I suppose one more meme/test result post will totally ruin my blog. Thanks to Eileen for making me aware of this one!
Changing my schedule is exhausting for some reason
The past week or so, I’ve been focused on work too much to put much thought into blogging. I’m still trying to work out a satisfactory schedule that works with my current work situation.
You see, I’m currently working on two different projects (I’ll call them Project A and Project B) at the moment, focusing on each one for twenty hours of my work week. This is not unusual when you work in the contracting/design services industry. This is especially true when your involvement in Project A is winding down and the customer for Project B wants you get as early a start as possible.
Of course, this particular situation is further complicated by the fact that for the time being, Project B requires me to work on the customer’s site. So that means that when I’m working on Project B, I’m driving to the customer’s office, and when I’m working on Project A, I’m coming to my own company’s office. For four days of the week, that’s no big deal. During those days, I’m only working on one project, and simply show up at the correct location for the day and stay there until it’s time to come home.
However, the fifth day of the week (and which day that actually falls on varies from week to week), I work for hours on one project and four hours on the other. This means that for that day, I go to one site in the morning, drive to the other site halfway through the day, and then return home from the second site when its quitting time. Thank goodness both sites are relatively close to each other! Add to this the fact that I have two weeknights (and some weekends) that I spend doing business for Paths of the Old Ways, and I have a pretty busy schedule.
Oh, did I also mention that while my hours are extremely flexible at my company’s office, work on Project B is requiring me to standardize my workday a bit more? Also, getting up earlier than I like has become a necessity. So I’ve been spending most of my free time trying to get rested up and recovering from the schedule change.
Hopefully, I’ll have more time to seek out inspiration. I had a pretty good blogging pace going at the end of January, and I’d like to recover it in the near future.
I’m going to hell (big surprise)
I don’t normally post quizzes and memes, but since I was tagged by Pisco on this one, I’m making an exception.
The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Low |
| Level 1 – Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Moderate |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | High |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Low |
| Level 6 – The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very Low |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Very High |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Moderate |
| Level 9 – Cocytus (Treacherous) | Low |
Take the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test
The running commentary going through my head for some of the questions was funny.
Protect yourself from predators masquerading as spiritual leaders
John Hainsworth, owner of a witch shop in Lititz Pennsylvania, was arrested for aggravated and indecent assault earlier this month. Apparently, he performed a “spiritual healing” on three different women that turned into something far more personal and totally inappropriate.
Sadly, as much as many Pagans would like to believe we’re above this sort of thing, such abuse is all too possible in our community. Truth be told, the lack of central authorities or systematic methods to identify less than honorable individuals who like to depict themselves as spiritual leaders and gurus makes Paganism a perfect outlet for this sort of thing. This is why it is so important that we as individuals need to be vigilant and careful in order to protect ourselves.
To that end, I would like to offer the following advice to people so that they might further protect themselves from incidents like the one that played out in Lancaster County on at least three separate occasions (and personally, I suspect there were more).
1. Be wary of anyone who’s quick to offer their services.
In this story, two of the women got into this situation not because they went looking for a “healing session,” but because Hainsworth suggested the idea to them. He saw that they had some deep needs and were vulnerable, so he presented himself as the solution to their problems. Unfortunately, this is all too common an approach for predators to take. Their “veil” of helpfulness is appealing and helps create the kind of confusion these women felt when things went wrong. Doubt created by thoughts like “he’s just trying to help” are an excellent tool that a predator can use to keep a victim in his clutches. It’s far safer to go to someone who waits for you to ask for help rather than someone who takes the initiative.
2. Check people out before you seek out or accept their services.
When seeking out spiritual help of any sort, take the time to make sure the person you’re considering going to is on the up-and-up. Whenever possible, ask other trustworthy people about them. Find those who have had experiences with this person and ask them to tell you about those experiences.
