Finding a new home for religious discussions

The powers that be over at the Paintball Review Forums decided to permanently remove the Religion and Philosophy forum. (They also axed the World Politics forum, but I tended to stay out of there as a rule, and don’t mind it’s disappearance.) I have to admit that I’m a bit saddened by this. While I certainly respect PBR administration’s right to make this decision — and even admit that they probably thought long and hard before making the decision — I can’t think about the handful of awesome, respectful, and insightful posters there. I’m going to miss that.

Anyone who has spent any time at any sort of religious forums quickly discover that creating an atmosphere that attacts and keeps the kind of discourses people can truly enjoy are few and far between. So when you find such a place, you tend to latch on to it. Oh, don’t get me wrong. The R/P forum at PBR had its problems But compared to a lot of places, it really managed to rise above the “noise” and get some great discussions going.

The only other forum that I can think of that might come close to that is the CPPA Forums. Unfortunately, it’s a forum that tends to focus on Christianity and it’s promotion — and rightfully so. That means that I can’t be quite as open and forthright as I felt I could be at PBR. So I guess I’ll need to start looking for a new place.

A new perspective on paid Pagan clergy

This evening, I was catching up on reading my favorite blogs. During this process, I ran across a post by Stacey (not to be confused with The Sentinel/Stace) in which she talks about what she terms “the pastor disconnect.” In it, she discusses the dismay that ministers experience when they realize how much time they spend doing administrative work for the church compared to the amount of time that they spend doing “ministry” — all of the stuff that they anticipated when feeling “the call.”

As I read Stacey’s thoughts, I could’t help but think how it relates to my feelings on Pagan clergy. As I’ve made it clear in the past, I’m not a huge fan of the concept. But as I read about “the pastor disconnect,” I found a new perspective from which to dislike the whole idea. As I read Stacey describe what new ministers go through when they realize how administrative their job is and how that’s not what they were expecting at all, I couldn’t help but thinking of someone like my friend Jasmin (or myself) eventually having a similar experience as a Pagan minister. After all, most people I know who are interested in becoming paid Pagan clergy want to do so because they want to help others grow spiritually and otherwise. So as the infrastructure to support such an effort grows, I can see these people becoming disillusioned by the increasing amount of administrative work that they’d have to do in order to keep the infrastructure running smoothly. Just like the Christian ministers that crash and burn because of this, I can easily see this becoming a huge issue for many would-be Pagan ministers — maybe more so, as we Pagans tend to be quite free-wheeling and often seem to dislike any structure that gets “too complicated” anyway.

I don’t know. Maybe paid clergy would still work out in the Pagan community. Maybe those who felt called would somehow manage to make it through it, just like so many Christian ministers do. Personally, though, I can’t help but feel there has to be a better way. I don’t know what it is. (My initial reaction would be to suggest getting people who like to do administrative stuff and pay them to do only that while the “ministers” like Jasmin do the stuff they’re strong at. But I know churches that in theory try to do that, too. And it just doesn’t work out.) Hopefully someone will figure it out.

Personally, though, if I ever decide to start doing any sort of “ministering,” I still think I’d rather do it as some sort of professional counselor rather than as a paid head of a Pagan church. In the end, I just think it’d be a more workable solution for me.

Returning from the dark

I realize it’s been a while since I posted anything. To be honest, life has been a bit crazy, recently. My project at work has hit a critical point, and I’ve been putting a lot of time and energy into sorting through some difficulties we’re having. In fact, in about half an hour, I need to leave to spend a few hours at work this morning. Yes, I have to go into work on a Saturday. But I refuse to pity myself over this.

Needless to say, by the time I get home, I just don’t have the mental capacity or motivation to sit down and write. I certainly don’t have the capacity to write something interesting or witty, which is something I still feel I need to work towards whenever I write. I hate to feel like I’m writing something that no one — not even me — will ever want to read.

