…and probably didn’t want to.

1. At one time, I was involved in an online “relationship.” At the time, I considered the other gentleman — who lived in the UK — my boyfriend. However, for various reasons (the fact that I never actually met him in person not being the least of them), I do not count it as a “real relationship,” nor do I count him as an ex.
2. I have never kissed a man.
3. I have, however, kissed a woman.
4. I actually worry about kissing. Even at thirty, I worry I won’t be “any good at it.”
5. My favorite drinks are pina coladas, strawberry daiquiris, mudslides, and long island iced teas.

6. My ex was also a diabetic. I actually attribute the fact that I took my own diagnosis so well to my experience with him.
7. At one time, that was the only positive thing I had to say about my ex.
8. The winter of my junior year at college, I went on a mission trip to Jamaica.
9. On that mission trip, we drove by the bar from the movie “Cool Runnings” several times. That’s not really a big deal, but we all thought it was kinda neat.
10. I have a brother (of sorts), but I rarely admit it.
11. The one time that I mentioned in public that he was my brother was because I wanted to make it perfectly clear to those around that he was not a friend. After all, I didn’t want them to think that I chose friends that were that big of assholes.
12. That was the one and only time I went anywhere with my brother during my adult life, and I have no intention of repeating the experience.
13. I met my current boyfriend, Mike, online.
14. Mike and I have been dating for three and a half years.
15. I don’t remember exactly when Mike and I first met in person, but I know it was the beginning of May 2001.
16. I used to have an online copy of every email Mike and I sent each other except for the first month. Then Webbox lost them all.
17. I fell in love with Mike the first evening we met, but not at first sight.
18. Mike is almost the complete opposite from what I’ve generally considered my “type.” This is why I don’t believe in “types.”
19. I used to do Christian clowning on a regular basis.
20. I was the coordinator of all InterVarsity-ran Bible studies on my campus my junior and senior year.
21. My lack of organization used to drive our IVCF staffworker bonkers.
22. I had a crush on my roommate my senior year in college.
23. My roommate also happened to be the president of our campus’s chapter of InterVarsity.
24. I made the mistake of confiding my situation to my roommate.
25. My roommate was actually pretty decent and understanding about it. We’re still friends, in fact.
26. The fact that he was pretty decent about the whole thing doesn’t negate the fact that he was a jerk a couple of times.
27. We had actually roomed together my junior year, too.
28. That year, we had told each other to go to hell.
29. I think that’s the only person I’ve told to go to hell.
30. If there WAS another person I’ve ever told to go to hell, it would’ve been my ex’s sister. (Also my ex-best friend.)
31. I cannot play sports well at all. I have next to no hand-eye coordination.
32. That’s due to the fact that I’ve had a lazy eye my whole life.
33. I’ve been through muscular surgery twice to correct it. I only know about the first time because my parents told me about it. I was extremely young (I don’t even know when exactly it was.)
34. My parents didn’t have insurance when I had that surgery.
35. It was clear immediately after the first surgery that they overcorrected. Unfortunately, my parents didn’t have the money for a second surgery. (In fact, they never had the money to pay the first one off. The debt just mysteriously disappeared.)
36. I didn’t have the second surgery until I was 27 because that’s the first time a doctor told me they could get my insurance company to pay for it. Before then, any doctor who mentioned it said that the surgery would be considered “cosmetic” and therefore the insurance wouldn’t cover it.
37. They got it right that time. My eyes aren’t perfectly aligned, but you’d really have to study my face to notice it.
38. This caused my depth perception to change drastically. I remember reaching for my glass at the dinner table and completely missing it. (I thought it was another four inches further away from me.)
39. I like to write erotica.
40. I like rollercoasters, but they scare me.
41. I’m dating a rollercoaster fanatic. Some days, that scares me.
42. At one time, I was working on a novel.
43. Originally, I was afraid to show anything I wrote to anyone.
44. Now, I practically shove my stuff in people’s faces.
45. I have a picture of my sister that my friends insisted was a picture of me in a blonde wig.
46. I actually passed that picture around the campfire one night during the “get to know your team members” session during our mission trip. Someone DEMANDED I explain the picture. Our team leader sat there laughing for several minutes.
47. I was raised in an American Baptist Church.
48. I have spoken from the pulpit before.
49. As youth leader, I was able to warp the fragile minds of the church’s youth for quite a few years before I left.
50. I call myself a fag all the time, despite the fact that it drives a few of my friends batty.
51. Actually, I partly do it BECAUSE it drives them batty.
52. I have a sadistic side.
53. I have a bigger masochistic side.
54. I’m a major cuddler.
55. I like to hug friends. Though there are some people I don’t like hugging at all.
56. I own a lot of computer games, but rarely play them.
57. There are only a few video games I’ve fully beaten. They are Super Mario Brothers, Metroid, and all the games in the Dragon Warrior series.
