Category Archives: Friends

The magic of drive-in theaters

Saturday night, a group of friends went to the Silver Lake Drive-In. We ended up watching Spiderman 3 and Ghost Rider, both of which were excellent movies. I ended up sitting in Belinda’s car watching the shows with her. The experience that night brought back a few memories.

Of course, any trip to a drive-in theater always brings back childhood memories. My parents, being frugal people, never took my sister or I to the movie theater. However, they were perfectly happy to take my sister and I to the drive-in theater a couple times each summer. Each time we’d go, they’d bundle the two of us into our pajamas before taking us out to the small drive-in (I was amazed when I learned that some places had more than one screen and offered a selection of movies to watch). I don’t remember many of the movies we saw, the only two that stick out vividly are The Fox and the Hound (which I cried at because of the ending) and Herbie Goes Bananas. I also remember that the one time we went, the second movie they showed was Canonball Run. I particularly my mother mentioning the next day that she was glad that my sister fell asleep during that movie. (We often fell asleep during the second movie, which is why we were always bundled in our pajamas.)

Back then, going to the Drive-In was a special treat. We didn’t go often, but Mom and Dad always made sure we saw at least one movie each summer. They would usually tell my sister and me a couple days in advance, and we’d look forward to the “big night” from that moment on. I suppose that’s why going to a drive-in is still a magical event to me over two decades later. There’s a certain sense to the experience that I doubt even seeing a movie at an I-Max theater could compare to in my mind.

The other memory that Saturday night brought back to me was the last time I went to a drive-in. That was during college. A group of us went to see Pocahontas with our friends Dennis and Mary and their three small children. There was a second movie we saw that night, but I forget what it was. I do remember that neither James nor I were impressed with it and spent most of the movie whispering snide comments about it between ourselves.

That was the night that I learned that some of the larger drive-in theaters have more than one screen, a fact that totally surprised me. I also remember my surprise at discovering that some drive-in theaters also broadcast the sound for their movies using a very small range FM radio transmitter. During my childhood, the theater we went to only had the small speakers that you hung on the edge of your car window.

That was also the first time that I didn’t stay in the car. Dennis backed his mini van up into the spot so that the rear of the van was facing the screen. We then all climbed out and opened the back doors on the van. Some sat in the back of the van while the rest of us lined up in front in our lawn chairs. It was a different experience for me, and quite a pleasant one.

Saturday night, we stayed in our cars (though one of the girls did go sit outside in a chair). We hadn’t brought chairs or blankets (well, the others hadn’t brought blankets, but I had one). As it was quite chilly this weekend, we decided to stay in the cars for the most part. However, a great many people did choose to go sit or lay out on the lawn in front of all of the cars. We particularly admired the family who had the foresight to bring not only sleeping bags, but bean bags to lay on and a tarp to put down and keep everything else dry with.

It was a truly magical evening, and I look forward to repeating it again. Who knows, with any luck, I might get a chance to share the experience with someone special before the summer is out.

Qualities in a friend

Over at Zaadz, one of the recent questions posted was in regards to what we look for in friends. I thought I’d share my (partial) answer here as well.

One of the things that I look for in a firiend is an ability to inspire and challenge me. I like friends who have shown great creativity, great strength, great courage, and other similar qualities. Knowing such people and hearing about their experiences, struggles, and triumphs encourage me to continue to develop my on creative, strength, courage, and other such qualities.

Of course, this means that such a friend must also be sincere and a person of substance. It is possible to demonstrate such virtues and inspire them in me while being fake or shallow. This isn’t to say that they can’t be silly and have their moments of superficial joviality. After all, we all have to ?come up for air? every now and then. But there’s a difference between a moment of lightheartedness and living a life stuck in that kind of shallowness.

Being dependable is another desirable trait in my friends. I think it’s important to be independent and not being too demanding of my friends. But there are times when I do need a little help, and it’s important to me that my friends are ready to offer it when they can.

There are many more qualities I could list, but I figure this is a good start.

The beauty of late night strolls

Tonight, I held the first weekly meditation at Genesee Valley Park. After doing it, I realized that we should’ve moved these meditations outside last summer, too. It added a certain pleasantness to the whole experience. It certainly helped that I added the actual sensations of the outdoors to the imagery I was using.

And of course, the fresh air was good for me. I’ve been getting a lot of that with all of these trips to the park. I’ve made it one of my goals to get there at least twice a week, and spend at least an hour and a half each week walking there. I figure that this will not only give me a chance to rejuvenate my body with clean air, but it’ll also get my blood pumping and release a few endorphins in the process.

