My friends are mean

8 April 2007 Jarred Leave a comment

I figured since I wasn’t heading home for the holiday until today, I’d head out a little later in the day so that I could go visit friends at Psychic’s Thyme. Michele was working today, and Belinda came up with her for the day, as they planned on spending the evening in the city after the store closed. Char was there, too, which made for a pleasant visit.

Apparently, Michele and Belinda had decided to go to Macaroni Grill. Char decided to join them, and they also invited their friend, Jim. I was also invited, but I figured my mother would kill me if I didn’t come home. So I yelled at my friends for picking a day to do something like that when I couldn’t join them. Of course, they offered to call my parents that I wouldn’t make it home because they’d tied me up, but I didn’t figure Mom would buy that. So I came home and missed out on all the fun. Hopefully, it won’t be more than a month (and hopefully less) before we have another outing like that.

This coming Wednesday is another COAP game night. I’m already looking forward to it. I’ve enjoyed the last two game nights I’ve been to. I especially enjoyed the one two weeks ago because after the games were put away, a few of us stuck around and chatted for a bit. In many ways, that was even more enjoyable than the game playing. Of course, playing the games together helped create an atmosphere where conversation could flow more freely. I’m finding that it’s a lot easier to talk once you’ve spent an hour stealing cards out of each other’s hands or screwing each other out of points and talking about getting even the entire time. When you stop and think about it, though, that’s rather messed up. The games get rather cutthroat, and yet we’re able to set it all aside in the end and act like great friends. But then, I suppose my friends at college had a similar sort of dynamic going in our relationships.

Car

I guess it could’ve been worse

7 April 2007 Jarred Leave a comment

The mechanic got me in and back on the road in under half an hour. It turns out that one of the lines hadn’t been tightened properly and was still leaking brake fluid. So they took care of it and wished me a good day.

While I’m certainly glad that they got me in so quickly, were able to fix the problem easily, and didn’t even try to charge me (which was smart of them, considering they were the ones who improperly tightened the line), I did feel like they could’ve been a bit more apologetic about the whole incident. After all, we’re talking about my brakes. That sort of slip-up could’ve had me unable to brake as I came upon slow-moving traffic on one of the interstates. Or it could have left me unable to stop at a red light. And even though it wasn’t that major, it still meant that I had to postpone my travel plans for a day, rearrange my schedule to drive back to the mechanic, and spend the time — which was inconvenient no matter how brief — waiting for them to look at the problem and fix it.

Originally, the mechanic hadn’t even planned on telling me what was wrong. He just pulled the car out front, walked in, and told me I was good to go. I had to ask him what the problem was. And then he told me matter-of-factly without so much as a “sorry about that.” Call me crazy, but even the slightest admission of guilt over the original mistake would’ve been nice.

Of course, I should note that Louie, the guy who usually books appointments and otherwise interfaces with the customers, wasn’t working today. I suspect if he had been, things would’ve been different. Louie’s the kind of guy who thinks about these kinds of things and does his best to make sure the customer feels okay about everything. But geez, if the other guys in the shop can’t even manage to acknowledge they screwed up and offer even a brief apology for it, maybe they should just close the garage on days Louie isn’t there.

Car

Argh!

6 April 2007 Jarred Leave a comment

This evening, while driving home from work, my brake light came on again. What’s worse, it’s not turning off this time. Considering that the brake light was the whole reason the silly thing was in the garage over the weekend and for the first two days of this week, I am not a happy camper.

I have called my parents and informed them that I will not be driving home tonight due to the fact that I need to go have words with a mechanic. Dad’s offering to come pick me up for the weekend so I can be home with them. If my car is not done by noon, I may take him up on that offer. However, considering that I just paid the mechanic a significant amount of money to fix my brakes only to discover they’re now worse, I’m thinking the mechanic would be wise to move my car to the head of the queue tomorrow morning. Otherwise, I might be even less pleasant than I already expect to be.

Daily Life, Deep Thoughts, Emotions, Going Out, Introspection, Memories, Personal Development, Writing

Day in Review

5 April 2007 Jarred Leave a comment

I lost my cell phone this morning. When I got to the customer site, I went to take it off my belt, only to find the belt clip was empty. I couldn’t do anything about it, so I prayed that I somehow left it at home (not really a possibility, given the belt clip was with me) and went in to work. After work, I decided to run right home to check. My neighbor came out the front door as I got out of my car. It turns out that I had lucked out. Apparently, I knocked the silly thing off while dusting the snow off my car this morning. My neighbor had come home at lunch and found it. So I thanked him profusely and hopped back into my car to head for Equal Grounds.

I almost went to Jitters here in Henrietta instead. As of yesterday, the POC started having our weekly Meet and Greets there, and I found it an incredibly enjoyable place. However, I decided I wanted the slightly more cozy atmosphere of my old haunt, so I made the drive to the South Wedge. While there, I wrote some erotica and the next chapter of Journey.

