Category Archives: Personal News

Meta-Blogging, Personal News, Politics

Reeling and trying to recover from a Trump win

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Hello dear readers! Last week felt like a massive trainwreck to me. And it started out so well. I was excited to get out another polytheology post on Monday and was hoping to get back into blogging after only putting out four posts in October. Then things changed on Tuesday.

I will note that Tuesday already started out rough for me before the U.S. election results started rolling in. I was dealing with some aches and pains1 Monday night, which meant I got very little sleep. What sleep I got wasn’t all that restful either. So when I got up Tuesday morning, I decided to take an unplanned day off from work. I spent the day with my husband watching television and YouTube videos, playing computer games, and just enjoying each other’s company.

That evening, I made the mistake of looking at the election results so far. Things did not look promising. At the time, only 217 electoral votes had been called for Trump. Harris had secured 174. And while there were plenty of states that hadn’t been called yet, the map I was looking at showed that the vast majority of the outstanding states were clearly leaning toward Trump. But as someone who tries to remain hopeful, I told myself anything could still happen. Still, my husband and I took a few minutes to discuss our fears and what we might want to do if the worst happens.

Tuesday morning, my hopes were dashed and I was devastated and angry. In fact, I was angry enough that I was willing to say the following on social media:

I’m not going to lie. Those were not entirely idle words. I put some power behind them.2 I am that angry about the fact that so many of my fellow Americans are willing to vote for a man and a party3 that holds that much contempt towards so many of us. They wouldn’t mind seeing many of us getting harmed as long as they think it’ll get them what they want.

After that, I went silent on social media for a few days. I decided I just needed a break from the political hellscape. I needed time to keep myself from spiraling into total despair and fear. After all, there’s a part of me that fears just how bad things could get over the next few years. I really do believe that if we don’t find effective and meaningful ways to resist, our democracy could warp into something sinister and even fascist.4 While those fears are legitimate, I needed time to get some distance from them lest they rob me of my ability to resist. If that were to happen, I’d be of no help in reshaping wyrd and setting our society and country back on a better path.

So right now, I’m trying to figure out what my part in resisting the nightmare policies Trump and his supporters have planned will look like. I’m not sure what efforts I want to financially support and how much I can budget for that efforts.

The one thing I do know is that for me, resistance will start with continuing to be myself. I will continue to maintain this blog and my presence on social media sites. I will continue to post about the things that matter to me and present my authentic self and my perspective on the world. After all, I’m among the people that Trump and his base like to dehumanize and deny rights to, so it’s important to make myself seen and my humanity evident in order to push back against those attempts.

I’ve also been thinking about community a lot. I think that in this time, community and mutual support will be even more important. And I think that working communally will be vital.5 I’m not sure what that will look like for me, but it’s something I’m thinking about.

I’m still reeling. I’m still trying to recover. But I’m here and I will not allow my fear and despair to drag me away from my ability to help make this world a better place. I’m just taking some time to develop a vision and a plan.

Post History: The first draft of this post was written on November 9, 2024. I proofread, revised, and finalized it on November 20, 2024.

Footnotes

  1. It’s somewhat distressing how frequently I have aches and pains these days. After all, I’m still only fifty and hope to live another forty years or more. What are things going to be like when I’m ninety? ↩︎
  2. Before any naive readers start shouting “harm none” at me, you might want to be aware that (1) I do not consider the Wiccan rede binding and (2) I don’t interpret it as prohibiting all harmful acts anyway. ↩︎
  3. I mention this because our problem is not Trump. Trump is just the symptom of the greater problems that are deeply rooted in our society and system. Problems like misogyny, white supremacy, Christian supremacy, and queerphobia. Trump’s just what you get when we as a society let these problems run rampant. ↩︎
  4. The reality is that our democracy is already broken and that was true even before Tuesday. Now we have to find a way to keep it from getting worse and hopefully reverse the damage already done. ↩︎
  5. I find it interesting and appropriate that my recent posts in my polytheology series have spoken heavily at the concept of community and group work toward a better world. It’s a reminder I think I and many others need right now. ↩︎
Geeky, Meta-Blogging, Personal News

Work Drained Me

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Happy Saturday, dear readers! It seems I missed Friday’s post. Please blame my work on this. I’ve been mentally exhausted most of the week as my tasks have changed on a near-daily basis. On the days that the tasks haven’t changed, I spent most of my time realizing that what I thought would be a relatively easy task is far more complicated than I first thought. And then I’d realize it’s even more complicated than that the next day. So by the time it came time to work on my next post about Spinning Wyrd by Ryan Smith, I had nothing left in the intellectual gas tank. So today, you get some vague ramblings of a software developer.

