Category Archives: Going Out

Daily Life, Deep Thoughts, Emotions, Going Out, Introspection, Memories, Personal Development, Writing

Day in Review

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I lost my cell phone this morning. When I got to the customer site, I went to take it off my belt, only to find the belt clip was empty. I couldn’t do anything about it, so I prayed that I somehow left it at home (not really a possibility, given the belt clip was with me) and went in to work. After work, I decided to run right home to check. My neighbor came out the front door as I got out of my car. It turns out that I had lucked out. Apparently, I knocked the silly thing off while dusting the snow off my car this morning. My neighbor had come home at lunch and found it. So I thanked him profusely and hopped back into my car to head for Equal Grounds.

I almost went to Jitters here in Henrietta instead. As of yesterday, the POC started having our weekly Meet and Greets there, and I found it an incredibly enjoyable place. However, I decided I wanted the slightly more cozy atmosphere of my old haunt, so I made the drive to the South Wedge. While there, I wrote some erotica and the next chapter of Journey.

While there, a couple other patrons watched Hide and Seek. I glanced up from time to time to watch the giant screen (it was less than four feet from me) for a few seconds, but I mainly focused on the writing. From what I saw, it was a pretty bizarre movie, and I never expected the ending.

The new chapter in Journey is about my longest relationship. It was a strange one to write. I’m finding that as the events I’m writing about get closer and closer to the modern day, it’s a little harder to write. Of course, part of that is because the issues Ihave to write about are things I’m still working on in some sense. This became apparent as I wrote the last few paragraphs of this chapter. I realized that the end of that relationship was about realizing what I deserved and demanding it. That’s something I’m still working on right now, and the need to continue insisting on the kind of love, affection, and attention I both want and deserve is a lesson that’s getting driven home right now.

Going Out, Introspection, Personal Development

Some things are better learned at a younger age

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One of the things that I’m realizing right now is just how little I know about building and maintaining a social life. A simple matter of getting tickets to a comedy show and finding someone to go with strikes me as intimidating. And yet, these are things that people do all the time.

But then, most people have been doing things like this since their youth. To me, this whole idea of getting out and having a fun night on the town is pretty new. And that’s a pretty disconcerting epiphany to have. In retrospect, I wish I had made more of an effort to do these kinds of things when I was younger.

Of course, growing up in rural Pennsylvania didn’t help that. For youth in my hometown, the options were pretty much limited to going to church events (which I did a fair share of, myself) or find the nearest drinking party. The latter was completely not me. I didn’t drink, and certainly didn’t believe in underage drinking. Besides, I had little in common with those holding such parties.

Some of the more fortunate individuals could possibly go to the Arnot Mall just across the state line. There, options including just hanging out at the mall, shopping, or catching a movie. Unfortunately, I didn’t have transportation, nor knew anyone who did. As a result, I had a substantially quiet life at home, spending most of my time in solitude.

In college, I was a bit more socially active. I had the friends from Acts 29 and InterVarsity. But even then, we tended to hang out in someone’s room. Occasionally, we might catch a movie as a group or run to one of the restaurants. Or we might even occasionally catch a play produced by the school’s drama department. But we didn’t spend a lot of time going out into the world.

After college, it was back to rural Pennsylvania. This time I had a car, and could go to the more populated areas about half an hour away. But at this point, I had no real close friends, and the idea of going to most events alone frightened me. And I certainly wasn’t aware of most events in the area.

So I find myself having to learn little things here in Rochester, like how to find out about local happenings. I know that there are shows and concerts of all kinds throughout the area, but I’m not entirely sure how to best “plug in” to hear about them in time. (This is probably one of the reasons I jumped on the Vickie Shaw thing so quickly.)

And then there’s the issue that I still don’t want to go to most things alone. Now, the good news there is that I have a handful of friends here. Providing they’re available, I can probably convince one of them to go to just about anything I’d be interested in checking out. But it’s a new mode of thinking that I’m going to have to get used to. And as I said in the beginning, I can’t help but feel like this is something most people learn to do at a younger age and find it much more natural than I do now. That’s a bit frustrating right now.