3. Interview the individual you are going to about themselves and what they plan on doing.
Eight years ago, when I went to a Reiki practitioner for the first time, we spent half an hour talking before I even got on the table. She was quite open about how long she had been practicing, as well as when and where she received her attunements. She then went on to tell me about Reiki and exactly what would be involved in working on me. This kind of discussion is vital, as it sets expectations and makes boundaries clear. Had that particular practitioner done anything beyond what we had discussed before she started working on me, I would have been gone instantly.
4. Trust your instincts.
One of the things that saddens me about this story is that the third woman felt things had gone wrong, but didn’t say anything because she was afraid she was “being stupid.” I hope that someone who cares about her has reassured her that she wasn’t being stupid. If something in a situation like that makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s time to put an end to it. If you feel a boundary has been crossed, it probably has. And you have not only a right to stand up for yourself in such a situation, but an ethical mandate to do so.
5. Always be wary when disrobing (either partially or fully) is involved.
Some may disagree with me on this point, but I feel quite strongly about it. While I have nothing against nudity, I do not feel it is appropriate in a private situation between people who are practically strangers, especially when spiritual healing is involved. Most spiritual healing practices (in fact, I can’t think of any where this doesn’t apply) do not require it to be effective. And if a particular practice does require it, I think it is important that a stronger bond between healer and client be formed first, preferrably over an extended period of time in which the character of both individuals can be better gauged by the other party.
These are just a few points that I can think of. I would encourage everyone to think about them and the topic in general. Perhaps others around you — or even you yourself — might be able to offer more advice on the matter. I can’t guarantee that this will keep you completely out of harm’s way, but I dare say that it certainly help a great deal.
A comedy of side orders
Today, I started working on a new project. As part of this new project, I will spend a considerable amount of time working at the customer’s site. This means that I spent most of today getting set up onsite and going through some training about their processes.
As a part of project kickoff, the customer took the three of us who are coming on board from our company out to lunch. This is a rather common practice in my line of work. But this was a remarkable unusual lunch. (And let’s just say that singling out any particular lunch that is attended by a bunch of engineers as unusual is saying a lot!)
Our waiter, for reasons that totally escaped us, decided not to write our orders down. Instead, he decided to keep all eight lunch orders in his head. We found it a strange thing to do and even joked that maybe he had a lapel microphone and was recording our orders as we said them. Naturally, this proved to not be the case, though our waiter thought it was a great idea.
Well, after he left our table, he came back and asked Brian which side he had asked for. Someone else jokingly commented that he hoped this meant that the young man had remembered all of the rest of our sides (and main orders, for that matter) correctly. Those hopes were proven unfounded when he came back again, and asked the four of us on my end of the tabe to repeat what sides we wanted. (Oddly, he didn’t write them down this time either.)
Well, when the food came, all four of us on my end of the table indeed got the wrong side. We ended up having to swap sides. By this time, the whole thing had reached the point of farce, and we just got a couple plates, dumped the sides (two orders of steak fries and two orders of sweet potato frieds) into a couple of bowls and just shared them communal-style. Strangely, they got Brian’s sandwich order wrong too, so the poor guy had to wait for them to make the right sandwich.
I’ve never laughed so much at a luncheon (except maybe for the WOTL luncheon). The food was great, but I hope the service doesn’t always get confused so easily. And hopefully, someone learns to use that pad he was carrying around.
Tarot Musings: Strength
Deck: Tarot of Transformation
Card: Strength (XI)
Keyphrase: Moving from the Core
A female figure stands in the foreground of the card, towards the right. She wears a patterned skirt and a veil flows across her arms and chest. A vine or branch travels up through her transparent body, suggesting a link to the earth. A bright line begins in a spiral near her feet and also travels up through and aalong side her body, flowing towards her uplifted left arm. Both of her arms are spread wide, transforming into feathered wings as they extend from her shoulders.
The woman looks over her right shoulder, gazing at the pyramids behind her in the scene. Two smaller, solid pyramids are visible a short distance behind her and to the left. A third, large pyramid takes up muc of teh background. It glows with golden light, and an eye floats just above its tip, radiating light on the rest of the card.
This card reminds us that we are at our strongest when we are deeply rooted. When we draw on the traditions of the past and the inner wisdom that lies in our core, we are revitalized. We can draw on these sources of strength and wisdom to aid us in our current growth.
