Paganism, Personal Development, Religion, Tarot

Tarot Musings: Eight of Disks

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Deck: Tarot of Transformation
Card: Eight of Disks
Keyphrase: Skillful Perseverance

A lone woman, dressed in a long, simple dress, stands with her back to us in the lower right quadrant of the card. Her eyes are fixed on a point near the center of the distant horizon. There is no path before her, merely a broad, rolling landscape. The sun shines overhead just above her distant destination, and birds circle around it. A spiral pattern ? suggesting air currents ? flows from the foreground around and towards the glowing orb in the sky. To the left of the woman stands a transparent image of an antlered beast, possibly a moose.

This card calls us to keep moving forward in our journey. Though there may be no apparent path before us, we know our destination and the direction in which it lies. So it is up to us to begin walking towards it as best we can, taking comfort that our path will become more clear as we continue our quest. Indeed, quite often, the first stage in a journey is to find the path that will guide us in the rest of the journey.

However, this card reminds us that we are not left completely alone in this stage of the journey. Even without a true path, there will be those small cues that will help us find our way and make course adjustments as necessary. One merely needs to open oneself up to sensing the ?currents in the air? which will beckon us on. Or perhaps we will get more tangible clues, like the birds who follow the currents. Or perhaps even a guide ? such as the animal totem in the picture ? will show up to offer us guidance. We merely need to keep striving for our goals with an open mind and an open heart. After all, perseverance and openness are always rewarded when the time is right.

Introspection, Paganism, Religion, Tarot

Tarot Musings: The Star

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Deck: Tarot of Transformation
Card: The Star (XVII)
Keyphrase: Guiding Light

A lone female figure stands in the center of this card, leaning against a tree. The tree?s barren limbs and the mostly white ground at the figure?s feet tell us that it is winter. The woman wears a long, heavy dress, and a dark shawl is draped around her shoulders. From her neck hangs a pendant of an upturned crescent moon with a single flame nestled in the inner curve. The woman?s head is slightly inclined to view the lone star shining in the sky towards the left edge of the card (to the figure?s right).

This card speaks of the inner wisdom that comes from within the individual. This wisdom is available to us when we allow ourselves to stop and listen to it, divesting ourselves of the distractions that often fill our lives. The woman on the card stands in a barren winter-land because she knows that it will enable her to focus more on that wisdom she carries with herself, as symbolized by her pendant. The crescent moon suggests that this is more an intuitive wisdom rather than intellectual knowledge.

There is a strong correlation between the star in the sky and the pendant of the figure. These symbols remind us that consulting this inner wisdom is a matter of consulting the source of that wisdom ? that Divine source to which we are connected. In essence, we are reminded that the search for the sublime starts within, for that is our guiding light.

The wintry background also reminds us that cultivating and accessing this inner wisdom and the resulting cosmic understanding requires some unseen work. There may be times which we must go through a period of silence while our unconscious works to rearrange things and prepare us for the next stage of the journey.

Paganism, Personal Development, Religion, Tarot

Tarot Musings: Seven of Pentacles

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Deck: Robin Wood Tarot
Card: Seven of Pentacles

A young man, perhaps in his late twenties or thirties, stands in the middle ofthe card so that his upper body is visible. His hands rest ato one another, the fingers of his lefthand slightly curved downwards. The end of a handle — perhaps to a shovel or a hoe — pokes into the center of his left palm. He wears thick gloves and a canvas jacket, the perfect attire for yardwork or gardening. He also wears a grey hat with a brim and a green kerchief tied around his neck, the latter being reminiscent of a boy scout uniform.

Around him are numerous leafy plants, some of which are taller than him. The pentacles rest in the leaves of these plants, sugesting they grew from them. A partly cloudy sky overhead completes this idyllic scene, creating the perfect spot for the figure’s quiet musings.

