Books, Paganism, Religion, Sexuality

Inclusive Heathenry: Exploring a journal prompt from chapter 13 of “Changing Paths”

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Happy Friday, dear readers!. I hope you’ve all had a great week. And for my readers who, like me, are in the United States, I hope you had a pleasant and safe Fourth of July! Does everyone still have all their fingers?

For today’s post, I’d like to explore the following journal prompt from chapter twelve of Changing Paths by Yvonne Aburrow:

Do you feel that everything about you is accepted and welcomed by your spiritual community?

I should note — as I briefly mentioned in an earlier post in this series — that I don’t have much interaction with our local community at this time. At one point, I was part of a local non-initiatory Wiccan coven, which did fully accept me. Of course, I helped found that coven, so I had a strong say in the ideals, values, and inclusiveness of that coven. And there was a general idea of “everyone is welcome’ in the greater community. But I can’t say that we as a broader community made an intentional effort to welcome and accommodate people from diverse background and life experiences.

What I want to focus on i this post, however, is the question of inclusiveness in the greater (world-wide) Heathen and Norse Pagan community. I think most people are aware that there are large movements of white supremacists who use Norse/Germanic mythology and a twisted version of those cultures’ history to support their racist views. There are also many in those communities that are transphobic and homophobic, many of whom raise the specter of ergi1 in the lore to justify their restrictive views on gender and sexuality.

Fortunately, many Heathens and Norse Pagans have worked hard to condemn and counteract bigotry within their ranks. One of the most famous examples of this is the creation of the Declaration of Deeds, which many organizations and kindreds have signed.

The reality is that whether my community makes me feel fully accepted depends entirely on which segments of the greater Heathen/Norse Pagan community you’re talking about. There are groups that I avoid. There are groups I would gladly join in a blot or sumbel and feel perfectly welcome and safe to do so.

As I wrap up this post, I would also like to note that this series is coming to a close soon. I only have one more chapter to blog about, which I will do next Friday. After that, I will have to figure out a new Friday blog series to start on July 19. If any of my readers would like to recommend another book you’d like me to blog my way through, an alternative source of journal prompts I might work through, or any other ideas, I’d love to hear about them. Drop me a comment with your ideas.

Footnotes

  1. The link I have provided is to an article by inclusive Heathen and author Diana L. Paxson that explains ergi and provides the historical context that explains why she does not believe the concept is a condemnation of homosexuality. ↩︎
Books, Memories, Witchcraft

Thoughts after reading the recently released biography of Scott Cunningham

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A Kindle snapshot of the cover of Christine Cunningham Ashworth’s biography about her brother, Scott.

Hello dear readers! #ChangingPathsBookChallenge is over and it’s time to get back to my Monday and Friday posting schedule.

Today, I thought I’d hare a few thoughts about Scott Cunningham and the biography his younger sister published recently, as I just finished reading it. I’ve already posted a review of the book over on GoodReads. However, I tried to keep that short and focused on the book itself. This post will talk more about my experiences and thoughts from engaging with Scott’s books myself as well as my thoughts on the biography.

Like so many people who came to witchcraft in the 1990s, the first book on the subject I read was Cunningham’s WIcca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner. And while I now consider my own witchcraft decidedly non-Wiccan, Scott’s book will always a special place in my heart. As he did for so many other witches, Cunningham got me started on my journey, and to that, I owe him a debt of gratitude. I will not forget my roots despite having moved beyond them. And in many ways, I think that Scott would approve. And honestly, based on her book, I think his sister would agree with my assessment.

By the time I read Scott’s book, he had been dead for roughly 5 years, something I did not know at the time. One of the things that came as a surprise to me while reading Christine’s book was that Scott’s life had been claimed by AIDS. I had known that Scott was gay — and often felt a certain amount of affection for and solidarity with him because of our shared sexual orientation — but knew no details about his personal life beyond that. For me, one of the hardest parts of reading this biography was hearing the tragic way his life ended and how his health faded away at the time. I admire Christina’s willingness to face the pain of reliving those moments of her brother’s life so that she could share them with us.

I’m considering digging out my copy of Scott’s book and reading it again. It’s been nearly thirty years since I read it and I think it might be interesting to see how the book strikes me now. Also, I feel like doing so would be another chance to re-engage him in a dialogue of sorts.

At any rate, I remember you, Scott Cunningham. You will always be a cherished mentor and a spiritual forebear to me. Hail to you.