The big issue I ran into today was discovering that a preexisting piece of software was an architected in a way that made the feature I was supposed to add to it nearly impossible1 to implement without a massive rewrite of the existing code. Since we don’t have the time or budget to rewrite the existing code, that new feature was finally shelved after I spent two days playing “why won’t this stupid thing work the way I think it should?”2

This whole experience is a reminder that project managers and project architects really need to spend more time thinking about a product roadmap for software. They need to try to anticipate what future features might be added so that when they make these architectural and design decisions, they don’t implement something that makes those features nearly impossible — or even just difficult — to implement. No one can possibly envision every feature that might get added to a piece of software in the future, but I’ve encountered more than one scenario like my current one and thought “someone probably should’ve sen this coming.”3

At any rate, my apologies to my readers who were looking forward to more book discussion/Heathen talk. I promise to get back on schedule next week. For anyone who observes it, happy start of Winter Nights on Thursday!

Post History: This post was written on October 12, 2024. There was no proofreading or revision process.

Footnotes

  1. Not completely impossible, mind you. As I’ve thought about it, I think I’ve come up with a workable solution, but it’s ugly. We’ll see when management decides they want to spend the time and money to revisit the feature. ↩︎
  2. Part of what took me so long to figure out why things weren’t working they way I thought they were is because I’m the fourth person to work on this piece of software and the original author who laid out the architecture left the company a couple years ago. So I’ve had to delve into the details of how the software works to a degree I haven’t had to before. Oh, and it’s written in a programming lanuage I’m not terribly familiar with. Fun! ↩︎
  3. For full disclosure that “someone” has been me at times. I’ve made design decisions in the past that I later realized were a mistake I should have anticipated. There’s a whole other discussion to be had about why this sort of lack if foresight is so common. ↩︎
Personal News

Taking Another Day/Discussion Question/Open Thread

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Happy Monday, readers. I did not find or make time this weekend to get a post written for Monday, so i guess I’m taking another “lazy day.” So for today, I’ll pose a question for y’all to answer in the comments:

What’s your least favorite part of starting a new job?

I officially start working for my new employer (same job, same building, different name over the entrance) tomorrow. For me, my least favorite part of the job right now is all the freaking new hire paperwork. Especially Form I-9. For those who are not familiar with it, Form I-9 is a form you and your employer have to fill out here in the United States to demonstrate that you are legally entitled to work in the country.

The form itself is not bad. The hard part — and even that is not that hard either — is providing a document or some combination of documents that establish (1) your identity and (2) that you are allowed to work in the United States. The easiest document for a citizen to use is a U.S. Passport, which establishes both things immediately. Unfortunately, the laws have apparently changed now your passport has to be unexpired. Sadly, I’m pretty sure my passport is expired. I’m not sure though, since I can’t seem to find my passport (or the box containing it and the other rather important documents.) So the next option is to use two separate documents, one to establish each of the criteria. Establishing identity is pretty easy, as you just need a valid driver’s license or some other government-issued picture ID. I got that.

So that leaves establishing my citizenship/eligibility for employment. Usually, a natural-born citizen establishes that by providing a state-issued birth certificate or a Social Security card. I have (or at least had) both of those…somewhere. I can’t find them either. So I’m pretty much up a creek.

I did go online and order a new birth certificate from Pennsylvania. I will get that…in about three weeks. I’m hoping the printed receipt will be enough to serve as a temporary placeholder to let me work until I can present my birth certificate at the end of the month. Some people have mentioned they think the “Enhanced Driver’s License” many of us got in order to cross into Canada by car without a passport may also work, so I’m hoping that will work if my receipt doesn’t.

Personally, I don’t understand why they need any of this. Like I said, it’s not like this is a brand new job. Is there any reason they can’t just use the form/documentation I filled out when is started under the old employer? I mean surely they have access to that from the HR department hat has now split between the two companies.

Anyway dear readers, how about you? Do you have any horror stories from starting a new job? Just something you found frustrating in the process? Share them in the comments. Or talk about whatever is on your mind.

Post History: I wrote this post on September 2, 2024.

Personal News

A few words in the midst of grief

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Happy Friday, dear readers. I’m afraid this post is going to be brief today. As those who follow me on social media might have heard, I’m currently going through the process of grieving. Some things have change in my life and it’s made for an emotional and difficult week.

