Tag Archives: Magic

Don’t bring victim blaming into the Craft

(Updated 17 April 2024 to change the shortcode to a tweet to a direct link.)

On Wednesday, Twitter user @kelmardino sent out this tweet:

https://twitter.com/kelmardino/status/1222586735391059970

I have to say that I completely understand her reaction to that image. I had a similarly negative reaction to it. I felt so strongly about what I had read that I decided to tweet a thread about it. I’ve since decided to turn that thread into this post.

I will note that the message in the image is not completely without merit. When it comes to magic, there are some nuggets of helpful advice in there. But they are buried in what is overall a heaping pile of garbage. So in the interest in addressing this state of affairs, I’d like to take each point in the image and study them for nuggets of truth while combating the awfulness they propagate.

“Always stay positive.”

Okay, I’m going to start by taking this point in a different direction than was probably intended. When planning a magical working, you should focus on what is wanted, not what is unwanted or what you want to avoid. Magic is supposed to be about positive action, like “soothe my muscles,” rather than negating action, like “stop the pain in my shoulders.” This phrasing can make a difference, especiailly when you start looking for “mundane” acts (Remember that the distinction between “mundane” and “magic” is actually nonexistence) to help achieve your goal.

Taking the statement the way it was probably intended is highly problematic. It’s okay to have doubts. It’s okay to be frustrated. Too many people who advise you to “stay positive” are basically telling you repress things that are unhealthy to repress.

Now, when you’re doing magic, it’s good to temporarily do your best to set your doubts and fears aside to work on focusing your energies toward your goals. But this should never be a permanent state of being.

“Say it like it’s already done.”

There is value to saying something is done and/or visualizing things as if there they’ve already happened. If nothing else, this helps get us excited and motivates us to keep working, especially in our “mundane” efforts.

“Do not spend time thinking about anything opposite to what you want.”

I see little value in this one outside of the magical working itself. Acknowledging that things don’t always go exactly as we like is important. And considering contingency plans or potential “course corrections” to still achieve our goals is smart. Also, if your goal does not manifest (and it happens to everyone at times), adherents to the sixth point will use this to blame you for your “failure.” We’ll talk more about that when we get there.

“Meditate on what you want.”

It’s good to spend time focusing on what you want and putting that energy into getting it. But it takes more than just meditation to accomplish something, and it’s at this point in the list where I start feeling like we lose sight of that. Accomplishing our goals also takes physical effort. If we want a new job, we have to work on writing our resume and going to interviews as well as lighting a green candle and visualizing the perfect job.

“See it, smell it, feel it, hear it.”

In a magical working, it’s good practice to involve as many senses as possible. Especially in visualization. It’s a way to get our whole body involved and committed to the effort of accomplishing our goals. However, I again note that a good visualization alone is not going to make it happen. And I feel like this is another set up to explain away the “failed spells” as somehow the individual’s fault. “You just didn’t make it real enough in your mind!”

“If it’s real in your brain, it will be real in the physical.”

This statement should be shot directly into the sun without fanfare. There is nothing redeemable about it. It is problematic in so many ways. For starters, it’s false. There are limits to what you can accomplish with magic. Some things are just too big. Some things would involve overcoming many other forces and factors in this world.

Part of learning witchcraft is learning what you really can do and how to best go from there. Sometimes, a problem has to be broken down. Sometimes, you have to figure out how to get to point X before you can move on to point Y. You can’t get to point Y in a single jump.

And again, this whole list sounds like you’re just going to meditate imagine something into existence. That’s not how this works, either. It takes effort. It takes time.

One of the things I appreciated about the Builder’s of the Adytum teaching program (which I never completed) is that they stressed that a person’s goals had to be (1) attainable and (2) often broken down into a series of goals. It’s a teaching that protected against a lot of the sloppy thinking that seems to come from the “manifestation” crow.

It’s also important to remember that some goals just aren’t obtainable for various reasons. So don’t blame yourself if something you want doesn’t come to pass.

And that’s the ultimate problem with that last statement. According to it, if you don’t get what you wanted, it’s because you did something wrong. You didn’t believe enough. You didn’t make it real enough in your mind. That’s victim blaming. Fuck that noise.

Witchy Questions: Do you write your own spells?

This post was inspired by Question #17 from this list.

Back in April, I wrote a post about my issues with finding spells on the Internet. I half feel like cut and pasting that post into this one, as it basically brings out one of the reasons I think writing our own spells (or constructing our own magical workings, to use my preferred language) is practically essential. Figuring out how to go about doing a given magical working myself makes it more meaningful to me. It resonates with my own energies more than following someone else’s instructions. And it puts more of my own effort and energies into the working. After all, always remember that magic begins building when you decide what you want to accomplish, not when you start lighting candles, chanting, or whatever other ritual actions you perform as part of the working.

Ramblings about Freyja from a Devotee

As regular readers of my blog and Twitter feed might know, I consider myself a devotee and follower of Freyja. I mean, I’ve mentioned her a few times.

I started getting close to Freyja and feeling her draw me in during what I would call the third phase of my search for my own place in Paganism. This was after i had read enough books about eclectic Wicca to know it wasn’t quite right for me and then spent time learning Irish mythology and not quite connecting with the Tuatha de Danaan. A friend realized that my eyes lit up whenever I started talking about runes and the myth and lore that surrounded them and rightfully determined that I was meant for a Norse path. So I started looking into books about Norse mythology and even joined an Asatru organization. And I found Freyja.

