But I like shaving my palms!

gum.jpgI’m an avid follower of FAILblog, the blog where people post the most bizarre pictures mocking something that is or just seems wrong by marking the photographs with the word “FAIL.”  Things mocked include bizarre car accidents, poorly worded signs that end up giving an unintended message, and people just doing crazy (and usually dangerous) things.

To be honest, I often find myself wondering if some pictures are faked.  The picture for the “anti-masturbatory gum” (see left) is one of those cases.  Setting aside the fact that I can’t begin to understand how gum can make you lose interest in pleasuring yourself (short of messing with hormones, which I find a rather scary thing to do just to avoid a bit of sexual relief), I just can’t imagine why anyone would WANT such a product.

Well, anyone who isn’t a repressed bundle of unexpressed sexuality who’s afraid that some Higher Power is going to strike them dead for enjoying their own bodies and the pleasure it gives them.  Thankfully, my gods tend to have a much more tolerant view of sexuality and sexual pleasure.  In fact, they think it’s something to be celebrated!

Granted, they stipulate that such celebration should be done in a manner that is responsible.  But what could be more responsible than pleasuring yourself?  Let’s face it:

  • No one has ever gotten pregnant from pleasuring themselves.
  • No one has ever gotten an STD from pleasuring themselves.
  • No one gets used or abused when you pleasure yourself.
  • Everyone involved — you — is bound to enjoy the experience.

So please, if you’re feeling the urge, give yourself to take care of that urge.  It’s far more ethical and responsible than using someone else to take care of your physical needs and hurting them in the process.

And really, am I the only one who thinks that trying to stop people from masturbating by encouraging them to develop a possible oral fixation might be a bit unwise?  😉

7 thoughts on “But I like shaving my palms!”

  1. actually… i was wondering how they thought indulging an oral fixation would prevent masturbation… then realized the same flawed freudian crap behind oral fixations IS the connection. it’s ALL about sex. though chewing gum is slightly more acceptable in a social setting…

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