Category Archives: Society

Religion, Society

Interfaith relationships

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Today is where I finally give in to another “cosmic conspiracy.” For those who may not be familiar with such things, a “cosmic conspiracy” is where a topic or train of thought keeps coming up in my daily life to the degree that I begin to suspect that the very universe is conspiring against me to force me to face and grapple with that particular topic or train of thought. Today’s “cosmic conspiracy” (I use the quotes because I refuse to accept the idea that the universe really conspires against people) has to do with the topics of interfaith relations and interfaith dialogue. Actually, I’m just going to use the word interfaith relationships because I believe that dialogue is just a natural part of relationships, so it makes sense to roll the latter into the former.

A lot of people are talking about interfaith relationships right now. And I think that’s a great thing. I’m all for interfaith relationships, myself. It’s a good thing, too, because there are a lot of them in my life.

For this post, I’d like to try and focus on what interfaith relationships are really all about and why they’re important. Obviously, any answers I give will be my personal answers. Other people may see things differently and therefore may disagree with me in part or entirely. But as someone who engages in interfaith relationships regularly and seeks to increase my involvement in them, I think it’s important to explore my answers to these questions.

First, I would like to point out that faith traditions do not have relationships. Faith traditions are abstract concepts. Abstract concepts do not have relationships. Relationships require actors with personality. So people have relationships. Those people’s faith traditions just come along for the ride. Certainly, those faith traditions may influence and otherwise become reflected in the relationships, but in the end, the relationships are really about the people. No relationship — interfaith or not — works out unless those involved really grasp the truth of that statement. Because anything that isn’t about the people involved isn’t a relationship at all.

People surround us every day of our lives. Some of those people are going to be of different faith traditions. When we come into contact with those people, we have to make a choice. We can ignore them and pretend they’re not there. While such a choice may make sense in isolated cases, the effort of ignoring someone we see regularly can be inconvenient and even quite difficult. This is especially true of this person is a coworker, a friend’s significant other, or otherwise has any sort connection to us that would make avoiding any relationship altogether nearly impossible.

We can treat a person with hostility, keeping them at arms length. Again, this is rarely an effective strategy. In addition to being problematic if the person is someone we might be forced to have some sort of relationship with for other reasons, it takes a lot of energy to maintain and live in a state of hostility. That sort of thing tends to take its toll on us.

Our final option is to engage the person and establish a relationship. That relationship can be casual or intimate, depending on numerous factors. But in the long run, this choice is usually the healthiest and most convenient one.

I will also admit that on personal level, I enjoy building relationships. I love people and I love interacting with them. So I’m certainly biased in favor of this last option anyway. However, I will note that my bias does not necessarily negate the accuracy of my analysis of the other options.

Once we’ve accepted that engaging people in relationships is the best option, we are faced with another choice. We must decide whether we will allow our individual faith traditions to come into the picture. There’s certainly no rule that states that we must discuss our faith traditions into every relationship we have. In some cases, avoiding the subject makes perfect sense. For example, it’s not relevant in my relationship with my coworkers, so I generally don’t bring it up.

However, our faith traditions are usually important to us as people. As such, not discussing them with the people we relate to creates and maintains a certain amount of distance in our relationships. After all, it creates a part of us that is “off limits” and closed off to the other person. While this is acceptable in casual relationships where other factors are more important, it will not work with close friendships and other intimate relationships.

Similarly, the other person’s faith tradition is important to them. If we refuse to discuss and engage with their faith tradition, we have created an impediment for close relationship. I might as well change the subject abruptly every time a close friend brings up the topic of his children. I have no doubt that the net result would be similar.

There are other reasons why I find interfaith relationships both necessary and important, and I hope to share them in a future post. I also hope to discuss some of the pitfalls common in interfaith relationships. But for now, I would like to close by reiterating that like any relationship, interfaith relationships are about people. They are important because people are important. At least that’s the understanding I choose to live by.

This post has been submitted to the October 2008 Interfaith Dialogue synchroblog. The following is a list of other participants in the synchroblog.