Introspection, Paganism, Religion, Spiritual Development

#ChangingPathsChallenge2024: The Future

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Note: Today brings #ChangingPathsChallenge2024 to a close. Many thanks to Yvonne Aburrow for creating this challenge. It has been fun — if challenging at times — to create a post for each day this month. I look forward to doing more such challenges in the future. I hope you enjoy my final contribution to this challenge.

For those interested, I’ve also been blogging my way through Yvonne’s book, Changing Paths, on Fridays. Those who have enjoyed my posts for this challenge may want to check out that series as well.

On to today’s challenge topic.

To me, the future is undecided. That’s because I view the future as something that people — indeed all living things — are building together. Every choice we make and every action we take shapes the future and what the world will look like in that future. Personally, I look forward to seeing what that future and the world looks like as we continue the creation process.

Having said that, I am hopeful for the future. I believe that people are increasingly becoming more mindful about the kind of world they want to live in and what they can and need to do to help bring that world into existence. I am hopeful that our numbers will increase and that we will learn to cooperate and strategize together more effectively.

I also think that there will be challenges ahead. I suspect challenges will remain an ever-present reality. There will always be those who simply don’t care about living in or creating a better world. There will always be those whose idea of what a better world would look like is fundamentally different from my own. There will always be disagreements about the best way to create that better world.

As such, I know struggle will be a part of that process. We will have to fight. We will have to counter those who would force us to live in a world that we don’t think would be better at all. We will have to try to iron out differences of opinions on how to go about creating a better world, even among our compatriots and allies.

But ultimately, I believe that ongoing struggle will continue to pay off. We will continue to make progress with each effort and things will move towards the better world we envision, even if that movement is slower than a glacial pace. And I can be satisfied with that. After all, my job is not to reach the destination. My job is to help move us just a little bit closer to it. Future generations can take it from there.

In closing, I would like to give a shout-out and due credit to Andre Henry. His discussion of hope in his book, All the White Friends I Couldn’t Keep, greatly influenced my views in this matter. In fact, he said many of the things I said here first and much more eloquently.

Paganism, Personal Development, Spiritual Development

#ChangingPathsChallenge2024: Inspirations

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I don’t think I could possibly list all the people and things that inspire me and from whom/where I draw inspiration. I tend to look for inspiration everywhere. Most of the time, I find it. Whether I’m picking up a book fiction book, reading about the life and work of another person, watching a person live their authentic lives, or having a deep conversation with one of my many friends and acquaintances, I often find myself inspired.

Engagement with life in all of its variety is inspiring. Learning about lives different from my own is both educational and inspiring, gently urging me to expand my horizons and adjust my understanding of the world to be more broad and nuanced.

Inspirations are everywhere, just waiting to be discovered.

(This post is part of #ChangingPathsChallenge2024. For more information on this challenge and a list of topics, see Yvonne Aburrow’s post announcing the challenge.)

Family, Memories

#ChangingPathsChallenge2024: People I Admire

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My mother, graduating from nursing school at age 58.

There are a large number of people that I admire. For this post, however, I’m going to focus on my mother, Donna Harris. For those who may not know, she passed away this past January mere hours after her 77th birthday ended.1

My mother was a wonderful woman, a devoted wife, and a loving mother of three children. She worked most of my life as a healthcare worker. She became a nurse’s aid when I was in early elementary school. She provided home health care, then switched to working in a hospital, and eventually became a registered nurse a few years before she retired.2 She was devoted to her patients and excellent at her job. I’ve often shared with people at my amusement over how she was a confirmed mathphobe. However, when it came time to do the calculations involved in properly administering certain medications, she was a champ. I often joked that despite the fact she hated and feared high school algebra, she could solve any algebra problem as long as it was phrased as a word problem about administering medications.

She loved all three of us kids dearly and showed a commitment to that love even when each of us sometimes made loving us difficult. I know that she struggled with me coming out as gay and it was at least a decade before she could talk about it without things getting emotional or tense. But by the time that my husband and I married, she embraced him as part of the family and did everything to make him welcome. I’m not sure how she dealt with the fact that I left Christianity and chose to devote myself to Freyja and the other Norse deities. To be honest, I’m not sure how much she knew about my religious inclinations, as it was something we didn’t really talk about.3 But again, I always knew that she loved me no matter what.

As I write this post, I’m sitting her and thinking I’d love to pour out a bit of mead for her if I had any. I’m not sure how she’d feel about it. But I hope that she knows that I love her and admire both what she did for me and how she helped shape the person I am today. She is most definitely among my revered ancestors.

The funeral home director who took care of having my mother cremated also wrote this lovely obituary for her based on information he received from my father.