However, my life hasn’t been devoid of all things non-work. I did manage to get a few odds and ends done around here. This past Wednesday, I took a two hour class in bead-making. The class used Italian glass and a propane-oxygen torch. Amazingly, I made it through both hours without burning myself a single time. Being the clumsy person I am, that’s saying something. It was an interesting experience, and I think I kind of like bead-making. The instructor was quite pleased with many of us. She said that some of us (including me, apparently) were already showing a certain level of control in the process (learning where to hold the bead in relation to the flame so that the glass is malleable but not flowing uncontrollably is a bit of a trick) that usually takes several hours of practice to develop. This afternoon, I’m going back to the studio to pick up my beads. I’m anxious to see how they turned out. Maybe I’ll even post pictures.

I enjoyed the experience enough that I’m seriously considering signing up for the next class and participating in a few of the “Open Torch” classes. Open torch is actually more of a lab where you get three hours with a torch to work on your own at your own pace. These sessions are good for experimenting more and improving technique. Also, my mother’s interesting in giving it a try, so I’ll probably end up taking the intro course with her again in a couple months.

I also had a bit of a personal conquest here on my MT blog. I have MT configured on this site so that I can set up blogs on multiple subdomains. This means that the CGI scripts are set up in the main domain. Well, due to Internet Explorer’s attempts at security, the Typekey comment validation system wasn’t quite work right. Basically, people could sign in with their Typekey account, but the comment page would never show them as logged in. All SixApart offers as a solution for this problem is instructions on how to set up IE to get around the problem.

Now, I’m a stickler about certain things. I’m strongly opposed to the idea of asking readers to adjust their web browser’s settings — especially their security settings — to make my web page work correctly. So I did a bit of research, studied the MT code, and found a workable hack to fix the problem on my end. So now, if you’re using IE and choose to use Typekey to comment, everything works beautifully.

As an aside, I highly recommend using typekey. For starters, it’s free. Also, by using it, I can make you a “known good commenter,” which means that your comments will never end up in the junk comment bin by mistake. (So far, I’ve never had that problem, but I’ve heard of other MT users finding “real” comments in the junk filter enough to be concerned about it.) Plus there’s also the handy fact that if you use Typekey, I can actually view all of your comments on a single page. I like that kind of functionality.

So that’s my life in a nutshell. Maybe I’ll have more to write later this weekend. After all, I am going to a psychic faire this afternoon (weather permitting).

Grumpy Single Guy Woes

Today is January 25. It’s Mike’s 30th birthday. I have to admit that some petty portion of me would love to write him an email or text message saying something to the effect of, “Congratulations, you are now thirty and single, and it’s all because of your own bad choices.” I’m not proud of wanting to be so snotty and petty, but I don’t want to deny it either.

To be honest, I have to admit that a small part of me had kind of hoped that he would come to his senses as today rushed in. I had hoped that the sense of getting older would make him realize everything that is slipping (or has slipped) through his fingers, and make a miraculous turnaround. I guess that’s why I haven’t pushed to find someone else. I knew I was still feeling like this. And even though I intellectually know that irrational part of my heart is holding out for something that will probably never happen, I also know that I wouldn’t have been able to give a try at happiness with someone else a fair shot while holding on to that hope. So how does one give up hope.

I have to admit that there were a couple of cute guys at last night’s meetup. I’m pretty sure they were both gay, and they seemed great. Too bad they also seemed to be involved with each other. Figures that the truly cute ones are already together. Oh well, they were probably a bit too young for me anyways. If I was to venture a guess, I’d say they were RIT students. Me with a college guy…as fun as it sounds, I just don’t tthink it would work.

But on the bright side, it’s a step in the right direction. I’m getting out and meeting people. And I’ve seen that I really can meet someone. Who cares if they were already taken? Maybe the next one won’t be. Only time will tell. And at least I’m meeting people and expanding my possibilities.

But damn, I’m still grumpy.

Changing gears in the realm of reading

I suppose as the month of January is almost half over, it would prudent of me to post a first blog entry for January 2006. I know it’s been over a month since I posted anything, for which I apologize. December was a difficult month for me on a personal level. Part of that was due to craziness at work. Another part was due to the fact that it was my first Christmas alone after ending a long term relationship with a man I truly loved.