After meditation, I went to dinner at Red Robin. When I got out of the restaurant, it was almost dark out, with just a few minutes left of dusk. Part of me didn’t want to come home. Part of me wanted to find someplace to go and enjoy more of the great outdoors. If I knew of someplace I could go where I would’ve felt completely safe, I would’ve done exactly that, too.

When I came out of the restaurant and had these moods, I found myself thinking about the many nights that I and various friends would walk down to the Susquehanna River and spend some time walking along the riverbank. We’d spend a great deal of time talking and just enjoying the experience. The memory made me realize just how much I miss that sort of thing.

There’s something about walking with a good friend or two after dark, speaking in semi-soft tones as you stroll along. It’s a setting that allows you to share deep, intimate thoughts and even be a bit more vulnerable. In fact, it doesn’t just allow it, it practically encourages it. And I could see myself doing that here along the canal if only someone like James or Tim was here.

Who knows, perhaps I will eventually find someone here I can share that kind of experience with.

Saturday in Review

It’s been nine days since I’ve written here. As I mentioned in a previous post, that’s the thing about getting more of a life. There’s less and less time for actually sitting down and writing about all the things I’m doing and all of the things going on. Of course, I’m not exactly sure that I’d change that, either. After all, if my life wasn’t so full, it would be downright boring. However, I’m continuing to look for the balance that will work for me.

Yesterday, I spent the majority of the day at Psychic’s Thyme again. We ended up having a full house in the back room, as there were three readers on duty. Add to that the fact that Char was there, and Belinda and I were fulfilling our role as “official hangers on,” and you have quite the gaggle. Of course, the high numbers and dynamic mix of personalities made for a lively day full of energetic conversation.

If any of my readers are considering opening a Pagan, “New Age,” or metaphysical store, allow me to offer you a bit of advice. Whenever possible, make sure that those who are working there are positive people and tend to get into lively conversations. The energy such situations generate are incredible for business. One of the things that I have noticed while hanging out at the shop is that the better the time we have there, the more customers come waltzing in the front door. The number of times the laughs get interrupted because a customer needs help or someone needs their purchase rung up is just phenomenal. Of course, you have to make sure things don’t get too out of hand. There was more than one time yesterday when Char had to remind us keep the noise down a bit.

After the store closed, Michele Belinda and I went to Bugaboo Creek for dinner and then headed back to their house. I provided the entertainment in the form of Night at the Museum and Happy Feet. Both were hillarious and we had a great time. Happy Feet got a bit too agenda-oriented for my tastes towards the end, but it was still a cute movie. And the idea of tap dancing penguins is just great for a laugh.

A pleasantly spontaneous evening

Yesterday evening was rather pleasant. After getting out of work, I ended up running over to Psychic’s Thyme. Michele was on duty and I had hoped to spend a bit of time chatting with her. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out, as she was busy actually doing readings. We were both disappointed, but glad she was getting the work, as it meant a little extra money for her.

Because both she and Lisa were pretty busy with readings, I ended up minding the store with George. This was good, as George actually had to leave at about twenty minutes before closing due to another commitment. So I spent my time keeping an eye on things and even spent a bit of time talking to one of the of the customers who was interested in getting a reading. I answered her questions about what readers worked the next few days and what services each one offered. She seemed like a pretty nice girl, and I get the impression she’ll be in on Saturday.

Michele had something of a family situation brewing, so she had to leave a few minutes early. So I stuck around a bit extra and helped make sure Lisa was okay before taking off myself. Once out of there, I decided to run to Applebee’s for dinner. While there, I read several pages in Witch in the Bedroom, a book I picked up about a month ago. So far, I’ve really enjoyed it. I plan on doing one of the exercises out of it this weekend. It’s the exercise about writing a vision letter, and I have all kinds of ideas for one running through my head. It should be an interesting experience, I think.

After I got done with dinner and reading, I decided to run to the mall for a short walk. I had originally planned on going back to Genesee Valley Park for a walk, but the threat of rain intimidated me. So I spent about a half hour wandering the halls and through various stores. It was enjoyable, and I even got treated to some pretty good eye candy. It wasn’t quite as pleasant as being out along the canal or watching shirtless college students playing softball, but I enjoyed myself well enough.

I think I scared Kevin

Tonight, since I didn’t manage to hook up with anyone to start making plans for weekly meditation, I decided to run over to Border’s and catch the second hour of the Witches Meetup that happens every fourth Tuesday there. I had a chance to see a lot of faces I haven’t seen in quite a few months and even met someone new. Overall, I had a good time.

