As regular readers of my blog and Twitter feed might know, I consider myself a devotee and follower of Freyja. I mean, I’ve mentioned her a few times.

I started getting close to Freyja and feeling her draw me in during what I would call the third phase of my search for my own place in Paganism. This was after i had read enough books about eclectic Wicca to know it wasn’t quite right for me and then spent time learning Irish mythology and not quite connecting with the Tuatha de Danaan. A friend realized that my eyes lit up whenever I started talking about runes and the myth and lore that surrounded them and rightfully determined that I was meant for a Norse path. So I started looking into books about Norse mythology and even joined an Asatru organization. And I found Freyja.

At this time in my life, i was very much of the opinion that I needed to have a close relationship with both a god and a goddess. At the time, I had planned on building a relationship with Thor (that…didn’t happen). As I looked over the Norse goddesses, I decided Freyja was the best fit for me. For starters, that’s because we probably have the most information about her. The only other goddess that we know the same amount about is Frigga. The rest, like Sif and Skadi, get a mention here or there and that’s it.

Also, I liked Freyja because she was all about the sex. As a gay man who had only been out for…I’d guess four or five years at that point, I was drawn to how unapologetically sexual and passionate she was. I felt like I needed that kind of energy in my life. She didn’t see sex as nothing more than a way to make babies and she celebrated sex — and sensuality in general, which was also important to me — as something to simply enjoy and celebrate.

Of course, it also helped that she was a goddess of witchcraft, and a particular form of witchcraft called seidr. (Pronounced “sayth, where the “th” is soft like in “these.”) Seidr was also deeply attractive to me, as it’s very shamanistic in nature. Exploring the spiritual realms, relying on intuitive abilities, and communicating with spirits or entities is a common practice. So building a relationship with the goddess who taught both the other gods and mankind seidr seemed like a good idea.

As I’ve gotten to know her, I realize that another thing that draws me to her is her unrestrained and often untamed nature. In terms of sexuality, her brother, Frey, is also about sexuality and fertility. But he seems to express it in a more restrained, “civilized” manner. He has always struck me as the type who mostly plays it safe and stays within the bounds of human society, maintaining good order and making sure the land produces food and whatever else the community needs.

His sister, however, seems to prefer to run into the wild places. Or soar overhead in falcon form. If she comes into the “civilized” places, she tends to bring her wildness with her. (And if, like me, you believe that Gullveig and Freyja are the same person, you realize this can sometimes cause problems.)

My personal experience suggests that she’s not a huge fan of many of the trappings of “society.” It’s not that she’s against society or social customs altogether. She just thinks they can get in the way at times. “She obviously likes him. He obviously likes her. Why do they keep tap-dancing around like a couple of nervous soldiers heading into battle? They should just go ahead and hook up already.” That sort of thing. It’s weird having to explain to a goddess that some humans would suffer unpleasant consequences if they were as direct and blunt as she tends to be. (She finds those consequences ridiculously unjust, in case you were wondering.)

Anyway, those are just some random thoughts about Freyja and my personal history with her. How about you? Do you have a relationship with a particular deity? Feel free to share your own thoughts about and experiences with them in the comments!