The week hasn’t been all bad. There’s been a lot of laughter and joyful moments mixed in with the tears. But to be honest, I’m too exhausted to write a proper post for today. Instead, I’ll probably spend the time I’m not working snuggling with my husband and watching yet another stoner movie. (So far, we’ve watched Your Highness, Super Troopers, and Dude, Where’s My Car?)

Beyond that, I’m just sitting with my feelings and being gentle with myself. I’ve also been reading Mandy Capehart’s book, Restorative Grief. I had started it sometime last month and it’s kind of a weird coincidence that I happened to need its comfort an helpful advice while I was still reading it. Sometimes, I guess the universe seems to recognize your needs and provides for them before they even arise.

I hope to return to my regular blogging schedule on Monday. In the meantime, feel free to use the comments section to check in and offer how you’re doing as well. I’d love to hear from y’all.

Post HIstory: I wrote this post on August 29, 2024.

Meta-Blogging, Personal News

Checking in: We need more steam, Captain!

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Happy Monday, readers. I’m doing a bit of a check-in for today’s blog post because I must admit — somewhat red-faced — that I don’t have anything prepared. While I had a great time participating in #ChangingPathsChallenge2024 all last month and going through some of the journal prompts in Yvonne Aburrow’s book on Fridays, I didn’t do a very good job of planning for what comes next. I made it through last Monday by coming across something on Threads I wanted to talk about, but no such luck this week. Oh, there are a couple things I could have talked about, but my weekend also didn’t really lend itself to working any of those ideas into a blog post.

I’m not giving up like I’ve often done in the past, though. I just need to regroup and make a plan and put in a bit of prep time. Hopefully, things will be motoring right along starting next week. As for this Friday, I’ve gathered a list of bookmarks to lists of journal prompts relating to witchcraft, Paganism, and spirituality in general. I will probably use those lists for blogging prompts on Fridays until I can find another book I want to blog my way through.

I’m currently reading Cultish by Amanda Montell right now. It’s a fascinating book and I’m enjoying her exploration of how cults use language to draw in and control their followers. I also find it interesting and compelling how she points out how cultish language is everywhere, and not just in cults themselves. I’m considering doing a blog post about that as well as on discussing the authoritarianism in cults and how religions can and should strive to be explicitly anti-authoritarian. But I don’t see myself doing a whole blog series about the book. I’d love to find another book I could do that with.

I’ll also note that I was probably more than a little exhausted by the end of June from doing the blog challenge. As much as I loved participating (and plan to do it again), it definitely confirmed that I am not someone who can blog daily. And I think that blogging fatigue contributed to my failure to prepare for what comes next. Well, that and the fact that I’m a notorious procrastinator.

But rather than engage in useless and even counterproductive self-recrimination, I’m just going to pick up and get going again.

Thanks for listening. Drop a comment below and let me know how all of you are doing. And as always, requests for blog posts covering specific topics are always welcome.

Personal News

Burned Out

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You may have noticed a lack of posts the last few days. This is because I’m a bit burned out. Doing the things that need to be done for buying the house got a bit stressful at the end of last week. Getting people to understand what I needed (which meant first understanding what I was being told I needed), dealing with technical issues, and one hiccup with the deal itself just all coalesced into a major stress cookie (my least favorite kind of cookie, maybe second only to oatmeal raisin) for me.

And then on top of that, we had the fun of trying to get a week or two worth of groceries in a store with many bare shelves and quantity limits on just about everything. I hope stores are able to get restocked soon, because right now, trying to get enough food for any serious length of time (that is, more than a day or two) in order to practice social distancing and/or sheltering in place is a real challenge.

So it may be a few more days before I get back on schedule. Please bear with me.

Personal News

Working from home while working to obtain the new home

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Monday morning, members of the leadership team at work walked around the building and told everyone that they should go home immediately if they did not have to work in the lab. Apparently, they decided that the coronavirus situation here in Rochester merited that kind of action. For at least the next two weeks, we are supposed to work from home as much as our duties allow us. We should only go in to work — and we should get approval from the director “on duty” that day — is when we need to do something in the lab or generally access equipment beyond our work laptops.

Heck, my boss even sent out an email telling us that we should feel free to grab our monitors and bring them home if we feel it will help. I’d do that, but I don’t really have any place to set up another monitor here at the house. Now, if we were int he new house, i’d have some options.

That brings me to the home-buying update. The owner of the house I mentioned in my previous post on the topic accepted our offer. Well, our adjusted offer. We had to go up little bit to edge out the other offer(s). This past Monday, we also did the home inspection. It was an interesting experience. The inspector took us through the whole house and around the grounds. In addition to pointing out things we might want to ask the owner to either fix or give us a credit on — we decided only two rose to that level — he pointed out other, more minor things we might want to take care of ourselves as time and money permits. Lots of preventive maintenance/improvement things. Today, we sent the owner our requests of what we’d like fixed or credit to cover our costs of fixing ourselves. We now have to wait for her agreement or counter-proposal, which would mean further negotiations. But overall things look good and we feel like we’re one more step closer to having our very own place.