Going Out, Introspection, Personal Development

Taking a chance on having fun

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This afternoon, I received an email from the COAP mailing list. Apparently, the folks who run the ImageOut Film Festival have arranged for comedian Vickie Shaw to perform here in Rochester on April 20th. I’ve never heard of her before, but figured that I like to laugh, and a night out is always a good idea. So I ordered a couple of tickets.

You heard that right, I ordered two tickets. I decided that since I’m doing something as radical as actually developing a social life for myself, I might as well go all the way and even plan to invite someone to go with me. With any luck, one of my friends will be equally interested in an opportunity to get out and do something entertaining for an evening.

I have to admit, this is somewhat ambitious for me, and it has me feeling a bit weird. Normally, I’d wait until the last minute, hope I could still get a ticket, only get one, and go alone. But I realize that there’s an inherent problem with that modus operandi. The whole point of going to something like this is to have a good time. The way I do these things, I go with the anticipation that I won’t have a good time. What should be fun becomes a matter of obligation, and I end up only going through the motions. So I’m hoping that by getting the tickets somewhat in advance and anticipating finding someone to go with, I can set new expectations for myself. And hopefully, these new expectations will create a better quality of experience. Here’s to hoping.

Going Out, The Arts

IMS Festival 2007

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Tonight, I attended the ImageMovementSound Festival 2007 presentation on the campus of RIT. Unfortunately, I missed the first twenty minutes of this hour and a half long show because I’d never been on the campus before. I got lost, and quickly burned the fifteen extra minutes I had allowed myself to find Ingle Auditorium. But I eventually made it to the right place and was able to view all but three or four of the pieces presented.

I’m not going to attempt an in-depth critique of the fesival or any of the pieces presented. People who know me are well aware that my grasp of such things is tenuous at best. As I told my friend when he asked me how I liked the festival afterwards, I’m sure that I failed to comprehend or appreciate more than half of what the contributors were trying to convey. As such, I will simply leave my analysis as a simple statement that I enjoyed it. After all, the experience was incredible.

I would say that based solely on my subjective emotional reactions, my favorite piece would have to be “E=Motion.” What I particularly liked about it was the two live dancers who performed on the stage as part of it. Their motions were fluid, and watching how they intereacted with one another, tumbling over an rolling across one another with each, was amazing. I can only imagine the amount of practice that both of them put in to perform such a routine.

For those who are in the area and did not get a chance to see IMS, I would like to point out that the festival will be putting in a stop at the Visual Studies Workshop auditorium on Sunday, April 15 at 8:00pm. So if you get the opportunity, reward yourself for getting your taxes filed by checking out the festival that night.

Friends, Going Out

Another Great Game Night

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Tonight, I went to the COAP game night again. I had a great time, once again. Tonight was not only game night, but it was their weekly planning meeting. That’s when they start coming up with events for the next month or so and adding them to the calendar. I don’t think they ever got around to doing that tonight, because Woody was running late. So we got right into the game playing. First, we played Pit, which is basically a sort of trading game. it was insane, but fun. After we played several hands, we switched over to Guillotine. I’m not sure what it is about this group and morbid games, but it was fun.

Tonight, we had eight people show up. Woody, Paul, and Jeff all returned from last week. In addition, I got to meet John, Todd, and Jenny. Tonight, Alana came for the very first time, taking my place as the newbie. (Technically, I think we’re going to share that role for the time being, though.)

After the gaming ended and people started leaving, a small group of us stuck around for a while to just chat. It was nice, because we all got to know each other a bit more. For example, I found out that Woody is also a computer programmer. And Alana told us about her experiences moving o the area and looking for a job. It was great to be able to learn a bit about the people I’ve bee gaming with.

