I don’t normally cut and paste other people’s stuff in my blog, but this really gave me a chuckle.

The Charge of the Bunny Goddess
by Gwen Wolfrose

Listen to the words of the Great Fluff she who of old is known as Amethyst MoonPixie, Mosscovered Rosequartz, Moonwater Firedancer, Keltic Dragondream, Lady Mooncrystal HPS, Lady Raven, Malibu SparkleBarbie, and Wiccan MacMorrigan, and by many other names, most of them made up by an online name generator:

Whenever you have need of anything once in the month, and better it be when the bookstore is still open, then shall you gather and adore me, who am Queen of all Bunnies. There shall you gather, you who desire to learn the true Art of Bunnycraft, yet have not grown in your furry undercoat; to these I will teach the esoterism of true fluffiness. And you shall be free from anything that is not white light goodness; and as a sign that you are truly free, you shall quote Scott Cunningham as gospel, put curses on those who call you names, bless everyone with white light happiness, redefine everything so that it fits your way of thinking, and demand that the so called dark gods are just misunderstood, never again the burning times… except for Satanists, we can still burn them since they aren’t pagan anyway. For I am covered with fur behold my cuteness. Keep pure your highest ideal; strive ever towards it and if anyone tries to stop you, change your screen name and rejoin their list to teach them a lesson. For mine is the determination to stomp out darkness wherever it may be whether they like it or not.

I am the Queen Mother Fluffer, Who can give the Gift of Joy unto the heart of man or woman so long as you are life affirming and positive ONLY. On Earth, I give the Knowledge that honesty is a crime if I do not agree with it; and beyond death, we will not discuss since death is a negative concept. I do not demand sacrifice, for behold; opening up a book does not require that much effort.

Hear ye the Words of the Bunny Goddess: She Whose Feet are fuzzy and soft, Whose Body encircleth the book store especially the Llewellyn shelf.

I, Who am the Fluffy Queen of the Earth and the White Light amongst the Internet, and the Mystery of why BTW’s don’t like it when I say Wicca is anything I want it to be because Scott said so, and the Desire to make up lies about them to make myself look like a hero to the other fluffers. I call unto thy soul, all ye who would be Bunnies: Arise! And come unto Me!

For I am the Soul of the Bunny, Who giveth Only Positive Life Affirming White Light to the Universe: from Me all things proceed, and unto Me nothing must return because it’s your bad karma not mine so there. And before My Face, which is fuzzy and soft and known to all gods who are all benevolent, thine innermost Bunny Self shall be enfolded in the Rapture of the Infinite Bunny.

Let My Worship be within the heart that tolerates no darkness, for behold: all acts in the name of white light goodness and fluffiness are my rituals especially if Scott wrote it. And therefore let there be white light and fluff within you.

And thou who thinkest to seek for Me, know thy seeking and yearning shall avail thee not, unless thou knowest the Mystery: that if thou do not own a Scott Cunningham book and seekest Me, then thou shalt never find Me unless you google Me or join an email list full of my Children which are many because I am a Bunny after all…

For behold, I have been with thee from the beginning; and I am That which is attained at the end of Wicca for the Solitary Practitioner or the middle if you can’t be bothered to read the whole thing.

Copyright 2004 Gwen Wolfrose, all rights reserved.
May be reposted anywhere so long as this copyright is included.