(This post is part of #ChangingPathsChallenge2024. For for information on the challenge and a list of topics, please see this post by Yvonne Aburrow.)

Footnotes

  1. In many ways, I feel like this post is a long overdue eulogy for her, as I am still completely aghast at the church service that masqueraded as her memorial service back in February. ↩︎
  2. I’ve always felt it tragic that a work-related back injury basically forced her into early retirement. Becoming a nurse had been Mom’s dream since I was teenager and I wish she had been able to enjoy the fruits of that dream and her labors to make it come true for at least a few more years. ↩︎
  3. Hey, I figured navigating my sexuality was hard enough. Why make things even more difficult? ↩︎
Books, Paganism, Religion, Witchcraft

Deities in my spiritual practice: Exploring a journal prompt from chapter 12 of “Changing Paths”

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Good morning, readers! It’s Friday and it’s time to explore the next chapter of Changing Paths by Yvonne Aburrow. This blog series is up to chapter twelve, which is titled “Changing Paths Within the Pagan Sphere.” I have chosen to focus on the following prompt for this post:

Does your practice focus on self-development, creating community connections, or devotion to gods and spirits? Does that sit comfortably with the tradition you currently practice?

In many ways, I think my practice tends to incorporate all of these things without over-emphasizing any of them. I view them as all related. For me, creating community and helping to create a better and more just world is in part accomplished through self improvement, and my relationship with my deities helps drive those processes.

I will note that while I consider my relationship with my gods to be devotional to some degree, I do not mean that in a way that I think many people think of when they think of being devoted to a deity. In a previous post, I offered a few comments on the “human/deity divide,” and my views on that matter impact the nature of my relationship — even the devotional aspect — with my deities. For me, being devoted to Freyja — and the other Norse deities to a lesser degree — is more like being devoted to my husband or a good friend. There is much affection there and I revere my deities’ wisdom and guidance, but I also still have my independent spirit. And quite frankly, I don’t think my deities would have it any way.

But my relationship with Freyja and the other deities goes beyond devotion as well, just as my relationships with my husband and my friends do. We are also partners in a great effort — that effort to make the world a better and more just place. So we have discussions. We occasionally even have arguments. I’ve even been known to swear at my deities before. And again, they respect me for it. In the end, we are bound together in our desire to build community, a better world, and a better place.

As for whether my current tradition supports this, I would say so. After all,e I’m building my own tradition in many ways. But the lore I’m drawing inspiration from aligns with these ideas, I think. One of the things I noticed about the Norse myths and sagas pretty quickly is that there seems to be this constant balance between personal freedom and communal obligation. And I see that dance of building community, working with the deities (and other spirits), and improving myself reflected in that balance.

Movies, Paganism, Religion, Witchcraft

#ChangingPathsChallenge2024: Movies and TV

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I love watching television shows and movies that involve witchcraft. Some of them are quite fun. Some manage to get at least a small amount of factual information about witchcraft — or at least certain traditions/expressions of witchcraft — in there with the Hollywood sensationalism. Some days, I even enjoy that Hollywood sensationalism, as I’m a huge science fiction, fantasy, and horror buff.

And yet, there are times I wish they’d give a more realistic portrayal of witchcraft. One where all the witches don’t have supernatural powers and/or are locked in some sort of cosmic battle between good and evil.1 I’d just like a nice movie or television show about some witches living their everyday lives.

I’ve often described this wish as a vision of a show I have. In the 1990s and 2000s, I used to watch 7th Heaven. I want a show like that one, but where the parents are a lesbian2 couple. One of them is Wiccan and the other is an atheist. They’re just raising their kids together and navigating the world and the challenges they face together like any other adults. To be honest, I wish I had the chops to write this show.

Personally I think my favorite show that has witches in it right (though it got canceled too soon) is Disney’s The Owl House. Granted, that show’s portrayal of witchcraft was pure fantasy and bore virtually little to witchcraft as most real people practice it. But the showrunner didn’t pretend otherwise. The witchcraft and magic in the show was jut a tool put forward a story and share some ideas. The show wasn’t so much about witchcraft as it was discovering your authentic self and being true to it,3 building friendships, and sticking up for what’s right. I totally respect that.

(This post is part of #ChangingPathsChallenge2024. For more information and a list of topics, please check out this post by Yvone Aburrow.)