The winged figue reminds us that being rooted in tradition is not as stifling as we might first think. Instead, understanding such tradition enables us to truly find and understand our wings, teaching us to use our uniqueness and freedom wisely.
Concepts in Magic: Will
In a previous post, I wrote about how an understanding of Creation as an ongoing process is a powerful concept in magic. In this post, I wish to look at another powerful concept, the concept of the will.
Most people who work with magic are familiar with the definition of magic offered by Aleister Crowley:
Magick is the science and art of causing change to occur in conformity with will.
Despite the fact that I am in no sense a Thelemite (which is one of the reasons I don’t add the K to the end of the word “magic”), I find this definition quite useful. Furthermore, it demonstrates that will is central to any magical act. Without will, there is no magic. So this begs the question: What is will?
The American Heritage Dictionary, Fourth Edition (as reported by Dictionary.com) includes the following definitions:
1. a. The mental faculty by which one deliberately chooses or decides upon a course of action: championed freedom of will against a doctrine of predetermination.
b. The act of exercising the will.
c. Diligent purposefulness; determination: an athlete with the will to win.
d. Self-control; self-discipline: lacked the will to overcome the addiction.
It is clear from these definitions that will is that part of the psyche that initiates action. It is that which takes a desire that we have, and focuses our time and energy to accomplish or manifest that desire.
It is important to note that desire is not the same as will. In my experience, this is an increasingly common misconception in the magical community and our society in general. Far to often, we express our desires thinking that doing this alone (or even having those desires in the first place) is sufficient to have them met. I’m reminded of the joke about the devout Christian who goes to church daily, only to ask God to let him win the lottery. After many weeks of this daily routine, God finally decides to respond to this request in a very personal day. As the petitioner makes his request one day, he hears a rather annoyed voice from heaven proclaim, “You could at least buy the ticket!”
Truly involving one’s will in the satisfaction of a desire requires both effort and action. Without this effort, this act of will, the desire never comes more than a vain wish. It is the act of making sure that the “rubber meets the road” that makes magic.
Since Crowley offered his definition of magic(k), some have tried to improve upon his definition. Most notably, people have tried to add such qualifiers to the end of the definition as “by means not understood by ordinary science.” This is often done in an attempt to identify the “mystical” aspect of magic and to distinguish it from “mundane” effort. I am convinced that this is a mistake, as it creates an artificial boundary between “mundane” and “magical” effort.
Truth be told, to someone who walks a magical path long enough, every act of will becomes an act of magic. The boundary between the “mundane” and the “magical” dissolves completely, and an individuals conscience efforts blend together seemlessly. The witch who is looking for a new job is working just as magically when she writes her resume as when she is lighting a candle or praying to her gods for their blessing on her search. All of these acts and the power channeled into them work together to accomplish her goal and manifest the job that she needs.
Understanding all conscientious acts as magical acts also explains why so many magical attempts are shipwrecked by “mundane” activities. Consider for example a less experienced witch who does magic to get a new job, but doesn’t not pay careful attention to the creation or modification of her resume. Or perhaps she submits her resume haphazzardly, not putting much effort into the seach process. Understanding that these choices are magical acts in themselves demonstrates that her will is not fully behind her stated outcome of finding a job. As such, her efforts and energies become unfocused, scattered, and less effective. Perhaps they become totally ineffective.
Profanity masquerading as spirituality
A while back, while I was in one of my desparate “I want a boyfriend” states of minds, I created profiles on a couple of online personal sites. One of the sites I joined was not to my liking, and I pretty much gave up on it. This was mainly because while the site catered to gay an bisexual men and women, it seemed like almost every other gay man on there was just interested in sex. Being a hopeless romantic, I decided to quit wasting my time there and looked elsewhere.
Apparently, I forgot to disable email notifications, however. The other day, I got an email from the site to tell me about a potential match. The guy lives in Buffalo, which is a bit far away. But if that had been my only objection, I would’ve at least considered it. However, the excerpt from his profile that they included was the ultimate deal-breaker. In fact, I found it reprehensible enough that I decided it was worth a bit of a rant on my part. So let’s take the sucker point by point.
