Earlier today, Lauren and I got joking around. In the process of our joking, she asked me when I’d be donning a white gown. I gave her an answer that more or less amounted to “never.” Silliness ensued, and she ended up posting an obviously edited, but hilarious photo. Of course, this whole thing was particularly funny, because one of the running jokes whenever the idea of two guys getting married that invariably comes up is the question, “Who’s going to wear the white dress?” At least I think it’s a joke.
But setting the jokes aside, I am inclined to answer that question for myself. At my wedding (unless my fianc? manages to offer me one hell of a compelling reason), no one will be wearing a white dress. Because, to me the idea makes no sense at best and is downright offensive at worst.
I am a gay man. I am not a crossdresser. I am not a transvestite. I am not a transsexual. While I might put on a blouse and skirt on rare occasion just for the fun of a given situation, dressing in women’s clothing simply isn’t a part of my normal life. So why would I want to introduce it to the solemn occasion of sealing my commitment to the man I hope to spend the rest of my life with?
I certainly wouldn’t do it for the “laughs,” as was my reasoning for donning women’s clothing in the past. Those kinds of “laughs” simply have no place on my wedding day either. Nor does the kind of political statement (in the form of parody) that I’ve heard some people posit as a reason for doing such a thing have any place there. My wedding day will be about myself, my love, the love we share, and the commitment to one another we’re making. Playing around with traditions just for the heck of it would only detract from those themes.
I don’t know what my love and I will wear during our wedding. Maybe we’ll booth wear tuxes. Maybe we’ll just go with suits. I wouldn’t even rule out my daily casual attire. But I know there will be no white dress, because it just doesn’t fit in with what I want my wedding to be about.
Besides, what would be the point in me wearing white? All my friends know better anyway. 😉