Category Archives: Going Out

Daily Life, Friends, Going Out, Health, In and Around Rochester, Personal Development

Not a good way to find out you need new shoes.

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Yesterday came and went, and I’m proud to announce that at least half of the activities I had planned took place. A couple got dropped for various reasons, but I’m willing to consider my birthday celebration a stunning success. Blistered feet and all.

Granted, I could’ve done without the blisters, but it’s my own fault. And I figure they’ll heal eventually. They’re from my successful trek along the canal path from Genesee Valley Park to Schoen Place. The walk took me right about two and a half hours along and was well worth the trip.

I got up at seven yesterday morning, showered, grabbed my water bottles out of the freezer, and left the house for the day. By the time I bought a backpack (necessary for the water and snacks I was taking on the trip), had a quick breakfast on the go, and make it to the park, it was just after nine. And I was off and walking.

The weather was absolutely perfect for this walk, as it was still in the sixties when I started and ony got up to the seventies or eighties by the time I was done at half past eleven. The view was absolutely gorgeous along the way. Sometimes I was walking through areas with dense vegetation, while the trail took me through broad fields in other places. The canal was visible 90% of the time, and I even managed to see a couple boats making their way through the water. I think the best sight, however, was near the end when I managed to spot a mother mallard with several tiny ducklings. I think any of her children would have fit easily in the palms of my hand. I might’ve even been able to close my fingers around their tiny bodies. I wish I would’ve taken my camera, and plan on taking it when I repeat the walk in July.

I’ve already decided to take this trek once every month while the weather stays warm enough for me. However, I do need to be sure to plan a bit better in the future. For example, I need to get a good pair of walking shoes or hiking boots. Of course, I didn’t realize that my current walking shoes (the ones I wear every day) had some major holes in the insoles. That didn’t help the blisters that formed on my feet at all. So I will be getting new shoes, and probably a pair just for this trip. (Michele is also recommending I get the gel inserts for this walk, and I’m inclined to see wisdom in that suggestion, too.)

The other mistake I made was not getting sunscreen. My face, forehead, and forearms are nice and red. In fact, my forehead is still itching a bit from the burn. Fortunately, the backpack protected the back of my neck. I figure I may even have to consider a hat next time, as I think parts of my scalp under my hair got a bit burned too.

But despite these lessons learned, I enjoyed the trek. It was great to be in the great outdoors. And besides the sunburn and sore feet (and the fact I’ve been napping half the day today), I don’t feel any worse for the wear.

After that, I called Belinda to come get me. She didn’t realize how far out Schoen Place is from Psychic’s Thyme up on University Avenue, so she eventually was afraid she got lost and went back to the shop to get Michele. They eventually found me, though I note with some humor that my wait for my ride was over half as long as the seven mile hike I took. Of course, since Michele was working, I had her take me directly to the shop rather than having her take me to the car. Char immediately started harassing me for taking such a walk, pointing out I should’ve only gone half the distance and then walked back to my car. I pointed out to her that the whole point of the walk — and what makes it fun — is that you’re walking from a certain point to another point. I’m not sure she appreciated the concept, but that’s okay.

After the store closed, a group of us went to Red Robin. Michele and Belinda were nice enough to cover my dinner, even with the strawberry dacquiri I ordered. We had a good time and I spent my usual time ogling the various waiters that passed by. Unfortunately, our own server was a woman. That’s actually pretty good, considering I was feeling impish enough that I might’ve teasingly hit on any guy unlucky enough to get our table. I was bad enough that Jim even called me a slut. I just looked at him and asked him if it had really taken him that long to figure it out. (Of course, any of my friends know better, when it comes right down to it.)

After that, we ran to Equal Grounds to listen to the live music there. This guy was a good musician, but he doesn’t have quite the stage presence of the Monastery Dropouts. As such, we stayed in the other room where we could enjoy the music but still talk amongst ourselves without disturbing anyone else.

After an hour or so a the coffee shop, I decided I needed to get home. My feet were really starting to bother me and I was developing a headache. (Earlier today, I finally decided the headache was due to a lack of calcium. The quart of peanut butter cup ice cream seems to have solved the problem.) So we took Jim back out to Chili and Michele and Belinda dropped me off at my house so I could get to bed.

As a final note, I discovered at the end of my journey that they were having a regata in Pittsford yesterday. Had I realized that, I would’ve taken a chair with me and spent the day there after my walk. I love that sort of thing. And there were certain enough shirtless guys wandering around to keep me in eye candy.