Almost always have sex on my mind.
Now, I’m not generally one for faulting someone for having sex on their mind a lot. I will be the first to admit that it can consume a large amount of my thoughts, too. But to make such an admission the first thing you tell someone strikes me as insane. This line alone tells me that to this guy, it’s all about the sex. If I’m looking for romance, love, emotional intimacy, or anything other than a wild ride in the bedroom, I’m just plain out of luck. So on second thought, maybe I should thank him for letting me know right up front that I’d be wasting my time on him.
I am a spiritual person that sees a real connection to the power of an orgasm and a spiritual experience.
Now, given my patroness, I’m all for seeing sex as a sacred thing. But you know, this doesn’t sound like seeing sex as sacred at all. This sounds more like someone mistaking self-gratification and self-serving sex for a spiritual experience. I find myself wondering if this guy even thinks about his partners during the road to his so-called “spiritual experience.” I mean, if his spirituality is just about him getting off, that’s what his hand is for.
I am always ready to cum.
And entirely too eager, if you ask me.
Wanna cum with me.
To his credit, he actually takes a moment to think of his potential partner’s needs here, even if only as an afterthought. But again, I’m interested in more than just getting my rocks off, too. (After all, I have a perfectly working hand as well!) I want someone who’s going to be attentive. I want someone who is going to look to share the entire experience with me, not just the “squirt at the end.” I want tenderness, strength, and many other qualities that this man just hasn’t shown.
All this man has shown is that he’s an egomaniac with enough smarts to throw some pseudospiritual comments into a personal site profile.
Religious Discrimination in Oregon
Earlier in the week, I came across a story about a Wiccan who is suing Starbucks for religious discrimination and wrongful termination. According to the original story, Alicia Hedum was asked to remove her “Wiccan cross.” When she refused, she was held back from being promoted or transferred. Her hours were cut, and she was eventually terminated.
I originally didn’t post about this matter due to the lack of information. The article was quite brief and details were scarce. And to be honest, I was a bit concerned about the fact that the article mentioned that Starbucks management had “scrutinized her ‘minor tardines.'” I will fully admit that I was concerned that this was a case of a rightfully terminated employee crying foul. As such, I decided to see if I could find more details about the situation before offering an opinion.
Today, my choice has paid off both for myself and Ms. Hedum. OregonLive has offered an update to this story, this time including details that has done much to alleviate my doubts about Ms. Hedum’s claims. (And on that count, I offer Ms. Hedum my sincerest apologies for ever doubting her.) In this update, the writer reveals that the lawsuit also covers the matter of an improperly handled workers compensation case:
She alleged that after she hurt her wrist at work in August 2005, the store failed to provide a workers’ compensation claim form. She alleged she was dismissed after she refused to come into work because a store manager would not assign her to light duty work as recommended by her doctor.
Failure to allow an employee to properly document an injury received at work is a serious matter. As is terminating an employee for absences caused due to such an injury. The complaint that Hedum’s lawyers filed with the court alleges that Hedum asked for the paperwork necessary to report her injury on two separate occasions, once to her shift supervisor and once to the store manager. On both occasions, she was informed that either the necessary forms could not be found or that the store was out of said forms.
Now, my question is this: What kind of employer “runs out of” workers compensation forms? I’m certainly no expert on labor laws, certainly not those in Oregon. However, it seems to me that providing an injured employee with such forms in a timely fashion would be a legal requirement. I would also imagine that not having said forms on hand (or at least being able to receive new forms via fax or other method within the hour) must either be a violation or border on it.
Also, the legal document sheds more light on Hedum’s injury-related absences. It appears that she contacted the store manager and explained the need for light duty, even describing her doctor’s restrictions. When the manager informed her that no position was available that would meet those requirements, Hedum did the only thing she could: She informed the manager immediately that she would be unable to return to work until her doctor changed her restrictions. The manager’s choice to hold those absences against Hedum and terminate her employment because of them is against the labor laws of the two states I have lived in (Pennsylvania and New York). I cannot imagine the labor laws in Oregon view the matter any differently.