58. I own over twenty tarot decks, but only use two of them.
59. I have a hard time getting rid of books, despite the fact that I have many I have no use for.
60. I’m a packrat in general, too.
61. I love fantasy, but I was 28 before I ever read The Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit.
62. In reality, I got both of those on audio cassette. So technically, I still haven’t read them.
63. I was 21 before I watched Fiddler on the Roof.
64. My favorite musical is Sweeny Todd. I especially like the taped version where Angela Lansbury played Mrs. Luvitt. (There’s something about watching “Ms. Fletcher” sing a happy song about baking people into pies that inspires glee in the perverse part of me.)
65. I miss working with teens.
66. I love bad puns.
67. I used to love the green ping pong ball joke. (If you’re not familiar with it, don’t ask. You’ll regret it if you do.)
68. I jumped down off the table I was sitting on and strangled the person who told me the green ping pong ball joke.
69. I have only been drunk three times in my life. And both times, I was more tipsy and disoriented than all-out drunk.
70. The first time, I got drunk off jello shots.
71. The second time was at the local gay bar. I had one too many pina coladas.
72. The third time, I got drunk off two Long Island iced teas. It was shortly after being diagnosed with diabetes. It was the first time I drank after my diagnosis, and I didn’t understand how strongly my condition could effect my alcohol tolerance. (Plus having lost 50+ pounds didn’t help.)
73. I almost didn’t graduate from college. (Never come out to yourself your senior year, it’s not a pretty sight.)
74. I dream of being able to quit my job and devote my life to writing.
75. Part of me wants to publish something someday, but the thought of all the publicity involved with that scares the crap out of me.
76. I wouldn’t read anything by Ann Rice for the longest time because it struck me as too “trendy.”
77. Same with the Mists of Avalon, which I still haven’t read.
78. I’m actually very insecure, though most people online don’t believe it.
79. In 2001, I went from weighing 290 pounds down to around 230. By the first part of 2002, I started the climb back up. At my last doctor visit, I was up to 311. I’m hopefully bringing it back down again, though I hope to take it more slowly this time.
80. I consider myself an extremely boring person.
81. I have an insanely high number of online diaries/journals/blogs. In fact, I have to write their names down to count them.
82. I also have an insanely high number of email addresses. And I just added another one this weekend.
83. I didn’t keep track of my checking account for over four years. In that time, I only bounced one check, though.
84. I lost my license for three months due to my foolishness. (I let my car insurance lapse due to not paying.)
85. My first vehicle was an 82 Ford Ranger. My parents gave it to me my last semester in college.
86. I put two different engines in that truck. The first engine we put in had a crack in it. Less than two weeks after we put the second engine in it, a band broke in the transmission and it wouldn’t back up.
87. I also put two different engines in my last car. The first engine was a factory rebuilt engine. Unfortunately, there was an error in assembly at the factory and it busted a bearing after I had it for two weeks. The second engine was on them.
88. Like the Ranger, I got rid of the Saturn because it two had a major transmission malfunction after the second engine replacement. However, there was a nine month gap between the two incidents. (Since I had put a new transmission in it four years ago, I decided it was time for a new car.
89. I used to argue religion with the person who is now my brother-in-law. I argued the Christian viewpoint while he argued the agnostic viewpoint. Ironically, we’ve done an almost complete role-reversal since then.
90. I have four nieces (two by my sorta brother and two by my sister) and two nephews (both by my sister). I love kids, but I’m not sure I’d ever want to have any of my own.
91. I will babysit my nieces and nephews as long as I don’t have to change any diapers.
92. I live only five hours from NYC but have never been there.
93. I tend to make fun of myself a lot. I think I learned to do that because people at school would make fun of me. It was a defense mechanism.
94. When I was younger, I tended to get along with most adults better than most kids my own age.
95. I believe that what most people call “fate” is utter nonsense.
96. I believe the same thing about what most people consider “karma.” (I do find myself struggling to understand some of the “less popular” concepts of karma — such as the traditional Hindu doctrine of karma — and am therefore less likely to outright dismiss them, though.)
97. I worry about what other people think about me more than I should. A lot more.
98. I also think some people think way too highly of me.
99. I first got interested in computer programming when I was seven.
100. The second programming language I ever learned was Assembly language. I learned it on a Vic20. I didn’t have an assembler for that computer, so I actually had to hand-assemble my code to machine code. I did this when I was…14, I think. I was an odd teenager.