Another part was that my main focus in the past few entries, a series of entries reviewing Catherine Sanders’ book titled Wicca’s Charm: Understanding the Spiritual Hunger Behind the Rise of Modern Witchcraft and Pagan Spirituality, has hit a bit of a roadblock. I won’t get into too many details at this point, as I would rather cover them in future entries in that series (assuming I ever “pick up the trail” again). However, suffice it to say that I’m struggling with Sanders’s incomplete research and tendency to focus almost entirely on the most superficial aspects of the Pagan movement. (Also, her chapter covering the “history of Wicca” is full of the same misconceptions, straw men, and other flaws as most treatments of the subject, and that’s something I’m getting tired of even trying to address.) So I’ve decided to put that process on hold.

However, I recently obtained another book which I’d like to cover in my blog. This one is by Robin Wood, a artist that is fairly well known in the Sci-Fi communities and probably most famous in the Pagan and Occult community for her tarot deck. (It’s certainly one of my favorite decks.) However, the book I’ve just finished reading is her less known introduction to “Wiccan” ethics, When, Why … If. It’s a relatively small book, being about 175 pages long without the appendix, glossary, and recommended reading list, so it makes a relatively quick read. Of course, you could spend a good bit of time thinking about what she has written, and Ms. Wood includes a number of “exercises” at the end of each chapter to encourage exactly that.

I will start out to say that this is by no means an exhaustive and complete discussion of ethics, Wiccan or otherwise. But then, that’s not what the author set out to do. She makes it quite clear in the introduction that her intent was to write a book to start the Seeker out on thinking about what it means to live an ethical life, and I think she more or less achieves that goal. I particularly like the fact that the first topic she covers in the book is the topic of honesty. Ms. Wood posits that it’s only when we learn to be honest with ourselves that we can truly begin to live ethically. If we continue to make excuses for our behavior, rationalize a poor decision, or even beat ourselves up for a poor decision rather than doing what we can to rectify things and learn from our mistakes, then we will continue to be lost.

The rest of the chapters cover such topics as love, helping others, harming others (or more accurately, avoiding harming others), sex, and the difference between wanting and willing. Each of these topics are covered quite well (though I still get the impression that like many “eclectic Wiccans,” Ms. Wood falls prey to forgetting that the Wiccan Rede has six other words besides “harm none” and that those words and their arrangement bear consideration). There was very little I could disagree with.

My issue with the book falls more to the fact of what was missing. Personally, I think that any book on Wiccan ethics should include solid discussion on beauty, strength, power, compassion, honor, humility, mirth, and reverance. After all, these are the very values that the Goddess of Wicca herself calls for after telling her adherents that all acts of love and pleasure are her rituals. The author covers a good number of these virtues implicitly in her book, but it seems to me that a more explicit and substantial exploration would be in order. One can only hope that Ms. Wood or another author will consider doing so in a follow-up book.

Revisiting an old letter.

A couple weeks ago, I was looking through my old diary entries. I ran across an “unsent letter” I wrote to my ex, Zech. In it, I talked about my relationship with Mike. I decided I wanted to go back and comment on what I said there, considering how things with Mike finally ended up. Excerpts from the original letter are in italics, while my new thoughts will be in normal text.

I’m dating a wonderful guy now. His name is Mike.

Ah yes. These were “the good old days” when I actually thought Mike was a catch. (Actually, I wrote the original letter almost a full year before I broke up with Mike.) My opinion has changed since then. Funny thing is, I probably am having more fond thoughts of Zech right now than of Mike. That’s a scary thought, in some ways. Mike and I had our issues, but the “relationship” with Zech was just one huge mess. So you’d almost think that I’d have less fondness for Zech.

I suppose the fact that it’s been over seven years since Zech and I broke up, time has healed those wounds. Compare that to the fact that it’s only been six months since I told Mike I didn’t want him in my life any more, and I suppose that’s understandable. But I think there’s more to it than that. Zech and I had real issues back then, both individually and as a couple. And in Zech’s case, I can cut him some slack due to the fact that he was a lot younger — not even twenty yet. In comparison, Mike’s turning thirty in January. Being that old and still thinking it’s perfectly reasonable to tell someone, “You mean the world to me, but I’m not going to do anything to meet your emotional needs because it’ll require me to accept some personal discomfort” is unthinkable. So in that sense, I think he deserves my contempt.

