Tag Archives: sexual agency

Let’s not be squeamish about the prostate

[Content Note:  Sex, Homophobia]

This morning, I was listening to the morning radio show.  For their “What would you do” segment, they chose a woman who was dating a guy who was practically perfect and with whom she had been building a great relationship.  She indicated that she had looked in his bedside table drawer the other day and found a dildo and wasn’t sure how to react.  To the credit of many people who called in or texted the show, many people seemed to have an attitude of “who cares?”  Some even went so far to suggest she offer to incorporate it into the couple’s own sexual experiences, which I thought was awesome.

However, there were also those who were leery about the whole thing.  One of the (male) radio hosts was even trying to come up with non-sexual explanations why the guy might have one.  (Seriously?  To massage an old shoulder injury?)  Because, you know, heaven forbid that a guy might enjoy actually having his prostate stimulated.  That might make him gay, I guess.1

But here’s the thing:  Stimulation of the prostate can be highly pleasurable for men.  A lot of men enjoy it.  Some of us are gay.  Some of us are bisexual2.  Some of us are even heterosexual, which is great.  Heterosexual guys should be free to enjoy whatever pleasure their bodies offer them as it pleases them.

Other guys — of all orientations — prefer to skip that particular activity for whatever reason.  That’s great too.  But we as a society would be well served to stop getting squeamish and/or offering up value judgments on those guys — reagardless of orientation — who know what they like and choose to indulge themselves.

1I’ll note that there’s not just a negativity toward the idea that a guy is gay, though.  There’s often added negativity toward the idea that some guys actually like being the receptive partner in anal sex.  It’s something completely unthinkable by some people, as can be noted by Phil Robertson’s underlying assumption that the only two possible choices a man could make is whether to stick his penis in a vagina or anus in his recent homophobic remarks.

2A possibility I suspect neither the show’s hosts nor those listeners who responded even considered.