While there, a couple other patrons watched Hide and Seek. I glanced up from time to time to watch the giant screen (it was less than four feet from me) for a few seconds, but I mainly focused on the writing. From what I saw, it was a pretty bizarre movie, and I never expected the ending.

The new chapter in Journey is about my longest relationship. It was a strange one to write. I’m finding that as the events I’m writing about get closer and closer to the modern day, it’s a little harder to write. Of course, part of that is because the issues Ihave to write about are things I’m still working on in some sense. This became apparent as I wrote the last few paragraphs of this chapter. I realized that the end of that relationship was about realizing what I deserved and demanding it. That’s something I’m still working on right now, and the need to continue insisting on the kind of love, affection, and attention I both want and deserve is a lesson that’s getting driven home right now.

Introspection, Movies

Another example of why I’m the male Mary Poppins.

4 April 2007 Jarred Leave a comment

While responding to a comment that Artharaja left me a couple days ago, I found myself reminded of a small exchange from the movie “Mary Poppins” that I’ve always loved. It’s a brief exchange between Mary and the children’s father which I believe comes shortly after the whole scene with the chimney sweeps. After the children run upstairs, the father begins to get quite agitated and demands that the nanny explain herself. After listening to him, Mary responds by saying, “Well, the first thing that you need to understand is that I never explain myself.” Upon uttering these words, she trots up the stairs after the children.

What makes this scene so great, and clearly demonstrates that Julie Andrews is an acting goddess, is the delivery of that single line. The first part of the statement (that which I didn’t italicize) is spoken with a calm, almost conciliatory tone. However, once the nanny begins the second portion of her statement (the italicized portion), her tone undergoes a transformation into something that clearly tells the father, “You may pay my salary, but do not make the mistake of thinking you’re my boss.” Mary’s entire response and the delivery of that response makes it clear that this is a subject that will tolerate no debate. It’s an attitude that I can completely appreciate in many situations.

Of course, Mary Poppins has the distinct advantage of living in a film world that caters to her every whim. The father must continue to sign her paychecks simply because the script says he must. Should I choose to take such an approach with my own employer, I could find myself collecting unemployment in the near future. And despite the fact that I am likely able to gain a great deal of leeway with my employer due to being a great employee, I have no delusions that I’m the superman that Mary Poppins is (diary name aside).

And yet, there are those areas in my life in which I can get away with such an attitude. A good number of my friends are willing to put up with a certain amount of obstinance on my part simply because they know that I’m a good friend. (Of course, it helps that I don’t abuse the privelege as a rule.) And in those social situations where such an attitude might cost me something, I’m in a position where I can actually choose to accept the loss. Like Mary, I can simply say my peace and walk away. The trick is making sure I’m prepared to walk away and can live with that choice.

Car

Back to Boring Burgandy

4 April 2007 Jarred Leave a comment

This morning, I turned in the queermobile and picked up the keys to my more sensible Mercury Sable. I’m going to miss that little lavender ride, though I’m glad I don’t have to pay another day’s rental on it.

I first went to the mechanic’s shop to get the bad news. It was bad indeed, but my bank account didn’t die despite the fact that I bled it hard to pay my bill. The guy at the counter was quite sympathetic and commented on the fact that Ford vehicles seem to be notorious for having their struts and springs go bad pretty quickly.

I then took the time to move the half dozen items I needed for work from the queermobile over to my car before hopping back into the lavender delight to drive the final two blocks to its rightful owner. They quickly checked the car out and offered me a ride to wherever I needed to go. If the weather hadn’t been rainy, I would’ve turned them down and counted the two block trek on foot a good thing for my under-active body. But having a mild aversion to dampness, I graciously accepted the offer.

I believe the name of the young man (I’m guessing he’s in his early to mid twenties) who gave me a lift was Jeff. We had a pleasant enough conversation, and I realized just how witty and friendly I can be. And well, let’s just say that Jeff wasn’t exactly hard on the eyes. At any rate, we got to the mechanic and I hopped into my car to head on to work.

I must say that upon climbing into my car, my dreams of painting it lavender quickly died. My interior has way too much of a brown tint (it’s actually a shade of beige) to go well with that kind of exterior color. And considering that the seats are all leather, I refuse to redo the interior just to match the color. So for now, I’ll have to live with a burgandy car.

I’m going to miss that little PT Cruiser.

Going Out, Introspection, Personal Development

Some things are better learned at a younger age

3 April 2007 Jarred Leave a comment

One of the things that I’m realizing right now is just how little I know about building and maintaining a social life. A simple matter of getting tickets to a comedy show and finding someone to go with strikes me as intimidating. And yet, these are things that people do all the time.

But then, most people have been doing things like this since their youth. To me, this whole idea of getting out and having a fun night on the town is pretty new. And that’s a pretty disconcerting epiphany to have. In retrospect, I wish I had made more of an effort to do these kinds of things when I was younger.

Of course, growing up in rural Pennsylvania didn’t help that. For youth in my hometown, the options were pretty much limited to going to church events (which I did a fair share of, myself) or find the nearest drinking party. The latter was completely not me. I didn’t drink, and certainly didn’t believe in underage drinking. Besides, I had little in common with those holding such parties.