But I’m slowly learning something. There’s a huge difference between you and Mike.

Unfortunately, I’m also learning there were a lot of similarities between them, too. It’s ironic that I spent so much time teaching myself to not react to Mike out of my issues with Zech, only to find out there really were some things they had in common. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad I went through that process anyway. I did need to learn that not everyone was exactly like Zech.

But in the end, both of my exes were wrapped up in their own little worlds. They were too busy trying to keep their worlds so perfectly balanced, that they were willing to sacrifice my needs and feelings if it came to it. Perhaps Mike wasn’t as dastardly about it, but does that make it any better? And besides, he also should’ve known better.

In retrospect, I think I’ve decided to re-make my rule against not dating guys who are still “in the closet” — at least to their family. I made that rule after Zech and broke it when dating Mike. When Mike and I started going together, I told him about my reservations. But I went ahead on the grounds that he was otherwise wonderful and he promised me that he’d make sure that the fact that his friends and family didn’t know about his sexual orientation wouldn’t get in the way. He broke that promise. And I’m now convinced that when push comes to shove, most guys in the closet will break that promise. So if they’re not ready to be honest with their family, they deserve a pass in the realm of relationships. They’re just not ready.

Book Review continues with Chapter Two

It’s been a while since I started my book book review of Wicca’s Charm: Understanding the Spiritual Hunger Behind the Rise of Modern Witchcraft and Pagan Spirituality by Catherine Edwards Sanders. As such, I decided to take the time to read through and review chapter two of the book, which the author gave the title, “Tired of Sitting in Pews.” In this chapter, Sanders attempts to look at the reasons that so many people are looking to find spirituality in Paganism rather than seeking it through Christianity. The four reasons that she compiles are as follows:

  1. Concern for the earth
  2. Empowerment for women
  3. Frustration with consumer culture
  4. The draw of the supernatural

What interests me here is that Sanders does not try to dismiss these reasons. In fact, she shows a certain amount of sensitivity towards these sentiments. She even goes so far as to admit that many Christians and churches do seem to ignore these matters, and can even be antagonistic towards them.

Once acknowledging these differences, she speaks of the complaint of hypocricy within “the Church” that many Pagans complain about. Again, she does not shy away from this and does not deny that these things happen. However, she does rightfully point out that not all Christians play the part of the hypocrite. She also rightfully points out that there are some less-than-perfect people within Paganism.

As she discusses the tensions between Christians and Pagans alike, as well as the preconceived notions each side has about the other, Sanders makes what is both one of the simplest and one of the most important observations about the whole affair:

Sadly, many Christians don’t take the time to get to know people like Ginny [one of the witches the author interviewed for this chapter]; instead, they judge her from afar. And, like Ginny, many Pagans judge Christians from afar. This only alienates neo-Pagans from Christians. It would be better if Christians defied the stereotypes by getting to know neo-Pagans, as the apostle Paul did.

I would add to Sanders’s thoughts that it would also be helpful if more Pagans took the time to temporarily “forget” the stereotypes when meeting a Christian for the first time and got to know that individual as a real person. Until we’re willing to stop filtering every experience through the stereotypes and our past experiences, no sincere attempt by Christians to get to know us better is likely to be all that successful.

One of the specific incidents that Sanders mentions where Christians have generated some “bad blood” involves an incident that happened three and a half years ago. (Incidentally, this is another area where Sanders demonstrates a need to be a bit more exacting in her research. The incident that she is describing did not occur at Midsummer, but during a ritual honoring the Spring equinox.) A small group of overly-zealous Christians attempted to interrupt a rite being performed outside a Craft store in Lancaster California and generally harassed those in attendance. This is one of those cases where Sanders certainly shows her willingness to look critically at some of the things adherents of her own faith have done.

Overall, I felt this chapter was a bit short and more than a little superficial. The author certainy did not cover the widh and breadth of reasons why people might leave Christianity, or what theological issues individual Pagans might have with Christianity. For example, she did not consider the fact that many Pagans question the need for “salvation,” or the fact that many find Christianity’s all too common focus on the afterlife to be rather life-negating in nature. It’s not clear to me whether Sanders just picked the “top four” reasons she ran across and chose to focus on them, or whether she really believes those four reasons actually “cover all the bases.”

