As the presidential primaries have been gearing up, I — like many — have taken note of “Mayor Pete” Buttigieg, a gay white man who grew up in and is now the mayor of South Bend, Indiana and running for the Democratic nomination for president. As I’ve followed him, my concerns about what kind of president he would be, as have many other people.(1)

So many of us started to talk about our concerns and criticisms. One associate started asking for input from Black people living in South Bend regarding their experiences with and impressions of Buttigieg since the available information suggests that his policies and actions as mayor of South Bend have been disproportionately harmful for Black people. These are the kinds of things people do as a normal part of engaging in a presidential election cycle and the political process in general.

Well, some people didn’t see it that way. Fans and self-appointed defenders(2) of Buttigieg began to descend into conversations expressing these concerns and criticisms and began attacking and harassing some of us — that word “some” will be important as this conversation continues. In fact, in many cases, some of these harassers started leveling accusations of homophobia in an attempt to silence such discussions.(3)

I think it’s important to note that I personally have not been accused of homophobia or otherwise attacked. In fact, I’ve been in the exact same thread where others have been attacked, expressing my agreement with those being attacked. But the attackers gave me a free pass and continued attacking the others. So what’s the difference.

The difference that I observed is that unlike those attacked, I was a cisgender gay white man. Just like Buttigieg. The others were women and/or People of Color. In other words, the people being attacked are people who marginalized and oppressed(4) in areas where Buttigieg and I both share relative privilege. That’s an important thing to note in a world where many white cisgender gay men seem to not care about supporting or defending others who face struggles and oppression that we are personally immune from.(5) In fact, many such men will throw others under the bus and even attack them. So the fact that Buttigieg’s attackers seem to be specifically focusing their attacks on women and/or People of Color is of special concern

Watching this unfold in real time on Thursday afternoon upset me. As I fumed, it occurred to me to reach out to Buttigieg. I figured that given how much alike we are — particularly in terms of the areas of oppression we endure and areas of relative privilege we enjoy — I could make a plea as a kindred spirit. So at roughly 2pm on Thursday afternoon, I addressed a series of tweets to him, asking him to publicly and unequivocally condemn those who are harassing and attempting to silence his critics. I have periodically re-tweeted and quote-tweeted the thread, as I notice that his mentions are extremely full. Because of how quickly his mentions are so active, I also decided that maybe an email would be better, so I reworked the thread into and email which I sent to the info account for his “Pete For America” website, the only email address I could find associated with his campaign.(6) I sent it out at 5:45pm on Thursday.

So far, I’ve received no response, via neither Twitter nor email. realize that it’s hasn’t been quite 48 hours, but it seems like I should have received at least an acknowledgement that my message was received by now.(7) So I continue to infrequently send a Tweet Buttigieg’s way to remind him that people are harassing certain classes of people in the name of “defending him” and I would really like him to speak up about it.

In closing, I have also decided to turn the email I sent to him into an open letter. To that end, I have included the full text of my email in below. I would also ask any white man — especially if you happen to be cisgender and gay like Buttigieg and me — to help boost the signal on this issue. We have a responsibility to both women and People of Color to speak out when they are harassed and silenced, even when criticizing or expressing concerns about Pete Buttigieg’s political record and views.

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From: Jarred Harris [email address redacted]
To: [“info” account” at PeteForAmerica website]

Mr. Buttigieg,

I hope that this is the correct email address to which to send my concerns. Unfortunately, it was somewhat difficult to find an email account associated with your presidential campaign.

My name is Jarred Harris. I am forty four years old and live in western New York. I have many of the same qualities as you.
1.I am a man.
2.I am white.
3.I am cisgender. (To the best of my knowledge, this also applies to you. My apologies if I am mistaken.)
4.I am gay.

I come to you as someone who shares these four qualities with you. While the fourth one has almost certainly been a source of oppression for both of us, the first three grant us certain kinds of relative privilege when compared to those who do not share all of those qualities with us.

Sir, some of your supporters and self-proclaimed defenders on Twitter — and I suspect this is happening elsewhere — are using accusations of homophobia to attack, harass, and silence people — especially women and people of color (acknowledging that there is significant overlap between those two groups of people) — who are expressing concerns and/or offering criticisms of your political views and activities. This is unacceptable behavior, and I hope that you wholeheartedly agree. People — especially people who experience oppression in areas where you and I enjoy relative privilege — must be free to engage in criticism, which is an essential part of the political process. I ask that you find a way to unequivocally communicate the message that you do not approve of the weaponization of accusations of homophobia in order to silence your critics. I ask that you publicly condemn this behavior full-throatedly and with unquestionable conviction.

In closing, I would again draw attention to the fact that many of the critics being attacked thusly are women and people of color. Historically, many cisgender gay white men (and therefore organizations run by them) have fought hard to end our own oppression while ignoring or even worsening the plight of those who are oppressed in other or additional ways. I would note that this moment is an opportunity for you to demonstrably break with that history and meaningfully demonstrate that you are not such a man and other forms of oppression matter to you.

Regards,
Jarred Harris
[email address redacted]
Twitter: JarredH

***

Notes:

(1) I do not intend to go into detail about what my or others’ concerns are. However, if you read this article and this one with a critical eye, you should at least start to get a picture.

(2) For the record, I am including one individual who insists he was actually a Kamala Harris supporter until all our mean “attacks” against “Mayor Pete” angered him, so now he’s going to quit supporting Harris in retribution. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Harris is Buttigieg’s opponent in this primary. I would expect one of her supporters to be delighted to see honest criticism of and concerns about Buttigieg taking place. Furthermore, I’d expect them to see this as an opportunity to show us how Harris is better at addressing the issues that obviously matter us than Buttigieg.

(3) Let me say right now that I 100% believe that homophobic attacks have been leveled against Buttigieg since he started running for the Democratic denomination. I’ve seen such attacks and i’ve spoken out against them whenever I’ve seen them. I will continue to do so. But I know a thing about homophobia, and I can definitively say that “I’m concerned that Buttigieg doesn’t seem to care about Black lives or the particular struggles Black people face” is not homophobia. Neither is “I’m don’t feel that Buttigieg doesn’t has sufficient experience to be a good president at this time.” If you consider those kinds of statements to be homophobic, then I’m betting good money that you are one of the harassers and silencers I’m talking about.

(4) It’s important to note that some of the people being attacked and silenced are part of the LGBTQ+ community, so they actually experience the same oppression as Buttigieg and myself in addition to racism and/or misogyny (or the intersection of the two, misogynoir).

(5) In fact, my own concerns about Buttigieg’s run for the presidential nomination started out because various quotes by and articles about him left me with the impression that Buttigieg might be such a man himself.

(6) Thanks to a friend who was willing to do a little sleuthing for me, I also have his email account associated with his position as mayor of South Bend. I may send the email there as well, but I want to discuss it with someone far more familiar with the political process and political activism regarding the appropriateness of such an act.

(7) Those more experienced in this sort of political engagement are welcome and encouraged to set me straight regarding my expectations if needed. For that matter, I’d be grateful for any advice on how to be more effective in my endeavor. From those who have more experience with this kind of political engagement, mind you. If you think that you have wisdom to offer the solely flows from the some innate trait you possess (*cough* fellow white men *cough*), please save yourself the time.