier in the week so I can knock off a bit early. That way, I can get in some meditation and other work to better prepare myself for the chaos. That should help put me in a state where I'm more able to focus on trying to be sociable. And hopefully, as I attend a few more times, I'll start getting to know people better and find it easier to find a place in the various conversations going on.

After a bit of deliberation and carrying on about how shy and nervous I usually am, I eventually convinced myself to go to COAP's game night tonight. In retrospect, I'm glad I did. To be honest, I'm not sure when I've had that kind of fun.

I arrived at the coffee house a little before 6:30pm. As I was early, I decided to take the time to pull out the laptop an work on my writing. As I was finishing up the next chapter in A Journey to Queerdom, people started showing up. So I finished editing the pages locally, then turned off the computer, ordered another iced tea and went over to introduce myself.

By the end of the night, there were a total of six of us. Originally, four of us played Gloom, which is probably one of the most morbid games I've ever played. (Is it bad that I enjoyed it?) I almost won, but Woody cleared all the modifiers off one of my family members just before Paul killed off his last family member. As a result, Paul won the game.

The next game we played -- involving all six of us this time -- was Phase 10. Now I think I vaguely recall playing this game once before, but it was a few years ago. Fortunately, it was similar enough to other games that I caught on rather quickly. In fact, for the first few hands, I managed to take the lead. Eventually, that changed and I was probably close to being low man on the totem pole (kinky!) by the time I had to leave. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to stick around and finish the game, as I have to go to work early tomorrow and I'm working a ten hour or better shift. In fact, I shouldn't be taking the time to write this, but I figure I need the chance to wind down, anyway.

Overall, game night was a great experience. It's been a long time since I've sat down with a group of guys (and the first time when I wasn't the only gay guy in the bunch) and just hung out. It was nice to chat, joke around with one another, and just have a leisurely visit. In a lot of ways, it reminded me a lot of the nights my family will get together to play cards. I'm alread looking forward to the next game night at the end of this month.

Saturday, I spent the day at the Rochester Pagan Pride Festival. I had an absolutely wonderful time, and look forward to going again in the future.

Most of the day, I spent hanging out with Wendy and her friends. She was kind enough to let me put out a few fliers for the POC on her table. Quite a few people ended up taking them. With any luck, that means we'll see some new faces real soon.

I didn't attend many workshops, as I was having too much fun talking with friends and what-not. The one that I did manage to attend was the Crystal Singing Bowl meditation, led by the good folks from Singing Bowl Expressions. I've been to one of the monthly meditations that Dawn and Jeff hold at Psychic's Thyme before. While I certainly enjoyed my experience there, it paled in comparison to the demonstration at Pride this year. This workshop involved ten different bowls, each vibrating at their own frequency. While I was not one of the many people who immediately found themselves out of their body, I could certainly feel my own energy channels responding to the experience. I also remember opening my eyes a couple of times and realizing I couldn't focus my vision. It was an incredibly rewarding experience.

I also got a book on Pagan ethics that Patricia Telesco recently wrote under another pen name. As Ms. Telesco was one of the invited speakers at the festival (and I bought the book directly from her), I had the chance to discuss it with her. I told her about my desire to do some research and planning over the next year and put together a local workshop on Pagan ethics. She was quite happy about the idea and encouraged me. I also shared with her about my blog entry concerning the line in the Charge of the Goddess that declares "all acts of love and pleasure" to be rites of the Goddess. She paid me a rather high compliment in regards to how I approached that line and the sentences surrounding it. It was rather encouraging.

I think the person who impressed me most at the festival, however, was someone I never actually got the opportunity to speak to. That's the young man, Adam, who stood about ten to fifteen feet from the entrance to the festival, handing out Christian tracts to anyone who would take them. According to one of the organizers I spoke with later, Adam is a regular "attendee" of Rochester Pagan Pride. And I think he deserves a great deal of credit for the level of respect he showed. Despite Adam's obvious disagreement with the religious views of most of the festival goers and his desire to "save" us, he was able to offer his message in a rather unobtrusive way. He was alwas polite when people refused his tracts (strangely, he never actually offered me one) and never attempted to start an argument. I can totally respect the way he chose to demonstrate his convictions.

In a mostly unrelated topic, I'd just like to say that my friend, Becky, also thinks that the guy who waited on me at the sub shop we bought lunch at was interested in me. I'm not sure I agree with her, but it was kind of nice to entertain the notion. I just wish that if he really were interested in me, he'd have said something.