Wicca’s Charm: Chapter 1 Review, Part 2

In a previous post, I began reviewing chapter one of Catherine Sanders’s book, Wicca’s Charm: Understanding the Spiritual Hunge Behind the Rise of Modern Witchcraft and Pagan Spirituality. In this entry, I hope to complete this review.

After discussing “Wiccans'” disbelief in Satan and the fact that they are not horrible devil worshippers, Sanders turns her attention to trying to explain the belief in magic and spellwork. This is no easy task for most Pagans and witches, let alone a Christian journalist, and I admire Sanders’s care and effort in writing about this topic. She begins this discussion by offering Starhawk’s definition of magic (personally, I prefer Crowley’s definition), as well as an example Starhawk has used to clarify and further explain her definition and how magic works.

One of the things that disappoints me is that Sanders does not discuss any Pagan beliefs concerning the source or nature of that power (hopefully, she will cover it in a later chapter). I believe this to be a fairly serious oversight, as I believe that the understanding of the source of the witch’s power — that the witch generates that power with her own body — is an essential key to grasping many profound truths within the Craft. Of course, not all Pagans and “Wiccans” agree with me on the importance of this understanding, and this may explain Sanders’s ommission of that particular point.

Sanders then goes into some of the common themse that most “Wiccans” will agree on, such as the perception of the Goddess as the Mother Goddess and the God as her Horned Consort. I do get the impression that her sources all tend to believe that “all gods are one and all goddesses are one,” and this shines through in her descriptions of the God and Goddess. She also mentions the eight Sabbats and thirteen esbats.

She also mentions the commonly accepted symbol of the pentagram. Unfortunately, she does propagate an incorrect belief that runs rampant in the Pagan community — another sure sign that all of her sources come from a closely related subgroup of the greater Pagan community. This is the belief that “Wiccans” and Pagans eschew the inverted (“one point down”) pentagram, indicating that it is a symbol of Satanists. While it is true that Satanists have often made use of the inverted pentagram, they do not have a monopoly on that form of the symbol. There are indeed magical and religious traditions outside of Satanism that make use of the inverted Paganism. Unfortunately, by propagating this particular falsehood, Sanders is unintentionally encouraging her Christian readers to jump to incorrect conclusions if they happen to run across a practitioner of one of those traditions who do make use of an inverted pentagram.

Sanders then goes into a discussion about the Wiccan Rede and the Threefold Law. This is of particular concern to me. Unfortunately, far too many people in the Pagan community think that these two items make up the sum total of Pagan ethics. This is completely untrue, as some Pagan groups don’t subscribe to either the Rede or the Threefold Law. Even among those who do subscribe to them, the way they are interpreted can vary greatly and widely. And many groups have further gudelines and factors to consider in their ethics. (Personally, I’ve always felt that the line in the Charge of the Goddess that calls for reverence, humility, compassion, and similar values was far more helpful in making ethical decisions than either the Rede or the Law of Returns.)

As an aside, Sanders paraphrases the thoughts of a Salem witch named Marisa concerning Osama bin Laden during this discussion of ethics. I found Marisa’s views on that particular topic dubious at best, and it concerns me that these views were presented as universal to all “Wiccans” — or even Pagans in general. While I may disagree with how our government officials are currently handling the “war on terror” to some degree, I do not endorse a course of action of “sending the terrorist positive energy and letting them be eventually punished by the Threefold Law.” I find such a suggestion downright preposterous, and I doubt I’m the only witch who does!

Sanders then describes some time she spent observing and talking with Laurie Cabot. I will not spend any time coveing that, but will merely point out that I’m not sure what Ms. Cabot practices, but it seems to bear little resemblance to the forms of witchcraft I or those I have come to know and personally respect happen to practice. And while I respect Ms. Cabot’s right to practice as she wishes, I wish she didn’t make such an effort in presuming to “represent” all of us.

Sanders closes the chapter with a brief description of a Samhain ritual on she observed on “Gallows Hill.” This ritual seems like the standard “open rite” performed for a general public: A bit showy, but very little depth. However, it’s vibrant colors and themes does provide a pleasant closing to Sanders’s first chapter.