Friends, Going Out, Health, Personal Development

If I’m going to get older, I might as well get a party out of it!

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Last Wednesday, Brian and I got talking after Game Night was done. Brian was waiting for Woody to get done looking at JOhn’s laptop, and I was just in no hurry to go back home. It’s the first chance I’ve really had an opportunity to talk to Brian much, as he only comes to Game Night rarely. (His job usually keeps him away.) In fact, besides a brief hello at the Vickie Shaw show, this was the first time I’ve seen him since the first Game Night I attended in March.

While we were talking, he paid me a huge compliment. The topic of ages came up, and I found out that Brian and Woody are actually only two years older than me. When I commented on this, Brian mentioned that he had originally assumed I was about twenty eight. I told him thank you and probably grinned from ear to ear. Believe me, considering I turn thirty three next Monday, it’s nice to find out some people look at me and still think I’m in my twenties. What can I say? I’m just superficial enough to wish I could look young forever.

I’m starting to think about what I want to do this weekend for my birthday. It’s rather funny, considering that during the 1990’s and even up until 2004, I didn’t really care much about my birthdays. I was just content to practically forget them. And yet now, I want to celebrate them and do something special for them. I suppose a lot of that has to do with the fact that my opinion of myself and my life has changed. These are things that, in my mind at least, not only deserve to be celebrated, but even demand it. And fortunately, I have friends who seem more than happy to humor me in this matter.

I’m considering taking the long walk I’ve been thinking about for the past month. I want to walk the canal trail from Genesee Valley Park to Schoen Place. I just need to find a friend who is willing to pick me up at the end and bring me back to my car at my point of origin. (That or else have them drop me off as well as pick me up.) It’d be quite a few miles and a good morning/afternoon activity.

That evening, I’ll probably go out to eat with friends. I’m thinking about pushing to go to Red Robin. Yeah, there are places with much fancier meals. But to be frank, I’d be choosing that place for the aesthetically pleasing waitstaff. Hey, I know where my priorities are!

I’m also thinking about pestering a couple of friends to go out dancing that night. It’s been close to a year since the last time I’ve been dancing, and I feel way overdue for it. And of course, I’m also thinking about getting a hotel room for the weekend. Who knows, maybe I can find a hotel that has a room with a jacuzzi available….

Deep Thoughts, Friends, Gender and Sexuality, Going Out, Introspection, Love, Personal Development

Thoughts from Game Night

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Last night was another COAP game night. It was a fun time, despite the relatively low turn-out. There are actually a number of things I could write about based on last night’s events. However, for now, I’m choosing to focus on something that came up during a discussion between Woody and Mark during the “meeting” portion of the night.

Woody and Mark have been involved in COAP for long periods of time, so they got reminiscing. At one point, Woody started talking about his history with COAP and his pattern of disappearing and coming back. One of the things that he pointed out was that often, his disappearances occurred at the same time he started seeing someone, while he came back after the relationship ended. Mark commented that this is common, and even joked that it’s the “gay lifestyle.”

At this turn of the conversation, a couple of thoughts entered my mind. The first one was a sense of relief that I’m not the only one prone to this kind of behavior. Indeed, one of the things that I realized when I started coming to COAP events was that I’d have to fight the urge to drop out when I eventually get into a relationship. So it was nice to know that other people have those same tendencies.

But then, I had to ask the question. Why is that? Why is part of the “gay lifestyle” to drop off the social circle when you meet that special someone. Is it because we see the social circle as nothing more than a marketplace for picking up our next lover? That’s certainly a frightening thought in itself!

Of course, I should note that I don’t think this is strictly a gay thing. I’ve noticed that a good number of heterosexual couples tend to lose track of their friends over time, too. After all, my parents don’t get out nearly as much as they used to (though my father does socialize more through their church than my mother does). Often, they’re content to do their work, meet a few communal obligations, then head home.

But it seems to me from my observations that it happens much more quickly and suddenly amongst gay people (especially men). While heterosexual couples may become more insular and reclusive over time, it seems like we do it at the earliest opportunity. Which I don’t think is healthy, for reasons I covered before. So why do we do it?