It will be curious to see how Starbucks chooses to handle this matter. Based on the description that the legal complain gives of Starbucks, it sounds like the corporate office is on the hook for the lawsuit. If that’s the case, I suspect that they will probably look for a way to settle out of court. It not only would be the right thing to do, but it would probably save Starbucks from an even bigger blackeye in terms of publicity.
Of course, to me, the bigger question is this: Will store manager Anna Hickey have a job when the dust settles? And if she remains, how will corporate impress upon her the importance that she never pulls a stunt like this again?
Imagine what parents could do if they knew
I recently discovered Seething Mom’s blog. I’ve enjoyed reading her thoughts, and particularly loved her testimony concerning how she found out her son was gay because of an essay he had written two years earlier. Their stories, both as individuals and as a family, are moving and easy to identify with.
However, this entry is actually inspired by another post Seething Mom wrote, this one about her reaction to hearing Rush Limbaugh point out that a test to determine if an unborn baby was gay might lead parents to have an abortion. Her reaction was quite powerful, heartfelt, and completely understandable. Indeed, the very idea fills me with similar feelings. I’ve even also considered that even many parents who choose to have the child might take this knowledge as an opportunity to get their child into reparative therapy as soon as possible to overcome their natural sexual orientation, a possibility that I find equally disturbing.
But as I thought about testing fetuses for sexual orientation, I considered a more hopeful possibility, too. I think it stems from spending the last ten (nearly eleven now) years thinking about the difficulties I went through when coming to terms with my sexual orientation and realizing how much of those difficulties were unnecessary, if only I or others around me had made different choices. Because of those thoughts, I find myself thinking of what a parent who is both loving and supportive could accomplish if they knew right from the start that their child would be gay. I find myself thinking of how they could prepare for those challenges that might come up, or even find ways to get around them.
I think of my own experiences when I first started learning about sex. In the time and place I grew up, there was no talk of including “alternative lifestyles” in the sex education curriculum. Sex education consisted of explaining the mechanice of vaginal intercourse and the process of sexual reproduction. That was it. So those of us who were gay were left out in the cold, wondering what we were supposed to do. Indeed, we had to first even learn that there was such a thing as being gay before we could even find out what it meant or what to do about it. Instead, we were left wondering what was wrong with us and why were weren’t “normal,” like the rest of our classmates.
This is the reason why some schools are updating their curriculum (or why some individuals and groups are trying to convince schools to do so) to at least mention about the other possibilities. But imagine if a child’s parent already knows their child will need to know about those alternatives? I can envision a conversation that goes something like this:
Johnny: We talked about sex in school today.
Mom: Really? What did they tell you?
Johnny: Well, they talked about how a boy sticks, well you know, into a girl to make a baby.
Mom: I see. And what do you think of that?
Johnny: Well, I don’t know….
Mom: It didn’t seem right to you, did it?
Johnny: Well, I don’t know. I just can’t imagine doing that. I mean, all the other guys seemed to be fascinated by it. But it seemed weird to me, like I wouldn’t want to do it.
Mom: Well, you know, not everyone likes that kind of sex.
Johnny: Really?
Mom: Really. Not all guys like to be with a woman. In fact, I think we need to talk more about this. There’s something I’ve been waiting to talk with you about…
Imagine the months or years of confusion and inner turmoil Johnny’s mother could spare him. Imagine how well equipped she would be to deal with those times when Johnny’s peers teased him for being gay. Rather than wondering why Johnny’s having such a hard time in school because he won’t tell her what’s really going on, her knowledge can prepare her so that already she has a good idea of what might be going on.
The possibilities of how a loving and supportive parent could make a gay child’s life that much easier simply by knowing about their child’s sexual orientation ahead of time are endless. And while I certainly wouldn’t change a thing about my past, even to go back and make them easier (after all, they made me the person I am today), I’m all for making the next kid’s journey through the coming out process easier than mine was.