What truly amazed me, however, was that I was able to spend two and a half hours with that many people and not feel any ill effects as a result. Apparently, I’ve learned to shield extremely well. It’s nice to be able to keep everyone else’s emotions at bay.

Daily Life, Friends, Going Out, Health, Personal Development, Writing

Fantastic Day

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Today was a great day. I managed to get out of the house around quarter of noon and headed up to the POC to hang out with Belinda during the healing clinic. Nobody showed up today, so we just ended up sitting around and talking. I took my laptop so that Belinda could read the local copy of Journey. She absolutely loved it, though she was frustrated that I hadn’t written more. She got to the last page in the series and just sat there going, “That’s it?” She also found a couple of typos I made, which I fixed and just uploaded.

When we finally decided to leave the POC, we decided to go to a late lunch at Red Lobster. She had the Shrimp Linguini Alfredo. Not being a seafood fan (but I love the garlic biscuits they serve at Red Lobster), I decided to go with the Cajun Chicken Linguini Alfredo. We both loved our meals, and there were a lot of cute waiters to check out. (We each commented on which ones we liked.)

After lunch, I brought my leftovers back to the house, then decided to go someplace for a walk. I was only a little after five and the day was absolutely beautiful. I decided to drive over to Shoen Place and park so that I could walk the trail along the canal. It was the first time I’ve walked the trail, and it was absolutely gorgeous. It’s surprising how peaceful the area can be. You don’t realize it driving along Route 96 in the same area.

After my walk, I ran to Target. I decided that with the weather warming up, I needed some more polo shirts. I only have three, and I can’t wear tee shirts on the customer site like I do at my own office. While I was there, I also picked up a new belt. I’ve either lost weight or it’s shifted, because my old belt wasn’t doing a good job at holding up my pants anymore.

I also decided to get another package of underwear, as I’m running out of those, too. I had trouble picking out a package. I usually prefer to get a package that just has black and grey underwear in it, but all the packages today had other colors. I finally decided on the package that also had a blue pair and a red pair. I have to admit that I picked that package because something about the idea of wearing red undies amused me.

Overall, it was a pleasant and beautiful day. I’m thinking about topping it off with a movie this evening.

Going Out, Randomness, Work

Just a ramble about the day

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I had a rather long day at work. I ended up working a ten hour shift, which is an hour longer than the shift I worked on Tuesday. But I needed to work that many hours to get my time in on a particular project. I believe I mentioned earlier that I was working on-site for Customer A and at my own company’s office for Customer B. Well, in theory, I’m now assigned to Customer A full time.

However, Customer B still needs some of my time. That project took longer than expected, and we’re still doing testing. As the only software engineer on the project, they need my support. So in addition to working a full week at Customer A’s site, I’m trying to come in to our office for a few hours a week to support the work on Customer B’s stuff. I put in two and a half hours total over Tuesday and Wednesday morning. As I had things to do that evening, I didn’t put in a full eight hours at Customer A’s site those days. So today was the day to make up the difference.

As a reward to myself for working so hard this week, I decided to come directly over here to Equal Grounds again after work. I decided to give their black bean wrap a try for dinner. It’s actually pretty good. So here I sit, munching on a wrap and nachos and washing it all down with an iced tea. It’s practically a perfect evening, especially when you consider that an episode of Law & Order is on the television, which is about fifteen feet or so directly ahead of me. So while I’m doing my writing, I also get treated to a great show. Of course, I’ve already seen this episode, but there aren’t many I haven’t seen already. I used to be a Law & Order fanatic.

Oh, back on the work topic (sort of), let me just say that I’m amazed by the incredible number of good looking guys that work for Customer A. Of course, most of them also seem to be incredibly young. I’m beginning to wonder if they hire 85% or better of their employees directly out of RIT. And actually, I know that at least two of the guys working on my team are co-ops from there. It’s just crazy.