This card speaks of the relationship between effort and success. It reminds us that our projects are most successful and rewarding when we immerse ourselves in our work and lose ourselves in the process. The figure beckons us to find true enjoyment in the process as he has.

His stance also reminds us that there is no race. Great outcomes require us to lean to work through things and cultivate them over time and at an appropriate pace. The growth of green things cannot be rushed, nor can many other goals we may choose to work towards.

The kerchief suggests learning and kowledge of the ways of cultivation. In this respect, this card also reminds us to consult the sources of wisdom — whether that wisdom comes from ourselves or others — that will aid us in our work. Also, this card calls us to further develop that wisdom within ourselves as we proceed, as there’s always ways for even a master to improve.

It is only by doing these things that our efforts can be as rewarding and fruitful as possible.

Friends, Going Out, Health, Movies, Randomness

Great Day Yesterday

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I spent most of yesterday with Becky. We had a pretty good time. The day started with me going to the one office she works out of for a massage. I didn’t have anything in particular I wanted her to work on, so she basically did a full body massage. In practice, though, she spent most of the time on my legs.

She yelled at me during this part of the massage. I was having trouble relaxing my legs. Particularly, when she would go to move my legs, I’d move them for her. Apparently, that makes certain part of the massage process difficult to do effectively. I don’t know why it was such an issue for me. Probably because I have control issues, anyway.

Once the massage was over, I got dressed and we ran some errands together. Becky had to go to the printer to get flyers printed and get new business cards created. I ended up helping her with figuring out some of the details of her business cards — such as what color paper to use and the font to use for her name. Once we were done there, we swung by my bank so I could deposit a cashier’s check. You see, over Thanksgiving break, I decided to close out my savings account at the bank near my parents’ home. Because of the amount, I had them give me a cashiers check rather than giving me the balance in cash. So now that’s in my checkign account up here. Which is good, because I needed money to pay rent and a couple bills.

Once the errands were done, we decided to go catch a movie. After looking over our options, we finally decided to see “Deja Vu.” Personally, I thought it was a pretty good movie, though I found some annoying inconsistencies in the underlying concept. (Warning: Stop here if you don’t want any spoilers.) The big problem is they never made up their mind whether they wanted past events to be unchangeable with a single, permanent timeline or whether they would allow changes to the past to spawn alternate timelines. As a result, they ended up alternating between the two scenarios based on what was convenient for the plot. The end result was that they created a alternate timeline in the end, but allowed things that should have been only in the alternate timeline (such as finding the ATF agent’s fingerprints in the victim’s home) appearing in teh original timeline anyway. So it got messy. But other than that, it was a good movie. And Denzel Washinton was as great as ever when it came to playing his part.

After the movie, Becky and I went to check out Red Robin, which just opened here in the past couple of weeks. It was a pretty nice experience, though it’s quite obvious that they’re not kidding about their reputation of being a “Burger and Spirits” establishment. They’re just about the only things on the menu. But the BBQ burger I had was excellent and the desert was practically orgasmic, though entirely too big. Fortunately, Becky was there to help me eat it all. And of course, there were plenty of cute guys to check out.

All in all, I felt it was a delightful day.

Introspection, Personal Development, Religion, Tarot

Tarot Musings: Seven of Swords

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Deck: Robin Wood Tarot
Card: Seven of Swords

A man shrouded in a gray hooded cloak is climbing over a waist-high stone wall. Only eyes, nose, and mouth are visible from within the hood, wearing a scowl that suggests anger and bitterness. Sticking out from beneath the man’s cloak are four swords, while a line of tents is visible in the background, suggesting an encampment from which the man stole his treasures. His left boot rests on a flat surface of stone that sticks out halfway down the visble side of the wall, aiding the man in his escape.