Be sure to check out my fellow synchrobloggers!

Paganism, Politics, Society

With special thanks to Mike Hein

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This weekend, I received a strange and unexpected mass email from one Mike Hein. This email (which contains the entire text of the first post in public message board thread) basically informed me of the latest activities of Rita Moran, a Maine Pagan attending the Democratic National Convention as an official delegate for her home state.

Now, if the names Rita Moran and Mike Hein sound familiar to you, there’s a reason for it. Mike Hein wrote an article for the Christian Civic League of Maine’s online newsletter back in June 2007 which outted Ms. Moran as a Pagan. At the time, Hein was trying (at least that’s what it looked like to this and several other bloggers) to drum up fear that the Democratic Party in Maine was being secretly taken over by Pagans. I wrote my own post about this situation back then, and covered some of the other unethical tactics (most involving an attempt to intimidate or harass anyone who disagreed with them) the CCL of Maine chose to engage in around the time of this story.

As a result of this outting and subsequent harassment, Rita Moran decided to become more outspoken about her faith and became something of a Pagan spokesperson in the Democratic party. This is part of what took her to the DNC this year. So in many ways, I think we Pagans might want to thank Mr. Hein. What he did back in 2007 was deplorable, but it turned out quite well for many of us.

For whatever reason, Mr. Hein can’t seem to leave Rita Moran alone though. Almost a year later, he’s once again reporting on her doings. Though this time, it’s even less clear what he’s hoping to attempt with his mass mailing. I suppose in his mind he’s hoping to drum up the fear of the scary Pagan that’s a visible part of the Democratic party. And I suppose most of his audience might see the reason for that fear, but not me.

Though I will say that it’s nice to know what’s going on with Ms. Moran, and the mass mailing provided me with a link to Rita Moran’s and Ed Lachowicz’s blog for the convention. So thanks again, Mr. Hein!

Religion, Society

A Multi-Faith National Day of Prayer?

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Today, the following email was forwarded to me:

Merry Meet,

The National Day of Prayer is this Thursday May 1st. Our Coven has been watching and listening to the media on this and we decided to organize a group prayer meet to create positive change in our country though our Pagan perspective. This is also to enhance the day of prayer as Pagans and to show our faith and religious morals since many right wing groups want to make this a Christian day of prayer only.

If anyone would like to join us our group and others from our area will be at the Ontario County Court House, (27 North Main Street, Canandaigua, New York 14424) May 1st, ironically Beltane, at 7PM. Please bring a friend and a self contained candle to light as we silently pray for our country and for positive change. Signs are welcome so long as they are relevant to the topics of the day and are not vulgar or inflammatory to other religious groups.

Parking in the back of the court house is free and plentiful.

We look forward to coming together as a community and be counted as part of the solution.

Blessed be,

Shelly O’Brien and Heidi Gleber
High Priestesses- Coven of the Sacred Pentacle
Local Coordinators Fingerlakes Pagan Pride

First, let me say that for those who are close enough to the Canandaigua area to participate and are inclined to do so, I would highly encourage you. I suspect that this could be a great experience for many people.

I have to admit, however, that a National Day of Prayer makes little sense to me. To be honest, I tend to think of prayer — even corporate prayer — as a deeply personal thing. The idea of setting aside a “special” day to honor it and practice this spiritual discipline in a highly visible manner seems a bit odd and foreign to me. (I also tend to wonder how Christians in particular reconcile the National Day of Prayer
with Christ’s exhortations against “public religiosity,” which even address prayer specifically.) Personally, I don’t think I would feel comfortable participating in such an event because of how I see prayer, though I support everyone who feels differently and honor their right and choice to participate.

I also wonder if we might want to be careful about setting up religiously segregated prayer groups for the National Day of Prayer, as well. If we are to take a day to celebrate prayer as a nation, it seems that we should do so as a nation rather than as separate groups within the nation.

