One of the things I enjoy doing with this blog is looking over the site statistics and paying particular attention to what search phrases people use that land them on my blog.  Some of them can be downright amusing.  Others can be rather thought-provoking.  Still others manage to be both of those things at the same time.  Then on rare occasion, I run across a search phrase like this one from a few days ago:

i get a funny feeling around my friends gay

Now maybe I’m completely misreading this, but I picture a teenager (or maybe someone a bit younger) sitting at the computer after having realizing that have “funny feelings” (and I won’t try to guess what those feelings actually are) around their friends who happen to be the same sex as them and trying to understand what this means.  I imagine they’re experiencing a sense of confusion and maybe fear.

If my imagination has any resemblance to reality, I sincerely hope that this young person has someone they feel they can trust enough to talk to, and that said person will listen to them.  I know I would have loved to have someone to talk to back then.  Someone who would have just listened to me without passing judgement or telling me what I should do.  Someone would have have just listened without trying to tell me what I was feeling or what I was supposed to be feeling.

In college, when i finally did start talking to my friends about my feelings — I had finally figured out and admitted that they were romantic and sexual in nature at that point — I had friends who were all too happy to offer their advice on what I should do.  Some wanted me to pray away the gay.  Others wanted me to just accept that I was gay.  To be honest, I found both sets of advice to be rather unhelpful, because I knew I had to figure out what I wanted and needed to do.  I wished that more of my friends had been more willing to simply let me talk things out and exploring what I was feeling at the time.

So as I read that search phrase, I found myself hoping that the person who submitted it has at least friend that can do that for them.

As an aside, I have recently created a contact form for anyone who wishes to reach me.  Because I’m always willing to listen too.  Confidentiality guaranteed.