This sword speaks of ill-begotten gain, both material and intanglible things which we have aquired in less than honorable ways. Like the man on the card, we sneak away feeling that we have gained something, but at the expense of our own integrity. Most often, these occasions occur when we feel that we are due something and have been cheated out of it. After all, the expression on the man’s face makes it clear that he feels that his pilfered blades are rightfully his. Perhaps he too feels that he was beguiled out of them unjustly and sees his thievery merely as the best way to rectify the situation.

However, this card reminds us that even the right result achieved in less than honorable ways robs us of something greater. While the man may be collecting what is rightfully his, his methods of doing so shall permanently mar him as someone who is slippery and less than trustworthy. Indeed, the relatively small size of his stepping stone in the escape — barely big enough to rest his boot upon — suggests a precarious path, and one that can easily result in a sudden downfall. And so it is with the path of going to dubious means to aquire our goals, no matter how noble they may ultimately be.

This card calls us to consider our methods of getting what we want and going where we want to be. It calls on us to be upright in our dealings, even when those we deal with fail to return the favor. After all, the way in which we make the journey for ourselves can have as lasting effect on us our final destination.

Introspection, Personal Development, Religion

Peer Pressure in Strange Places

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Just last night, I started participating on a religious discussion message board on another site. I’ve met some interesting people, but I’ve also noticed there seems to be a very large contingent of people who are using the sight for a good bit of ego-stroking and demonstrating their own “spiritual superiority” (whether it takes the form of righteousness or enlightenment) at the expense of others. It makes for a harsh evironment, in many ways. I’m just hoping that those of us who are interested can create enough positive discussion to make it worthwhile.

But the big thing I noticed was how easy it would be for me to slip into the same kind of posturing. Each time I read an ego-driven post there, I find myself sorely tempted, almost eager, to tear the person down, with the painful realization that my own motives at heart are equally ego-driven. It troubles me how easily I could fall into that same trap just by being around it.

As such, I need to work on guarding myself against that temptation.

Friends, Tarot

Tarot Musings: Three of Cups

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Deck: The Cosmic Tribe Tarot
Card: Three of Cups

Three cups rest towards the bottom of the card, forming an equilateral triangle between themselves. Hovering over these cups, positioned in such a way as to suggest they each just emerged from their own cup, hover three golden fairies. The two on the “outside” strike poses that suggest both playfulness and a bit of showing off. The figure to the left is holding the hand of the fairy in the center — who is also slightly lower than the outter two. The center figure appears to be reaching for the foot of the third figure, as if to grab hold of her as well. Golden rays of light also rise from within each o the cups, casting the figures and the entire card in a warm glow.

This card suggests both playfulness and togetherness, and the relationship these two qualities have with one another. Individually, each figure is light and free, full of joy and fun. And yet, by joining together, they each augment and improve on one another’s joy. The end result is a unified bliss that is more than the sum of each individual’s lone experiences.

The relationship between the figures in the image also suggests that is the fairy’s ability to free themselves from worry and have fun — both individually and collectively — that keeps the bond between them so strong. It is their unity in joy that enables them to maintain their partnership.

This card calls us to look at our own relationships, past present and future and examine why we maintain and cherish them. While maintaining healthy relationships are hard work, healthy relationships also lead to the kinds of benefits, most notably joy, which make that work well worth it. It is important that we keep that in mind in all of our relationships, lest we lose sight of why they are important to us during those moments when such bonds are painfully tested.

Personal Development, Tarot

Tarot Musings: One of Disks

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Deck: Tarot of Transformation
Card: One of Disks
Keyphrase: Birth Into Form

This card has a number of eggs and seeds in the foreground. The largest egg is lying on the ground, surrounded with grass and other plants. A brown haze round it suggests a nest, cushioning the fragile container. The other eggs and seeds hover around and just above this one, suggesting an almost ethereal, not quite real quality to each of them.

In the center of each egg and seed is either a light spot — suggesting an inner glow — or a pattern. This hints of the new life growing within, waiting to burst forth when the time is right. It suggests the new beginnings that is so often assocated with the the one or ace card of each suit.