Now, I realize that not every Christian, Jew, or Muslim would be willing to pray alongside Pagans. (Heck, some of them are quite unwilling to pray alongside certain members of their own faith!) But some of them are, and it seems like it would be wise to use this opportunity to build such bridges. I think a group of people from radically different faith groups praying together would be a far better statement — not to mention a powerful act — than splintered groups of Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Pagans, and other faiths doing their own thing.

Who knows? Maybe that’ll be part of next year’s National Day of Prayer events. To the folks gathering to pray in Canandaigua, I wish you the best with your gathering this weekend.

Friends, Gender and Sexuality, Society

A blast from the past: Jarred suggests taking a stand

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Due to online conversations I’ve had over the past week, I was reminded of an entry I wrote on another diary site. I decided to find it and repost it to this blog. As I recall, the topic created quite a stir back in 2004, though most people seemed to applaud my outlook on the matter. And even those who didn’t applaud it tended to have mixed feelings than being completely against my point.

Searching through the Stand To Reason website, (don’t ask why I was there) I found a recommended letter for one to send to gay people who might be visiting your home. I’ve posted the letter below:

Dear ,

I need to let you know that although we love you and look forward to seeing you, we don’t want you to bring your friend with you. We have nothing against him personally. If he were visiting as an individual under other circumstances, that would be another matter. I don’t believe in ostracizing others whose behavior I disagree with.

This situation is different, though. In so far as the two of you are in the relationship you’re in, welcoming you both as a couple would be treating as good and normal a relationship which is neither.

Our concerns may cause you to cancel your visit. I hope not. We’d like to see you. However, in good conscience we must insist on this principle in our home.
Sincerely,

I wish I could say that I’m shocked that anyone would even suggest such a letter. Unfortunately, I’m not even mildly surprised. Unfortunately, the extremely conservative Christian elements have a history of these sorts of things. But rather than ranting about it, I decided to simply post my suggested response. It’s the basic response that I would send if anyone was ever foolish enough to send me such a letter.

Dear ,

I am writing to inform you that, as you suspected, i will be canceling my visit to your home. My boyfriend and I are working hard to build a life together, and it is our policy to refuse all invitations where we are not welcome as a couple. This is a principal of our relationship, and we are unwilling to compromise it.

We do not require that people approve of our relationship. We do not require that people like our relationship. However, we do require that people come to terms with our relationship and treat it as an important part of our lives. Your request that I leave my boyfriend at home when I come to visit you makes it clear that you would rather ignore an important part of my life, and I will not accept that. As such, I also wish to inform you that at this time, I find it appropriate to end our friendship.

I’m sure that this decision will shock you, and suspect that you will even think it’s an overreaction to your request. However, I would ask that you consider what you are asking of me and try to put yourself in my shoes. There are many people who disapprove of various relationships for various reasons. Some disapprove of divorcees who remarry. Some disapprove of relationships between people who feel they “married too young” or “got together for the wrong reasons.” The list of reasons that people disapprove of others’ relationships is virtually endless. Now, suppose that someone disapproved of your own marriage for one reason or another. How would you react if that person informed you that you were not welcome in their home as a couple?

You have chosen to put me in that very position. I will not abide by that. As such, I feel it is best to wish you the best in life and part ways.

Regards,
Jarred.

Rants, Religion, Society

Religiously Empowered Extortion

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Tracie sent me the link to a story that I can only describe as religiously aided extortion:

Madhya Pradesh urban administration and development minister Narottam Mishra has directed officials to probe the social boycott of 20 families in Betul district for allegedly practising witchcraft. Each family has been asked to pay a penalty of Rs.10,000 to ‘get back to the society’.

Now, I susppose that being shunned until they pay the penalty is arguably better than being executed, as sometimes happens to “child witches” in Africa. However, one must wonder (and not being familiar with this part of the world, I have no point of reference to even offer a guess) how many of these families even have the Rs.10,000 being demanded of them, let alone the ability to part with the money and still feed and clothe themselves.