Footnotes

  1. Such a cosmic battle seems to be more a Christian thing. So it’s both amusing and annoying that Hollywood keeps taking witches and then throwing them in a universe that still seems to be run by the principles of Christian cosmology. ↩︎
  2. Because in addition to being a witch, I’m a gay man and want queer representation as well. ↩︎
  3. I maintain that this is the real reason that show upset most evangelical Christians and other conservatives. That message is more toxic than any talk of witchcraft could ever be. In that sense, it was also one of the things about the show I found most “authentically witchy.”
    As an aside, I owe the evangelicals a great deal of gratitude regarding that show. I never would have even heard of it if they hadn’t raised such a huge fuss over it. But they did, and it prompted me to check it out and become a fan. ↩︎
Society

#ChangingPathsChallenge2024: Colours

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Note: I kept the British spelling of colors in the title because that’s how how Yvonne Aburrow spelled it in the list of prompts. For the rest of this post, I will be a good little rebellious U.S. citizen and spell it properly. 😝

This past Sunday, it was Pride week at Gracepointe Church in Nashville, whose services I attend online. During the children’s moment (what other churches might call a “children’s sermon”), Tiffany spoke with the children about pride and the rainbow and started asking what aspects or traits of God each color and the rainbow might represent. It led to a few funny moments, as many of the children had watched Inside Out and their answers reflected that. So they started suggesting emotions like anxiety and jealousy. Part of me is tempted to launch into an exploration of a theology that acknowledged a Divine being that encompassed such traits.

Instead, I want to focus on this as just one more example of how important color is to those of (or at least those of us who can see colors) and how common it is to associate our colors with various things, such as concepts, emotions, and energies. Many of these systems don’t always agree with one another, but they all exist. And I think many of them are useful, even those that are not consistent with one another.

At a more basic level, I think the important thing to take away from how we view colors and associations with these various things is how complicated and nuanced the world we find ourselves in. We do not live in a monochromatic world where things can be reduced to simple dualities and dichotomies.

And just like a rainbow, that “many-hued” world is beautiful.

(This post is part of #ChangingPathsChallenge2024. For more information about the challenge and a list of topics, please see Yvonne Aburrow’s post about it.

Image from PublicDomainPictures.net
Books, Paganism, Religion, Spiritual Development

#ChangingPathsChallenge2024: Books

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I love books. Reading a book can be such a mind expanding experience. I can learn how to do something (at least in part) from reading a book. i can introduce myself to different perspectives by reading a book. I can learn about experiences beyond my own by reading a book.

It’s not just non-fiction books, either. My spirituality and my views have been greatly impacted by authors like Isaac Asimov, Douglas Adams, Neil Gaiman, and Terry Pratchett. Fictional worlds have this way of letting us explore ideas in an environment not quite unlike our own (or totally unlike our own in some cases). And once we come to terms with those ideas, it can them feel almost easier to bring them into our own world and lives.

Of course, that brings me to the limitation of books. Reading is not the same as doing. So at some point, I have to remind myself to put the books down and actually act on these new Ideas I’ve been exploring during my reading. But thank goodness books are their to introduce those ideas to me in the first place.

(This post is part of #ChangingPathsChallenge2024. See Yvonne Aburrow’s post announcing the challenge for more details, including a list of topics.)

Paganism, Religion

#ChangingPathsChallenge2024: Music

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Back when I was in an eclectic Wiccan coven, one of my co-founders was really into music. She had spent the first part of her adult spiritual life as a choir director, so music was important to her. So naturally, as she put together our basic ritual structure, she decided to include music in the background during various parts of the rite. I even ended up (ientionally) selecting the pre-ritual song (We Are The Wick by Castalia). I’d be hard pressed to remember the other songs we used. However, they were all well chosen and added to the tone of our rituals.

Granted, there were also some technical issues at first. The coven member who did this was a bit older and not the most tech-savvy person. So figuring out how to play the music cue at the right time was a bit challenging. We started out using her old stereo and a CD changer, but hitting the correct buttons to switch to the correct song was a bit of a challenge. We used my iPhone for a bit. I think when we got another member who was good with technology and had the time and inclination to sort through it got all the kinks worked out. In fact, I think we were able to use his solution even after he left the coven.

I was glad he did that, though. To be honest, during the time period working out the kinks, there were a few times if I wondered if the music was worth all the hassle. But thanks to those who had the inclination and patience to work through things and come up with a smooth and easily handled solution, we eventually had a wonderful addition to our rituals that we all enjoyed.

(This post is part of #ChangingPathsChallenge2024. Please see Yvonne Aburrow’s post announcing the challenge for more information and a list of topics.)

The thoughts of a gay witch living in upstate New York.