Some of the more fortunate individuals could possibly go to the Arnot Mall just across the state line. There, options including just hanging out at the mall, shopping, or catching a movie. Unfortunately, I didn’t have transportation, nor knew anyone who did. As a result, I had a substantially quiet life at home, spending most of my time in solitude.

In college, I was a bit more socially active. I had the friends from Acts 29 and InterVarsity. But even then, we tended to hang out in someone’s room. Occasionally, we might catch a movie as a group or run to one of the restaurants. Or we might even occasionally catch a play produced by the school’s drama department. But we didn’t spend a lot of time going out into the world.

After college, it was back to rural Pennsylvania. This time I had a car, and could go to the more populated areas about half an hour away. But at this point, I had no real close friends, and the idea of going to most events alone frightened me. And I certainly wasn’t aware of most events in the area.

So I find myself having to learn little things here in Rochester, like how to find out about local happenings. I know that there are shows and concerts of all kinds throughout the area, but I’m not entirely sure how to best “plug in” to hear about them in time. (This is probably one of the reasons I jumped on the Vickie Shaw thing so quickly.)

And then there’s the issue that I still don’t want to go to most things alone. Now, the good news there is that I have a handful of friends here. Providing they’re available, I can probably convince one of them to go to just about anything I’d be interested in checking out. But it’s a new mode of thinking that I’m going to have to get used to. And as I said in the beginning, I can’t help but feel like this is something most people learn to do at a younger age and find it much more natural than I do now. That’s a bit frustrating right now.

Going Out, Introspection, Personal Development

Taking a chance on having fun

3 April 2007 Jarred Leave a comment

This afternoon, I received an email from the COAP mailing list. Apparently, the folks who run the ImageOut Film Festival have arranged for comedian Vickie Shaw to perform here in Rochester on April 20th. I’ve never heard of her before, but figured that I like to laugh, and a night out is always a good idea. So I ordered a couple of tickets.

You heard that right, I ordered two tickets. I decided that since I’m doing something as radical as actually developing a social life for myself, I might as well go all the way and even plan to invite someone to go with me. With any luck, one of my friends will be equally interested in an opportunity to get out and do something entertaining for an evening.

I have to admit, this is somewhat ambitious for me, and it has me feeling a bit weird. Normally, I’d wait until the last minute, hope I could still get a ticket, only get one, and go alone. But I realize that there’s an inherent problem with that modus operandi. The whole point of going to something like this is to have a good time. The way I do these things, I go with the anticipation that I won’t have a good time. What should be fun becomes a matter of obligation, and I end up only going through the motions. So I’m hoping that by getting the tickets somewhat in advance and anticipating finding someone to go with, I can set new expectations for myself. And hopefully, these new expectations will create a better quality of experience. Here’s to hoping.

Paganism

Closing the doors

2 April 2007 Jarred Leave a comment

This weekend, we cleaned out the POC office. Our lease expired at the end of March, and we chose not to renew. At this point, we simply don’t have the money to keep a permanent space. So it was time to close the doors, and start making other plans.

The POC isn’t going away, mind you. We still plan on maintining a presence on the web. Also, we will continue to have Meet and Greets on Wednesday nights. This Wednesday, we will be meeting at Jitters Cafe in their Southtown Plaza location. And tomorrow night’s meditation will be at the small park on Gregory Street, just off of South Avenue.

I’m hoping that the next several months will give us the opportunity to regroup, rebuild, and make new plans. Someday, we will probably try getting a permanent space of our own. But in the meantime, we need to work up on building up our resources, both financial and otherwise.

Car

Maybe I should keep the queermobile after all

2 April 2007 Jarred Leave a comment

Today, the mechanic called me about my car. The back brakes need to be replaced. That’s no big deal, as it’s overdue. Unfortunately, I was also overdue in replacing the struts. As a result, the springs have broken, and the whole strut assembly on the back need to be replaced, too. I actually had to sit there and check my bank account balance while I was on the phone with the mechanic. I figure I’ll have to put off paying most of my bills until I get paid this Friday, but I should otherwise have the money for it. Which is good, because I can’t really forego having my car.

The other bad news is that they can’t get my car done until closing tomorrow night at the earliest. It’s entirely likely they’ll have to take the repair work into Wednesday, too. That means renting the car for another day. Fortunately, I had the foresight on Saturday to verify that I can just call the rental company and tell them I need to extend my rental period over the phone. So that’s what I’ll be doing tomorrow evening.

I’m not entirely thrilled to have to be shelling out all this money at once. But in many ways, it’s my own fault. I hadn’t had the car in to check basic maintenance things in a while. Had I done so, I might have been able to catch the struts before the springs broke. But there’s no point in kicking myself too badly. As for the struts themselves, they should’ve been replaced as a course of standard maintenance, anyway. So it’s not like these are unreasonable repairs.

It’s still a bummer, though.

Musings of a Wyrd-Worker