I think what particularly disturbs me about this story is that these families were “found out” through a baba performing a ritual designed to discover witches. So the baba fingers these families and now they’re on the hook. I mean, what if the baba got it wrong — or worse, is lying because of a personal vendetta? Do these families have any recourse? Or does being ritually “discovered” trump all forms of reason and/or evidence? If that’s the case, then I see a potential racket!

Movies, Society

Movie Review: Into the Wild

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Last Saturday, I went to see Into the Wild with my friend, Rick. The entire movie fascinated and captivated me from first scene to closing credits. The story told was both touching and powerful. It covers the story of Christopher McCandless, a young man who takes off after college graduation to roam the country (with a brief trip into Mexico) for two years before entering the Alaskan wilderness to discover himself. During his travels, he demonstrates great insights and touches the lives of more than one person before his story comes to an unfortunate end.

In addition to telling a powerful story, this movie offered up many themes and thoughts that I could identify with. The movie suggested time and again that one of the driving motivations behind McCandless’s journey was a dissatisfaction with society and its structures and facades, preferring a simpler, more direct life. In more than one scene, McCandless promotes the idea of stripping away facades as well as becoming more self-reliant. This is a sentiment I often share with McCandless, though I do not plan to disappear into the Alaskan wilderness anytime.

But I think that to a lesser degree, McCandless offers us all sage advice to us all about learning to step beyond the complexities and games that have become an innate part of our civilization. He calls us to consider becoming more direct, more honest, and more authentic. And these are all things that we can benefit from. And if it leads us to lead somewhat simpler lives, all the better.

In the end, McCandless learns one truth in his isolation near the end of his journey. He reveals that truth by writing in one of his precious books, “Happiness is nothing unless it is shared.” (That may be a paraphrase rather than a direct quote.) It is both strange and unfortunate that to learn this wisdom, he had to spend an extended time alone. But then, I suppose we all are prone to take for granted the people with whom we share our lives with.

Overall, this movie is incredible, and I would highly recommend it to everyone.

Online Life, Paganism, Religion, Society

Another great synchroblog

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Last month, I posted a bit about a synchroblog wherein a number of Christian bloggers talked about Christianity and Paganism and discussions between members of both faith groups. This month, the same group is having another synchroblog, with the topic being about Halloween this time. So far, I’ve read a handful of posts from the event and enjoyed them thoroughly. The link above is to Sonja’s post, where anyone interested can find links to the rest of the participants’ blogs.

I’m not going to say much about the synchroblog yet, as I’m still reading. I expect to have many thoughts to share by the time I’m done. I will briefly note that Sonja’s daughter cracked me up with her “emergency vampire protection” though.

Religion, Society

A Kathy Griffin post worthy of some link love

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A couple days ago, a friend decided to express his views on the Kathy Griffin “Suck it, Jesus” comment at the Emmy’s. I thought I’d share it with you because while not exactly praising Ms. Griffin, James actually applauds her comment as one of the most honest he’s heard. He goes on to express why he finds other celebrities (namely the one’s Ms. Griffin referred to before telling Jesus to “suck it”) worthy of his criticism:

Why does it not offend us when celebrity after celebrity thanks Jesus, yet their lives and films show very little (if any) of actually following him? And do we really think that the Emmy Board is spending time in prayer and fasting to determine who Jesus thinks is the best actress in a comedy series? Doesn’t thanking Jesus for an award imply that Jesus prefers Ricky Gervais over Charlie Sheen?

One of the things I’ve always appreciated about James was his ability and willingness to portray a topic in a rather unique perspective. Of course, there are days that I think it’s nothing short of a miracle that he hasn’t attracted any hate notes yet.

Gender and Sexuality, Religion, Society

The Most Slippery Slope?

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InterstateQ blogger Matt has a post advertising the Can you be gay and Christian forum hosted by Michael Brown and the Coalition of Conscience. I’m looking forward to reading Matt’s thoughts on the forum, as he went to it. In the meantime, I’d like to draw attention to the conversation between Dr. Brown and myself in the comments regarding slippery slope arguments. I’d also like to expand on my thoughts further.