I do think I scared Kevin when I got leaving. As I said goodbye to her, Wendy told me to be good. I invoked my usual line, asking, “Can’t I just be good at it instead.” Kevin made the mistake of asking me what I was going to be good at. This naturally had to be responded to with wagging eyebrows and a rather devious “Wouldn’t you like to know?” His expression was priceless. I guess he’ll have to learn to think about whether he’s ready for an answer before he asks any open ended questions like that again.

At one point, I had Wendy do Reiki on my neck and back. I’ve been feeling tense again lately. Several times, she commented on how much heat and pain she was getting while she worked on me, and even asked what I’d been doing. I told her I’ve just been really stressed. Fortunately, she understood.

I forgot how much fun the Tuesday night Meetup can be. Due to meditation, it’s rare that I get to go, which is unfortunate. There are a lot of people who go there but don’t necessarily get out to other events. I enjoy talking to them. I may have to see about making sure I’m not doing meditation on that Tuesday night from now on so that I can skip and go to the meetup instead. After all, it’s one more opportunity for socializing, right?

An amusing case of mistaken identity

A while back, Seething Mom was kind enough to post a link to my coming out story on her website. Apparently, this has led at least one other blogger to mistakenly assume that I’m Seething Mom’s son.

I discovered this fact this evening when I checked my site statistics and saw a large influx of visitors from Rising Up Whole. Naturally curious as to who’s linking to me, I paid a visit. And while I’m certainly grateful for the added attention the post over there has brought to my story, I’m sorry that there’s been a bit of a confusion over the relationship between myself and Seething Mom.

So to clarify to anyone who might be confused, Seething Mom and I are just friends. I found her diary originally through a mutual friends. Since then, I’ve had the pleasure of communicating with her via blog posts and comments and even a couple of emails. However, I am not her son. I only wish I was. 😉

Great Saturday

Yesterday, I got up around 9:30am, shaved, and hopped into the shower. Once I took care of a few other odds and ends, I hopped into my car and made the drive down to Elmira to see my friend, Mike. I hadn’t seen him in over a year, as I’ve been rather busy up here in the Rochester area most weekends. It was great to catch up with him, and he certainly needed a friendly face, seeing as his marriage just recently ended. I was both surprised and saddened to hear that. I was the best man at his wedding back in 2005, and they seemed like a great couple. But things can change over time.

Surprisingly, he and I seem to be going through a lot of the same inner processes right now. It turns out that he too is going through this realization that he needs to treat himself more and get out more. He’s actually started going out to a movie every weekend, which is a radical change for him. I think it’ll be good for him however. We got talking about both our growing senses that we needed to get out more, which made it nice that we could relate. We then watched a few episodes of Monty Python’s Flying Circus before I had to get back on the road.

After that, I ran to Dansville to see my friend, Belinda. She was housesitting for her parents this weekend, and she invited me to come see her. Michele had also decided to come spend the afternoon and evening there, so we had a good time. When I arrived, they were watching a movie on Lifetime. It was a pretty interesting movie, and they filled me in on enough details that I could enjoy the ending. After that, we decided to run to the truckstop for dinner and had a great time talking there. The food was pretty good, as usual. We eventually paid and went to Belinda’s parents’ home. When we got there, I popped in the DVD I bought at the Vickie Shaw show last night. Belinda and Michele both absolutey loved it, and the three of us laughed ourselves silly. I found it particularly interesting because the DVD was from her tour back in 2000. It was interesting to see how her act had changed since then. For example, Sargent Pach was just “her girlfriend” back in 2000 and didn’t play quite as big a part in her act back then. Though there were some elements that were quite familiar, such as the whole “sexual peak” segment. Overall, the DVD was a riot, but I think I liked last night’s act better. It just seemed more developed and refined. And I suppose that seven years later, that only makes sense.

Belinda and Michele have already told me that they’d love to go if Ms. Shaw is ever in the area next time. So I promised them that if I got any announcements about future shows, I’ll be sure to get four tickets that time. Who knows? Maybe by then I’ll have reason to get a fifth ticket. Hope springs eternal, after all.

A great night of comedy

This evening, I picked up Becky at her apartment and headed over to the Clarion Riverside Hotel to catch Vickie Shaw doing her comedy act. Before I saw the announcement a month ago that ImageOut was sponsoring her for a one night act in the area, I had never heard of her before. All that I can say is that I now know what I’ve been missing.

