Tag Archives: mental health

Meta-Blogging, Personal News, Politics

Reeling and trying to recover from a Trump win

Leave a comment

Hello dear readers! Last week felt like a massive trainwreck to me. And it started out so well. I was excited to get out another polytheology post on Monday and was hoping to get back into blogging after only putting out four posts in October. Then things changed on Tuesday.

I will note that Tuesday already started out rough for me before the U.S. election results started rolling in. I was dealing with some aches and pains1 Monday night, which meant I got very little sleep. What sleep I got wasn’t all that restful either. So when I got up Tuesday morning, I decided to take an unplanned day off from work. I spent the day with my husband watching television and YouTube videos, playing computer games, and just enjoying each other’s company.

That evening, I made the mistake of looking at the election results so far. Things did not look promising. At the time, only 217 electoral votes had been called for Trump. Harris had secured 174. And while there were plenty of states that hadn’t been called yet, the map I was looking at showed that the vast majority of the outstanding states were clearly leaning toward Trump. But as someone who tries to remain hopeful, I told myself anything could still happen. Still, my husband and I took a few minutes to discuss our fears and what we might want to do if the worst happens.

Tuesday morning, my hopes were dashed and I was devastated and angry. In fact, I was angry enough that I was willing to say the following on social media:

I’m not going to lie. Those were not entirely idle words. I put some power behind them.2 I am that angry about the fact that so many of my fellow Americans are willing to vote for a man and a party3 that holds that much contempt towards so many of us. They wouldn’t mind seeing many of us getting harmed as long as they think it’ll get them what they want.

After that, I went silent on social media for a few days. I decided I just needed a break from the political hellscape. I needed time to keep myself from spiraling into total despair and fear. After all, there’s a part of me that fears just how bad things could get over the next few years. I really do believe that if we don’t find effective and meaningful ways to resist, our democracy could warp into something sinister and even fascist.4 While those fears are legitimate, I needed time to get some distance from them lest they rob me of my ability to resist. If that were to happen, I’d be of no help in reshaping wyrd and setting our society and country back on a better path.

So right now, I’m trying to figure out what my part in resisting the nightmare policies Trump and his supporters have planned will look like. I’m not sure what efforts I want to financially support and how much I can budget for that efforts.

The one thing I do know is that for me, resistance will start with continuing to be myself. I will continue to maintain this blog and my presence on social media sites. I will continue to post about the things that matter to me and present my authentic self and my perspective on the world. After all, I’m among the people that Trump and his base like to dehumanize and deny rights to, so it’s important to make myself seen and my humanity evident in order to push back against those attempts.

I’ve also been thinking about community a lot. I think that in this time, community and mutual support will be even more important. And I think that working communally will be vital.5 I’m not sure what that will look like for me, but it’s something I’m thinking about.

I’m still reeling. I’m still trying to recover. But I’m here and I will not allow my fear and despair to drag me away from my ability to help make this world a better place. I’m just taking some time to develop a vision and a plan.

Post History: The first draft of this post was written on November 9, 2024. I proofread, revised, and finalized it on November 20, 2024.

Footnotes

  1. It’s somewhat distressing how frequently I have aches and pains these days. After all, I’m still only fifty and hope to live another forty years or more. What are things going to be like when I’m ninety? ↩︎
  2. Before any naive readers start shouting “harm none” at me, you might want to be aware that (1) I do not consider the Wiccan rede binding and (2) I don’t interpret it as prohibiting all harmful acts anyway. ↩︎
  3. I mention this because our problem is not Trump. Trump is just the symptom of the greater problems that are deeply rooted in our society and system. Problems like misogyny, white supremacy, Christian supremacy, and queerphobia. Trump’s just what you get when we as a society let these problems run rampant. ↩︎
  4. The reality is that our democracy is already broken and that was true even before Tuesday. Now we have to find a way to keep it from getting worse and hopefully reverse the damage already done. ↩︎
  5. I find it interesting and appropriate that my recent posts in my polytheology series have spoken heavily at the concept of community and group work toward a better world. It’s a reminder I think I and many others need right now. ↩︎
Gender and Sexuality

Risky Behavior the Anti-Gay Crowd Loves

Leave a comment
The Bisexual flag and Gay flag put together (A...

Image via Wikipedia

I ran across an AP article this morning that says that some research suggests that LGB teens* are more likely to engage in risky behavior than their heterosexual counterparts.  According to the article:

Investigators asked about dozens of risky behaviors, ranging from not
wearing a bicycle helmet, to drug use, to attempting suicide. Gay,
lesbian and bisexual students reported worse behavior in half to 90
percent of the risk categories, depending on the survey site.

The article goes on to give statistics on cigarette usage, suicide attempts, and purging:

  • About 8 percent to 19 percent of heterosexual students said they
    currently smoke cigarettes; 20 percent to 48 percent of gay and lesbian
    students smoked.
  • About 4 to 10 percent of heterosexual
    students said they attempted suicide in the previous year. For gay and
    lesbian students: 15 percent to 34 percent. For bisexual students: 21
    percent to 32 percent.
  • About 3 percent to 6 percent of
    heterosexual students said they threw up or used laxatives to lose
    weight or stay thin. For gay and lesbian students: 13 percent to 20
    percent. For bisexual students: 12 percent to 17.5 percent.

At first glance, it might seem strange to talk about not wearing a bike helmet and suicide attempts in the same article.  However, when you consider that both behaviors are inherently self-destructive and an indicator of self-image and self-worth issues, it makes perfect sense.  When people don’t value themselves as much as they should, they tend not to care as much what happens to themselves or take proper care of themselves.

Unfortunately, the anti-gay crowd does not help this, when it comes to LGB youth*.  The anti-gay crowd is invested in stigmatizing them, encouraging them to feel bad about themselves and lower their sense of self-worth.**  They tell these youth how horrible it is to be gay, and all the horrible things that means about them.  They tell these youth how bad their life is going to be, painting a “gay lifestyle” that must be by its very nature filled with self-destructive behaviors.

One thing anyone who has worked with children and teens will tell you is that if you tell a child or teen long enough that they’re bad and they do bad things, a teen is going to decide to do those things.  So in effect the anti-gay crowd is engaging — and I have to assume at this point that it’s done knowingly — in pushing a self-fulfilling prophecy.

And of course, once the fruits of their smear campaign starts showing, they self-righteously point to the self-destructive behavior and insist it’s because “gay people know that what they’re doing is wrong.”  Note how it turns into a vicious cycle.  One that we QUILTBAG adults and our allies need to break.

It’s important that we remind the QUILTBAG youth in our communities that the anti-gay crowd is lying to them.  We need to remind them that they are worth far more than the anti-gay crowd want them to know.  We need to remind them that they deserve to treat themselves with care and respect rather than engaging in risky, self-destructive behavior.  Because QUILTBAG youth are being inundated with some awful messages, and they are listening.  We need to make sure they hear and listen to our message too.

Our message to QUILTBAG youth is that they are better than that.

—

* I suspect the same can be said about all QUILTBAG teens, but that would be pure extrapolation on my part, not something supported by the studies mentioned.

** Oh, the anti-gay crowd will tell you that it’s untrue and that they only want such youths to “find freedom from homosexuality.”  But first, they have to convince those same youths that they’re sexual orientation is the same as “bondage.”