One thing I will note on this chapter is that Sanders refers to “Gallows Hill” as the place where the witches of the Salem witch trials were hanged. I realize that she is merely repeating what tourists are told every year. However, I do find the fact that she didn’t look into the truth of this matter as a journalist a bit disappointing. Truth be told, there are no records that indicate where the historical Gallows Hill was. Danvers’s (formerly known as Salem Village — where the trials actually took place) best efforts to uncover this information has still born no fruit.

Great Conference

Yesterday, I drove to London Ontario to attend the Saturday sessions of the Gathering Mists Pagan Conference. As this was the first year that this conference has ever been held, it had a relatively small turnout. However, as we know, quantity isn’t generally a desirable alternative to quality. And when it comes to quality, I am of the opinion that yesterday’s activities were the cream of the crop. The guest speakers were personable, clearly knowledgeable about the topics they discussed, and communicated that knowledge concisely to those of us not quite so “in the know.” The topics chosen for each workshop were also interesting and engaging.

The first workshop that I attended in the morning was “Bardic Tradition in Ritual,” presented by Greg Currie, aka “Frosty the Pagan.” Frosty discussed the various modes of musical expression from simple rhythm to complex productions where music is combined with various other ritual forms of expression. He also described the various ways in which these forms of musical expression can be used effectively in ritual, from being a “background activity” to being an integral part of the primary activity. Making use of his drum and guitar, he was able to give live demonstrations of some of the concepts he was discussing. The workshop eventually ended with full group participation in singing some chants — including one chant in which two groups sang completely different parts simultneously. As an aside, a fascinating discusison cropped up during this work shop in which everybody discussed the relationship between music and dance, especially the symbiotic relationships that tend to form between dancers and drummers during a good drumming circle.

The next workshop that I attended was “Building Respectful Relationships,” presented by Jennifer Drummond. This workshop primarily focused on becoming aware of how one’s past experiences, culture, family life, and other factors affect the way that you communicate ideas as well as being aware that similar “filters” affect how the perso you are talking to interprets what you say. Jennifer spent some time discussing tools to help with building this awareness and learning to work through the resulting communication problems. She also discussed such topics as setting boundaries and dealing with “triggers” effectively. Because of the size of the group (this is one of those cases where I felt the lower turnout actually worked to the workshop’s advantage), Jennifer was able to learn about attendees’ personal communication experiences and offer specific insights.

The third workshop I attended was “The Implications of Korean Shamanism,” presented by Castalia. In this workshop, Castalia describes the current status of the Korean mansin (pronounced “man-SHEEN”), particularly noting how they have fallen from being highly revered as political advisors to people very low on the socio-economic ladder and Korea’s “dirty lttle secret.” Castalia made a strong case in suggesting that this transition is analogous to what would have happened to European Paganism if Christians in political power had waged a war of attrition against them rather than one of persecution and violence. She also noted a number of similarities in practice and belief between these Korean shamans and the witches of Europe. To do this, she summarized various anthropoligists’ descriptions of the Kut (long U sound), a shamanic rite for exorcising the poisonous spirits from a home and blessing it. Her information was fascinating on many levels, both to see what a vibrant tradition still thrives in Korea (despite being frowned upon and attempts to keep it secret) and to see some of the parallels to modern European revivals and reconstructions.

I would also like to take a moment to mention the main ritual that was held yesterday at the conference, led by Richard and Tamara James, founders of the Wiccan Church of Canada. It was a simple, yet beautiful and touching rite. The phrasing chosen for each part in the rite was filled with skillful beauty that was only matched by the deep love an respect of those who participated. I have participated in a small number public rites, but I’d be hard pressed to think of one that I found as personally touching.

My trip also gave me an excellent chance to socialize, meet old friends, build on aquaintanceships, and meet some new people. I believe that each interraction yesterday enriched my life in one way or another. For that, I will always be thankful.

Overall, I found my experience at Gathering Mists to be enjoyable, engaging, and uplifting. I can only hope that this event will continue for many years. I would encourage anyone who can make it next year to do so. I doubt you will be disappointed.

The thoughts of a gay witch living in upstate New York.