Personally, I think it’s in part because we’re often afraid of finding true love that we’ve become obssessed with it to the exclusion of everything else. So when we’re with someone, all of our attention turns towards building and maintaining that relationship. After all, we’re not sure when the next one is coming along (and with only a small percentage of the population to work with, finding eligible, desirable lovers can seem like a daunting task), so we want to do everything we can to make it work. So we allow other friendships and our other activities to come along. Add to this the fact that the early stages of any relationship can be quite intoxicating and addicting, and it becomes an understandable pattern.

But realizing this doesn’t make continuing the pattern a good idea. In some ways, I think it demonstrates why we — both individually and collectively — need to break this pattern.

Friends, Going Out, Humor, Music

The local bishop must really hate these guys.

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Last night, I took Belinda and Jim to Equal Grounds to hear the musical and comic stylings of a local group called The Monastery Dropouts. Unfortunately, this group doesn’t appear to have a website, so I can’t link to them (or keep track of their future performances).

I had never heard of group until a couple weeks ago when I received an email from Equal Grounds (I’m on their mailing list) announcing that they would be performing live at the coffee shop. I forwarded the email to Michele, knowing that she and Belinda would be in town the day of the show and suggested it as possible entertainment for the evening. Everyone seemed to like the idea, though Michele was unable to go with us.

The group’s act can probably be best described the way Jim put it, part cabaret, part comedy act. The two members of the show are quick-witted, funny, and sing quite well. Their musical repertoire included such songs as The Vatican Rag by Tom Lehrer. In between songs, both men would banter back and forth and even with the audience, making for a humorous atmosphere. It’s not clear how much of the banter was scripted and how much was improvisational, though both men would probably claim it’s 100% the latter. If so, I would certainly never want to get into a battle of wits with either of them.

The show was marvellous and lasted for over two hours. The four of us (Becky joined us there late) all agreed we’d go see The Monastery Dropouts again if given the chance.

Daily Life, Deep Thoughts, Friends, Going Out, In and Around Rochester, Introspection, Personal Development

This is my home now

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When I moved to the suburbs of Rochester almost two years ago, it was with some concern. I had lived in rural Pennsylvania all my life prior to the move. There were things that I knew I was going to miss. For example, I was going to miss the rare evening when I would look out the dining room window and see a black bear wandering through the yard, looking for food. I’d miss the twice daily trek of wild turkeys through the backyard during the winter as they came for the corn my father put out for them. One of the beautiful things about my life back home is that it was a nice area, surrounded with the beauty of nature.

But I gave that up, knowing I needed some changes in my life. I knew that I needed to get out where I could meet more like-minded people. I needed to find an area where I had more socialization options than going to church or going to the bar, neither of which appealed to me all that much. So I gave up my nice comfortable life in the middle of nowhere and moved to suburbia in an overgrown town along Lake Ontario. And almost two years later, I’m happy to admit that it was quite possibly one of the best decisions of my life.

I’ve come to like the fact that I live in an area where everything I want is within a five block radius of my home. I love the fact that if I decide I want to go out for a bit and do some reading or writing while surrounded by others, I have five or six different coffee houses to choose from. (And that’s not including the Great Abomination, Starbucks.) I like the fact that there’s a significant number of gay people and Pagans (and not to mention gay Pagans) that there are clubs and organizations set up for everyone to get together and socialize.

And yet, I’ve also discovered that while I may no longer have a black bear traipse through my yard, I can still find the beauty of nature here in this busy city. Rochester has no shortage of parks, and all of them are quite beautiful. My favorite one right now is Genesee Valley Park. Just yesterday, I was there and had two mallard ducks waddle past me, not six feet from where I stood. It was an incredible experience, and I even had to call a friend just to tell someone about it.

I’ve grown to truly love this area. In fact, I’m coming to think of it as home, which is not something I expected to happen when I originally moved here.

Family, Friends, Going Out, Memories, Movies

The magic of drive-in theaters

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Saturday night, a group of friends went to the Silver Lake Drive-In. We ended up watching Spiderman 3 and Ghost Rider, both of which were excellent movies. I ended up sitting in Belinda’s car watching the shows with her. The experience that night brought back a few memories.