Vickie Shaw does an incredible standup routine that mostly focuses on her life, her relationship with Sargent Patch, her relationship with her kids and other family members, and her general outlook on life. She then salts this routine by having a bit of fun with the stereotypes about gay men and lesbians. Her delivery is accentuated by her personality, which is the essence of southern refinement with a coarser edge. (Or maybe it’s the other way around, it’s hard to say.)

Some of my favorite lines from tonight’s act are as follows:

“I told you I love you once. If I change my mind, I’ll let you know!”

“We gay people think you straight people out there are just fine. We just don’t want you teaching our kids.”

“And the baby dykes scream, ‘No! I dont want to wear it!'” (Talking about little girls and Easter dresses.)

The entire show was an hour long stream of stories and jokes which kept us all laughing. After her act was over, she held a question and answer session, inviting the audience to ask her anything. At this point, Ms. Shaw demonstrated that she was not only a comic genius, but an intelligent and deeply thoughtful woman. This particularly became clear when she spoke about the stand-up comic business and the difficulty that lesbians and gay men — the latter more especially — face in trying to make it in the business.

After everything was over, I took Becky around and introduced her to some familiar faces. I also made a point of taking a moment to speak with Ms. Shaw and thank her for such an enjoyable experience. I also bought a copy of her DVD, “Vickie Shaw Live.” I plan on tormenting Belinda with it tomorrow evening.

It was a spectacular night, and I’m glad I went. Becky had a great time too, an being able to share the experience with a friend certainly added to the overall experience. And if I ever get a chance to catch Ms. Shaw’s act again, you better believe I’ll jump all over it.

Being shameless and feeling safe

After deciding to take a night to myself and watching movies on Friday night, I decided to return to the business of exploring my more social nature yesterday. As Michele was working at Psychic’s Thyme, I decided to go there for part of the day and hang out with her. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Belinda was also there. As it turns out Belinda had invited her daughter, Min, to stop in and visit too. I have to admit that I had a bit of fun giving Min a hard time, and received at least as well as I gave.

Min and Belinda decided to go to lunch and invited me to go along. I graciously accepted, and we ended up going to the Chinese Buffet in Jefferson Plaza in Henrietta. We had a pleasant lunch and a great conversation. On the way back to the shop, Min took us to her apartment so that Belinda could see it. Min was kind enough to not make me wait in the car. Given the guy we ran into on the way into the apartment building, I was grateful for that.

We parked on the street behind this kid (well, he was probably in his early twenties) who was getting stuff out of his SUV. We headed for the apartment building, only to discover that the young man had the same destination in mind. As I reached the door first, I held it open for the ladies and even waiting the few extra seconds to hold it for the other guy who was just a few steps behind us. Of course, this meant that he passed me, thereby giving me an excellent opportunity to check him out. Naturally, I made excellent use of such an opportunity. Belinda caught me and waited long enough to accuse me of “shameful behavior” once the young man was out of earshot. I simply pointed out to her that I’d actually have to have shame first, and that my lack of shame made it shameless behavior.

Of course, Belinda was pretty sneaky herself. As the three of us approached the small elevator in the building, the same man was busy loading his stuff into the small car. Min waved me to step into the elevator myself and then told Belinda to get in. Instead, she chose to wait for the elevator to come back. She later told me I “owed her” for letting me have some time with the guy alone. Considering we hardly even spoke, I don’t feel I owe her anything.

After checking out the apartment and chatting for a bit, we headed back to the shop. Min said her goobyes, as she had work that afternoon. Belinda and I spent the rest of the day hanging out and chatting until the shop closed. As a result, I get to know Tobie and her kids better, which was a pleasure.

I realized just how much I like hanging out there. Psychic’s Thyme is one of those places where I feel socially comfortable. It’s a place where I have a sense of how I fit in, and I can usually get a conversation going with someone. But it’s also a place where I feel confident saying hello to the random people who come and go through the day. I realized it’s perfectly natural for me to greet customers as they enter and say goodbye as they leave. This is especially beneficial in those situations where those actually working there are busy with other matters (like ringing a purchase up) and therefore aren’t able to do so themselves. And of course, if a customer is in the mood to make a bit of conversation while shopping, I’ve found I can do that as well.

I hope that as I continue to come to Equal Grounds and attend various COAP events, I find myself develop a similar sense of safety and self-confidence there. In reality, that’s exactly what I need, so that I can feel safe enough opening up and even taking some initiative in building friendships.