Of course, next comes the fun part: Pulling the trigger on the actual mortgage application and going from being pre-approved to being fully approved. After that, it should just be signing a butt-load of checks.

Daily Life, Personal News

House-hunting brain is a thing, right?

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You may have noticed that posts have been a bit spotty and occasionally light. This is because Joe and I are in the process of finding and buying our new home. We just got pre-approved on our mortgage last week and started touring homes with our real estate agent this past Sunday.

It’s been an interesting experience, sorting through the listings to find the ones that we actually even want to look at, then find out which ones already flew off the market while we were making that decision or turned out to be no good upon looking at the details. (I’ve quickly learned that “rehab loan” is code for “run away as fast as you can,” at least if you’re a first time buyer looking for something you can actually move into.) We ended up giving our agent a list of five properties we were interested in checking out. In the end, we ended up seeing three of them, plus a fourth one that just came on the market Saturday evening. By some miracle, she was able to get us in to see that one Sunday as well.

That’s the one we made an offer for. Just twenty four hours after it was even put on the market. Ours isn’t the only offer, either. In fact, the listing agent will present our offer and the other offer(s) (we know there’s at least one) to the seller this evening, who will then give us a final decision. After that, we either learn how to walk through the process that gets us into the home or we start the search again.

The process hasn’t been too terrible, especially now that we have an agent helping us. It’s mostly just a matter of keeping things moving. Responding to emails, texts and calls. Looking at new listings as soon as they are sent to us. Reviewing and digitally signing the offer. And then waiting. The waiting is probably the worst part.

The net result is I’m often mentally exhausted. So posts my be a bit sporadic here, though I do want to keep the momentum going as much as possible.

Gender and Sexuality, Personal News, Politics

personal update 2019/04/13

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[Content Note: Harassment, misogyny, war on agency]

Since I dropped a post on here about a week ago and have been getting a small but steady trickle of traffic, I decided to do a “personal update” post. Especially in case any of my long-time readers (all five of you) are still around.

I’ve actually been wanting to blog more but have been struggling. There are a number of reasons for that. (Have I mentioned that I have a growing and possibly obsessive love of lists lately?)

  1. I’m trying to figure out what my “voice” should be. That is what I want to communicate and share with people.
  2. I’ve struggled with that process because it’s leading me to wonder what I’m really qualified to talk about.
  3. I’ve also struggled with it because it’s leading me to question what i can say that hasn’t already been said better by others.
  4. I’m married now and I need to balance my blogging time with spending time with my Hubby.
  5. Most of what I feel I want to and am qualified to say fits in a tweet or a string of tweets, but would not really make a good blog post (in my opinion at least).

That last point is why I’ve been spending a lot of my time on Twitter and Ive been pretty active over there. In fact, here’s another list (told you I was obsessed with the silly things) I’ve been up to on Twitter.

  1. As I mentioned in my previous post, I made an effort to get Pete Buttigieg, who is running for the Democratic nomination for president in 2020, to acknowledge how some of his “defenders” are harassing and attempting to silence his critics, particularly those who face oppression in ways Buttigieg does not (nor do I) and speak out against such harassment. At this point, I am declaring my attempt ineffective (other than hopefully making some of those who have been harassed feel seen). I’ve tweeted at him. I’ve emailed the only account I could find associated with his campaign. I just don’t see what more I can do.
  2. After watching people promote the anti-choice propaganda film, “Unplanned,” I started promoting counter-proposal and alternative to seeing the movie. [tweet 1115216412488892416 ]
  3. I’ve been getting much more involved with the exvangelical community and have enjoyed both hearing about other people’s experiences with evangelicalism and sharing in bringing people’s attention to the toxicity of evangelical culture.

On a more personal note — and because I realized I never actually blogged about it — I’ve been a happily married man since August 2016. Hubby (I have not asked his permission to use his name on this blog. He’s a fellow geek, a gamer, and a fellow witch. That last one is absolutely amazing to me, because he was only the second guy I’ve ever dated that was a Pagan (and the other relationship I had with a fellow witch lasted like a week). He’s also given me my first chance to actually play Dungeons and Dragons, and I love it.

So, that’s my life in a nutshell right now. What’s going on with all of you, dear readers?