Of course, any trip to a drive-in theater always brings back childhood memories. My parents, being frugal people, never took my sister or I to the movie theater. However, they were perfectly happy to take my sister and I to the drive-in theater a couple times each summer. Each time we’d go, they’d bundle the two of us into our pajamas before taking us out to the small drive-in (I was amazed when I learned that some places had more than one screen and offered a selection of movies to watch). I don’t remember many of the movies we saw, the only two that stick out vividly are The Fox and the Hound (which I cried at because of the ending) and Herbie Goes Bananas. I also remember that the one time we went, the second movie they showed was Canonball Run. I particularly my mother mentioning the next day that she was glad that my sister fell asleep during that movie. (We often fell asleep during the second movie, which is why we were always bundled in our pajamas.)

Back then, going to the Drive-In was a special treat. We didn’t go often, but Mom and Dad always made sure we saw at least one movie each summer. They would usually tell my sister and me a couple days in advance, and we’d look forward to the “big night” from that moment on. I suppose that’s why going to a drive-in is still a magical event to me over two decades later. There’s a certain sense to the experience that I doubt even seeing a movie at an I-Max theater could compare to in my mind.

The other memory that Saturday night brought back to me was the last time I went to a drive-in. That was during college. A group of us went to see Pocahontas with our friends Dennis and Mary and their three small children. There was a second movie we saw that night, but I forget what it was. I do remember that neither James nor I were impressed with it and spent most of the movie whispering snide comments about it between ourselves.

That was the night that I learned that some of the larger drive-in theaters have more than one screen, a fact that totally surprised me. I also remember my surprise at discovering that some drive-in theaters also broadcast the sound for their movies using a very small range FM radio transmitter. During my childhood, the theater we went to only had the small speakers that you hung on the edge of your car window.

That was also the first time that I didn’t stay in the car. Dennis backed his mini van up into the spot so that the rear of the van was facing the screen. We then all climbed out and opened the back doors on the van. Some sat in the back of the van while the rest of us lined up in front in our lawn chairs. It was a different experience for me, and quite a pleasant one.

Saturday night, we stayed in our cars (though one of the girls did go sit outside in a chair). We hadn’t brought chairs or blankets (well, the others hadn’t brought blankets, but I had one). As it was quite chilly this weekend, we decided to stay in the cars for the most part. However, a great many people did choose to go sit or lay out on the lawn in front of all of the cars. We particularly admired the family who had the foresight to bring not only sleeping bags, but bean bags to lay on and a tarp to put down and keep everything else dry with.

It was a truly magical evening, and I look forward to repeating it again. Who knows, with any luck, I might get a chance to share the experience with someone special before the summer is out.

Friends, Going Out, Health, Introspection, Memories, Personal Development

The beauty of late night strolls

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Tonight, I held the first weekly meditation at Genesee Valley Park. After doing it, I realized that we should’ve moved these meditations outside last summer, too. It added a certain pleasantness to the whole experience. It certainly helped that I added the actual sensations of the outdoors to the imagery I was using.

And of course, the fresh air was good for me. I’ve been getting a lot of that with all of these trips to the park. I’ve made it one of my goals to get there at least twice a week, and spend at least an hour and a half each week walking there. I figure that this will not only give me a chance to rejuvenate my body with clean air, but it’ll also get my blood pumping and release a few endorphins in the process.

After meditation, I went to dinner at Red Robin. When I got out of the restaurant, it was almost dark out, with just a few minutes left of dusk. Part of me didn’t want to come home. Part of me wanted to find someplace to go and enjoy more of the great outdoors. If I knew of someplace I could go where I would’ve felt completely safe, I would’ve done exactly that, too.

When I came out of the restaurant and had these moods, I found myself thinking about the many nights that I and various friends would walk down to the Susquehanna River and spend some time walking along the riverbank. We’d spend a great deal of time talking and just enjoying the experience. The memory made me realize just how much I miss that sort of thing.

There’s something about walking with a good friend or two after dark, speaking in semi-soft tones as you stroll along. It’s a setting that allows you to share deep, intimate thoughts and even be a bit more vulnerable. In fact, it doesn’t just allow it, it practically encourages it. And I could see myself doing that here along the canal if only someone like James or Tim was here.

Who knows, perhaps I will eventually find someone here I can share that kind of experience with.

Daily Life, Friends, Going Out, In and Around Rochester, Movies

Saturday in Review

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It’s been nine days since I’ve written here. As I mentioned in a previous post, that’s the thing about getting more of a life. There’s less and less time for actually sitting down and writing about all the things I’m doing and all of the things going on. Of course, I’m not exactly sure that I’d change that, either. After all, if my life wasn’t so full, it would be downright boring. However, I’m continuing to look for the balance that will work for me.