I have a big issue with the use of slippery slope arguments to justify discrimination of any sort. (Actually, I have a big issue with the use of slippery slope arguments to justify just about anything.) As I mentioned in the comments, I find myself wondering how one ultimately draws the line in determining whether a slippery slope is legitimate in a particular situation. Again, can my own argument about the correlation between a belief in absolute truth and a tendency to persecute those who don’t subscribe to that truth be used to outlaw the belief in absolute truth? After all, by closing the door to a belief in absolute truth, we keep the door to persecution based on that belief closed as well. Similarly, can we shut the door to all automobile future crashes by outlawing the use of automobiles? After all, if one supports Dr. Brown’s slippery slope argument, what unique argument can they provide against supporting either of my slippery slope argument? Indeed, the fact that the slippery slope argument can be used against itself is possibly one of the best reasons to discount it.

But let me suggest a hypothesis here. The fact that someone would even bring up a slippery slope argument may well suggest that the reason to argue against something is poor indeed. After all, a slippery slope argument relies on what might happen (often suggesting it’s too inevitable to chance) rather than considering the original proposition on its own faults and merits. It’s a red flag that tells those listening, “We can’t come up with a better reason why we oppose this, so we’re going to rely on everyone’s fear of something else that may come up as a result to make our case.” And one must wonder, if no case against the original proposition can be made on said propositions own faults, should any case be made at all?

And does reacting to something based solely — or even primarily — on a fear of what may be make any sense? To put an even finer point, is such a rationale appropriate for adherents of a religion that has a rather negative opinion of fear? Indeed, one must wonder why Christians who have been given a spirit of love and power as well as a sound mind would be so strongly motivated by the fear of what may be? And one wonders why Christian leaders would encourage such motivation through slippery slope arguments.

Friends, Paganism, Society

Fingerlakes Pagan Pride

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This past Saturday, I went to Fingerlakes Pagan Pride Day. As I was feeling lazy and wanted to do other things, I didn’t arrive until a little before 2pm. Once there, I immediately found Wendy and determined which Quarter I’d call during the closing ritual. Since they left it up to me, I chose to call Air. After all, both my sun sign and rising sign are air signs, and that’s how many groups assign quarters anyway. Of course, I realized after the fact (and after the other Quarters had been assigned, so it was too late to change my mind) that this meant I’d be the first one to call a Quarter during the ritual. As a rule, I don’t mind going first, but I’d never participated in a ritual organized by Wendy’s coven before. In such a case, I’d normally choose a Quarter to allow me to observe someone else call their Quarter first just to work out some of the details of how a given coven does things through observation. Fortunately, I did get a chance to ask someone about those details (e.g. “Do you normall call Quarters facing the Quarter or facing the altar?”) beforehand.

Pride itself was rather enjoyable. I can’t comment on a lot of details, as I didn’t participate in a lot. None of the workshops planned really tripped my trigger, so I spent most of my time just socializing. After all, as I said in a previous post, I find such events most valuable for networking anyway. And it gave me a chance to catch up with a few people I haven’t seen in a couple months or so.

I will say that one thing I like about this particular Pagan Pride is that because of how new it is, it’s still relatively small. It tends to give it a much more intimate atmosphere, and you feel like you can meet and get to know just about everyone. That may change in a few years, as I noticed a considerable increase in turnout compared to last year. Hopefully, those in charge can find a way to maintain the same style of atmosphere as it grows each year.

One particular moment from the festival I’d like to point out occurred during the closing ritual. Just after Wendy and Kiree served cakes and wine (well, cookies and water), a young man who identified himself as Zach asked if he could say something. After he received permission (not to mention heavy encouragement), he commented that there had been a time when he was afraid to identify as Pagan and speak up about his beliefs. He went on to comment that coming to Pride that day gave him the chance to meet kind-hearted and like-minded people, which both comforted him and gave him courage. His comments were deeply heart-felt and moving, and I think it once again reminded everyone in attendance just why we participate in such events.