This card symbolizes and embodies that point in any process where an idea, concept, or thing first starts the journey out of the mental and/or spiritual realms to manifest in the physical world. It marks the transition from thinking and planning to acting and doing.

It’s important to note that this card speaks not of the completion of that transition, but the process itself as it is occurring. A seed is not a plant, nor is an egg a chicken. It is merely the first physical stage, a tentative one at that, from which the end result will develop.

This transition stage is one of the most critical ones for any project, any goal, any dream, or anything else one hopes to manifest. Too often, that which was planned dies in this stage. We change our minds and don’t move forward. We don’t pay enough attention to the situation or properly nurture it through the gestation and birthing process. As a result, many of the seeds we bring into existence never properly develop and grow. Instead, they remain seeds until they die and eventually break down again.

This card calls us all to consider those things we’d like to gain or accomplish and the plans we have made. It encourages us to take that next step and put action to those plans and begin the birthing process. And it reminds us to guard the process carefully, so that our desires will ultimately have the opportunity to manifest.

Deep Thoughts, Emotions, Introspection, Love, Memories, Paganism, Personal Development, Religion, Witchcraft

Turning Inward

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I’m not sure how many people read this blog any more. I know I’ve been silent for almost a month now. To be honest, I’ve logged in to write something several times since my last entry, but have never been able to get past the blank textbox.

This is one of those cases where many aspects of my life have caused me to turn inward, to work on projects and go through things that I’m not ready to post about yet. There’s just so much going on that still needs to be worked out in the stillness of my own mind before broadcast to the world, and as such, I leave what readers I may have wondering what’s going on.

What I can say is that my spiritual life is getting rather interesting right now. There are certain things that I need to work on and certain changes in my life that I’m making in order to prepare for the “next big step.” At some point, I hope to talk about some of that. But for now, I must leave it at this simple teaser.

I’m also working on a writing project, which I have several guides telling me will eventually coalesce into a publishable book. However, I’m in the very early stages of that process. Currently, I’m at the point where the project involves me spending regular times with a separate journal (as opposed to my “everyday” one) and writing about past experiences, people, and choices that I can remember, and my emotional reactions to them. It’s been both a rewarding and trying process, as not all of the memories or the realizations related to them are entirely comfortable. They’re not exactly painful, either. But they take a bit of processing at times.

One of the interesting things is that as I continue with this project, I find myself remembering little things that I had completely forgotten about, things that I haven’t thought about in a decade or more. That in itself can be a bit shocking. Of course, on the flip side, it’s also nice to suddenly discover that I have more memories of my life before high school than I might’ve thought. They’re just there waiting to be found.

Of course, a side effect of this process is that I find myself growing nostalgiac. I find myself wondering what ever happened to old friends, old school chums, and even an old lover or two. I find myself wondering what kind of people they are today. After all, it’s been at least a decade since I’ve seen some of them.

You can’t go home again. But at least you can visit. Even if only in your mind.

Emotions, Introspection

Weird mood

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I feel strange tonight. To be honest, I’m having a hard time describing my mood and emotional state. I think that the best word for describing the underlying theme is melancholy. but it’s a strange melancholy. I’m finding a certain comfort in it. It doesn’t depress me, if that makes any sense.

There’s also a strong sense of impermanence to it all. It’s as if in my sadness, there’s a deep knowledge that it will pass soon enough, departing to let my heart fill with light and joy. This knowledge lets me find comfort in my temporary darkness, wrapping it around me gently like a warm blanket as I wait “sunnier” times.

It’s not like I’m totally devoid of joy, anyway. Evenin my morose state, I can see the myriad little bright spots. I can see where I have treated myself with more honor and respect than I have in the past. I know I have friends I can turn to when I need an ear, and have even dared to call on them to offer those very services. I am loved, and I know it. What is a little sadness in the face of that?

The thoughts of a gay witch living in upstate New York.