Yesterday, I spent the majority of the day at Psychic’s Thyme again. We ended up having a full house in the back room, as there were three readers on duty. Add to that the fact that Char was there, and Belinda and I were fulfilling our role as “official hangers on,” and you have quite the gaggle. Of course, the high numbers and dynamic mix of personalities made for a lively day full of energetic conversation.

If any of my readers are considering opening a Pagan, “New Age,” or metaphysical store, allow me to offer you a bit of advice. Whenever possible, make sure that those who are working there are positive people and tend to get into lively conversations. The energy such situations generate are incredible for business. One of the things that I have noticed while hanging out at the shop is that the better the time we have there, the more customers come waltzing in the front door. The number of times the laughs get interrupted because a customer needs help or someone needs their purchase rung up is just phenomenal. Of course, you have to make sure things don’t get too out of hand. There was more than one time yesterday when Char had to remind us keep the noise down a bit.

After the store closed, Michele Belinda and I went to Bugaboo Creek for dinner and then headed back to their house. I provided the entertainment in the form of Night at the Museum and Happy Feet. Both were hillarious and we had a great time. Happy Feet got a bit too agenda-oriented for my tastes towards the end, but it was still a cute movie. And the idea of tap dancing penguins is just great for a laugh.

Books, Friends, Going Out, Health, In and Around Rochester

A pleasantly spontaneous evening

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Yesterday evening was rather pleasant. After getting out of work, I ended up running over to Psychic’s Thyme. Michele was on duty and I had hoped to spend a bit of time chatting with her. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out, as she was busy actually doing readings. We were both disappointed, but glad she was getting the work, as it meant a little extra money for her.

Because both she and Lisa were pretty busy with readings, I ended up minding the store with George. This was good, as George actually had to leave at about twenty minutes before closing due to another commitment. So I spent my time keeping an eye on things and even spent a bit of time talking to one of the of the customers who was interested in getting a reading. I answered her questions about what readers worked the next few days and what services each one offered. She seemed like a pretty nice girl, and I get the impression she’ll be in on Saturday.

Michele had something of a family situation brewing, so she had to leave a few minutes early. So I stuck around a bit extra and helped make sure Lisa was okay before taking off myself. Once out of there, I decided to run to Applebee’s for dinner. While there, I read several pages in Witch in the Bedroom, a book I picked up about a month ago. So far, I’ve really enjoyed it. I plan on doing one of the exercises out of it this weekend. It’s the exercise about writing a vision letter, and I have all kinds of ideas for one running through my head. It should be an interesting experience, I think.

After I got done with dinner and reading, I decided to run to the mall for a short walk. I had originally planned on going back to Genesee Valley Park for a walk, but the threat of rain intimidated me. So I spent about a half hour wandering the halls and through various stores. It was enjoyable, and I even got treated to some pretty good eye candy. It wasn’t quite as pleasant as being out along the canal or watching shirtless college students playing softball, but I enjoyed myself well enough.

Friends, Going Out, Personal Development

I think I scared Kevin

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Tonight, since I didn’t manage to hook up with anyone to start making plans for weekly meditation, I decided to run over to Border’s and catch the second hour of the Witches Meetup that happens every fourth Tuesday there. I had a chance to see a lot of faces I haven’t seen in quite a few months and even met someone new. Overall, I had a good time.

I do think I scared Kevin when I got leaving. As I said goodbye to her, Wendy told me to be good. I invoked my usual line, asking, “Can’t I just be good at it instead.” Kevin made the mistake of asking me what I was going to be good at. This naturally had to be responded to with wagging eyebrows and a rather devious “Wouldn’t you like to know?” His expression was priceless. I guess he’ll have to learn to think about whether he’s ready for an answer before he asks any open ended questions like that again.

At one point, I had Wendy do Reiki on my neck and back. I’ve been feeling tense again lately. Several times, she commented on how much heat and pain she was getting while she worked on me, and even asked what I’d been doing. I told her I’ve just been really stressed. Fortunately, she understood.

I forgot how much fun the Tuesday night Meetup can be. Due to meditation, it’s rare that I get to go, which is unfortunate. There are a lot of people who go there but don’t necessarily get out to other events. I enjoy talking to them. I may have to see about making sure I’m not doing meditation on that Tuesday night from now on so that I can skip and go to the meetup instead. After all, it’s one more opportunity for socializing, right?