Tag Archives: Freyja

Paganism, Witchcraft

Ramblings about Freyja from a Devotee

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As regular readers of my blog and Twitter feed might know, I consider myself a devotee and follower of Freyja. I mean, I’ve mentioned her a few times.

I started getting close to Freyja and feeling her draw me in during what I would call the third phase of my search for my own place in Paganism. This was after i had read enough books about eclectic Wicca to know it wasn’t quite right for me and then spent time learning Irish mythology and not quite connecting with the Tuatha de Danaan. A friend realized that my eyes lit up whenever I started talking about runes and the myth and lore that surrounded them and rightfully determined that I was meant for a Norse path. So I started looking into books about Norse mythology and even joined an Asatru organization. And I found Freyja.

At this time in my life, i was very much of the opinion that I needed to have a close relationship with both a god and a goddess. At the time, I had planned on building a relationship with Thor (that…didn’t happen). As I looked over the Norse goddesses, I decided Freyja was the best fit for me. For starters, that’s because we probably have the most information about her. The only other goddess that we know the same amount about is Frigga. The rest, like Sif and Skadi, get a mention here or there and that’s it.

Also, I liked Freyja because she was all about the sex. As a gay man who had only been out for…I’d guess four or five years at that point, I was drawn to how unapologetically sexual and passionate she was. I felt like I needed that kind of energy in my life. She didn’t see sex as nothing more than a way to make babies and she celebrated sex — and sensuality in general, which was also important to me — as something to simply enjoy and celebrate.

Of course, it also helped that she was a goddess of witchcraft, and a particular form of witchcraft called seidr. (Pronounced “sayth, where the “th” is soft like in “these.”) Seidr was also deeply attractive to me, as it’s very shamanistic in nature. Exploring the spiritual realms, relying on intuitive abilities, and communicating with spirits or entities is a common practice. So building a relationship with the goddess who taught both the other gods and mankind seidr seemed like a good idea.

As I’ve gotten to know her, I realize that another thing that draws me to her is her unrestrained and often untamed nature. In terms of sexuality, her brother, Frey, is also about sexuality and fertility. But he seems to express it in a more restrained, “civilized” manner. He has always struck me as the type who mostly plays it safe and stays within the bounds of human society, maintaining good order and making sure the land produces food and whatever else the community needs.

His sister, however, seems to prefer to run into the wild places. Or soar overhead in falcon form. If she comes into the “civilized” places, she tends to bring her wildness with her. (And if, like me, you believe that Gullveig and Freyja are the same person, you realize this can sometimes cause problems.)

My personal experience suggests that she’s not a huge fan of many of the trappings of “society.” It’s not that she’s against society or social customs altogether. She just thinks they can get in the way at times. “She obviously likes him. He obviously likes her. Why do they keep tap-dancing around like a couple of nervous soldiers heading into battle? They should just go ahead and hook up already.” That sort of thing. It’s weird having to explain to a goddess that some humans would suffer unpleasant consequences if they were as direct and blunt as she tends to be. (She finds those consequences ridiculously unjust, in case you were wondering.)

Anyway, those are just some random thoughts about Freyja and my personal history with her. How about you? Do you have a relationship with a particular deity? Feel free to share your own thoughts about and experiences with them in the comments!

Religion

Musings on following life-affirming gods

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All Your HeartOne of the things that I love about being a devotee of Freyja is that she is extremely life-affirming.  Her embrace of passion and raising the idea of a life lived fully and joyfully to the point of being sacred is something that says, hey this life is more than a mere training ground for the next life.  It’s not something that is to be endured as a test for worthiness.  It is something that is supposed to be celebrated and lived out for its own sake1.

Now, this doesn’t mean that Freyja promotes a purely selfish and narcissistic form of hedonism.  After all, one can enjoy the joys and pleasures of this life and still find a framework for morality — even one suggested by the desire to enjoy such things.  One of the things that I love about serving a goddess who delights in and encourages such celebration of life is that she also often offers advice on how to do so in a way that is good for everyone involved.

Of course, life still has it’s down sides.  Sometimes the tears come.   But one of the things I have also learned is that sometimes, the tears come because of the joys and show just how precious those joys have been.  In some ways, I think that if the loss of the good times don’t drive us to a certain amount of wailing, we should really wonder how good those times really were.

So today, I offer this toast to life.  May you live yours to the fullest and find it well worth living.

1I suppose this is why I tend to gravitate toward a view that reincarnation is a desirable outcome rather than something to be escaped, as I mentioned in another post earlier this week.

Emotions, Grief, Love, Personal Development

Old Diary Entry: Tears of Gold

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"Freya" (1901) by Johannes Gehrts. T...

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I wrote the following entry and posted it to Bloopdiary (when I was still there) on 19 August 2005, when I was still processing through my breakup with Mike, who I had been with for four years.  I recently mentioned this entry to someone else and realized I no longer had a copy online.  So now it’s online again.  Enjoy!

As I’m getting settled into my new apartment and finding ways to establish myself in Rochester, I find myself realizing just how little I think of Mike. In some ways, I find myself in that strange state where it just doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve cried my tears, and while I feel the slight ache of being alone once again (and not getting any younger), I have a strange peace about having lost him.

It was a rough journey getting here. I found myself emotionally distraught about the whole thing. I cried so many tears. To be honest, I never realized I could cry so much over the end of a relationship when I was the person to end it. But there you have it. And I think I learned a lot about it. I came to understand one of Freyja’s myths a bit better.

When Freyja lost Od, she cried tears of gold. Indeed, according to Snorri, this is why “Freyja’s tears” became a kenning for gold. I always found the fact that her tears were gold a mild curiosity. Now I see it as an incredibly profound mystery. And I have a much greater appreciation for the value of grief. Indeed, I’d go so far as to say that true grief is a sacred act in its own right. Hence the tears of gold.

I wanted to quit being sad over the breakup. I kept wanting to “move on already.” I didn’t want to shed any more tears. I was “wasting time.” But no, the tears, the sadness, the grief kept coming. And my sweet Lady kept telling me, “No, you need this. Cry your tears. They’re my golden tears.” So I did the only thing I could do, I cried, and I explored my grief.

Then I realized why I cried so much. I was experience true grief, the kind that only comes when one loves so freely and without reservation, only to lose that love. In effect, I wept bitterly because I loved fully. And there is a certain beauty in that.

You see, I think that’s the mistake we too often make. We’re too afraid of that kind of grief, so we avoid being so vulnerable. We only love grudgingly, often holding back and never truly letting go. We do that because we think that sense of grief is bad and to be avoided.

After the past couple months, I’ve come to a different way of thinking. As painful as such sorrow and grief may be, it is in its own way a celebration. My tears were bitter, but they were born of my precious love. I came to understand that as I cherished my love, I could cherish my grief which came as a result of it. In that view, they became bittersweet, and I could see how they really were tears of gold.

I’m not sure many people would understand that. But that’s okay. I guess it’s one of those things you have to experience and come to understand yourself. Me explaining it just won’t do. But for those who do understand, I can just imagine their reaction to reading this.