Not that I’d chase any of them. That would be a nightmare waiting to happen. Besides, I’ve decided I’d rather be the one being chased. 😉

Friends, Going Out

Great game night

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After a bit of deliberation and carrying on about how shy and nervous I usually am, I eventually convinced myself to go to COAP’s game night tonight. In retrospect, I’m glad I did. To be honest, I’m not sure when I’ve had that kind of fun.

I arrived at the coffee house a little before 6:30pm. As I was early, I decided to take the time to pull out the laptop an work on my writing. As I was finishing up the next chapter in A Journey to Queerdom, people started showing up. So I finished editing the pages locally, then turned off the computer, ordered another iced tea and went over to introduce myself.

By the end of the night, there were a total of six of us. Originally, four of us played Gloom, which is probably one of the most morbid games I’ve ever played. (Is it bad that I enjoyed it?) I almost won, but Woody cleared all the modifiers off one of my family members just before Paul killed off his last family member. As a result, Paul won the game.

The next game we played — involving all six of us this time — was Phase 10. Now I think I vaguely recall playing this game once before, but it was a few years ago. Fortunately, it was similar enough to other games that I caught on rather quickly. In fact, for the first few hands, I managed to take the lead. Eventually, that changed and I was probably close to being low man on the totem pole (kinky!) by the time I had to leave. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to stick around and finish the game, as I have to go to work early tomorrow and I’m working a ten hour or better shift. In fact, I shouldn’t be taking the time to write this, but I figure I need the chance to wind down, anyway.

Overall, game night was a great experience. It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down with a group of guys (and the first time when I wasn’t the only gay guy in the bunch) and just hung out. It was nice to chat, joke around with one another, and just have a leisurely visit. In a lot of ways, it reminded me a lot of the nights my family will get together to play cards. I’m alread looking forward to the next game night at the end of this month.

Going Out

Making the Maiden Voyage

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As I type this up, I’m sitting at a small table in Equal Grounds. My chai smoothie is almost gone. I’ve completed installing the software I want for writing and web development, and I’m just enjoying the atmosphere.

I’m also looking at the battery life meter. Man it’s going down fast. I’ve only been here forty five minutes and I’m already down to 75% power. I may have to look for a table near an electrical outlet in the future.

Already, I’m finding the change of pace, being online and doing my stuff in public, a pleasant one. In many ways, it reminds me of the comfort I found when I first starting writing at a table in Friendly’s. Now if I can just make the kind of friendships I eventually formed with the waitresses at that restaurant.

Equal Grounds has a large LCD screen at the one end of this back room. Currently, it has the image of a fire (like in a fireplace) palying across it. It gives the place a very cozy feeling. I’m facing in that direction, so as I’m typing, I can look up for a moment or two and get lost in the dance of the flames on the screen. It’s rather mesmerizing.

I don’t think I’ll get any real writing done here tonight. My mind just isn’t right to do it. And besides, I have to go to work early tomorrow. So in another twenty minutes or so, I will likely need to call it a night. But at least I can now do this, and I’m looking forward to repeating the experience.

Of course, I think I’d also like to do it during the day when there’s slightly more light.

Going Out, Online Life, Personal Development, Writing

I’m getting a laptop

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I’ve decided that I’m going to run to Best Buy after work tomorrow. The plan? To spend part of my tax refund and buy a laptop computer. It’s occurred to me that I’d really like to have one. I often like to go to places like Equal Grounds and Spot Coffee to hang out and relax. And it seems to me that it would be nice to be able to work on my writing projects, including my online projects, while relaxing at places like them.

Granted, I already often take my journals there and write by hand. But having a laptop would allow me to type things up directly. And in cases where I’m at someplace that offers a wireless Internet connection, I can even directly upload my content while I’m there.

This is a great solution to one of the problems I’m currently facing. I want to get out more often, an create opportunities for socializing. And yet, I have a number of writing projects I want to keep up with. Getting a laptop will hopefully enable me to combine the two in a creative way. And perhaps my writing in public will occasionally help generate conversation.