At this time in my life, i was very much of the opinion that I needed to have a close relationship with both a god and a goddess. At the time, I had planned on building a relationship with Thor (that…didn’t happen). As I looked over the Norse goddesses, I decided Freyja was the best fit for me. For starters, that’s because we probably have the most information about her. The only other goddess that we know the same amount about is Frigga. The rest, like Sif and Skadi, get a mention here or there and that’s it.

Also, I liked Freyja because she was all about the sex. As a gay man who had only been out for…I’d guess four or five years at that point, I was drawn to how unapologetically sexual and passionate she was. I felt like I needed that kind of energy in my life. She didn’t see sex as nothing more than a way to make babies and she celebrated sex — and sensuality in general, which was also important to me — as something to simply enjoy and celebrate.

Of course, it also helped that she was a goddess of witchcraft, and a particular form of witchcraft called seidr. (Pronounced “sayth, where the “th” is soft like in “these.”) Seidr was also deeply attractive to me, as it’s very shamanistic in nature. Exploring the spiritual realms, relying on intuitive abilities, and communicating with spirits or entities is a common practice. So building a relationship with the goddess who taught both the other gods and mankind seidr seemed like a good idea.

As I’ve gotten to know her, I realize that another thing that draws me to her is her unrestrained and often untamed nature. In terms of sexuality, her brother, Frey, is also about sexuality and fertility. But he seems to express it in a more restrained, “civilized” manner. He has always struck me as the type who mostly plays it safe and stays within the bounds of human society, maintaining good order and making sure the land produces food and whatever else the community needs.

His sister, however, seems to prefer to run into the wild places. Or soar overhead in falcon form. If she comes into the “civilized” places, she tends to bring her wildness with her. (And if, like me, you believe that Gullveig and Freyja are the same person, you realize this can sometimes cause problems.)

My personal experience suggests that she’s not a huge fan of many of the trappings of “society.” It’s not that she’s against society or social customs altogether. She just thinks they can get in the way at times. “She obviously likes him. He obviously likes her. Why do they keep tap-dancing around like a couple of nervous soldiers heading into battle? They should just go ahead and hook up already.” That sort of thing. It’s weird having to explain to a goddess that some humans would suffer unpleasant consequences if they were as direct and blunt as she tends to be. (She finds those consequences ridiculously unjust, in case you were wondering.)

Anyway, those are just some random thoughts about Freyja and my personal history with her. How about you? Do you have a relationship with a particular deity? Feel free to share your own thoughts about and experiences with them in the comments!

Pagan Podcast: Divination for Self Empowerment

It’s the end of July and that means it’s time for episode to of my podcast, The Bed and The Blade. In this episode, I talk about divination as a tool for self-empowerment. I include advice on how to start exploring the world of divination and discuss some of the tools available. I tried to find a great balance between information, suggestions, strong opinions, and the acknowledgement that other points of views exist and are legitimate. As always, you can listen here or check it out through any of the distributors listed below. I’ve also included links to the tools I mentioned and other resources you might find useful in this post.

Listen Now

https://oembed.libsyn.com/embed?item_id=10667189

Tools Mentioned in the Podcast

Note: I have received no compensation for mentioning or linking to any of the above tools. Nor do I receive any sort of compensation if you purchase any of them.

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The music used to introduce and conclude this podcast is from “Outdated Time” by Esther Garcia. It was provided by Jamendo and licensed to me for use with this podcast.

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Free Magic Lesson: What do You Want?

In my previous post, I mentioned that a witch’s magic starts the moment she decides to set her will toward accomplishing a given goal. That means that the first step in any magical endeavor is answering the following question:

What do I want?

True story: Over a decade I started taking an online course in spiritual development under a given tradition. The first lesson in that course was defining what I wanted. One single goal that I hoped to accomplish. The lesson was all about how to go about selecting and refining that goal. That’s basically what this post will also be about, because I find it is an essential first step in any magical endeavor.

So what do you want? Do you want money? Do you want to be a successful author? Do you just want to get your kids to go to bed on time for once? (Considering no magic can actually short-circuit another person’s free will, that’s some truly complex and difficult magic, right there. I’m not sure I’d even try it!) Or do you want to find someone who will love you?

For the sake of this post, I’m going to focus on that last one. Besides, love spells seem to always be in high demand, so it’s probably worth exploring anyway. So what do you mean when you say that want someone to love you? What does someone loving you look like? What exactly is it about yourself that you want them to love?(1)

How long do you want them to love you? Forever? A year? A month? A week? Until the end of your first date? Okay, if you answer yes to that last one, you may want to admit you’re probably not looking for love. That’s perfectly okay, by the way. just be honest with yourself, the universe, and everyone else about what you really want. Then look for it without shame or guilt.

Now that we’ve talked about what we’re looking for, let’s bring the goal in a little closer so it’s a bit more manageable. Looking at the big picture was helpful because it helped us define what you’re looking for and what qualities you’re looking for in that “someone” who will love you. But now it’s time to acknowledge that doing magic to bring you someone who’s ready to get married next week (assuming we can even book a reception hall on such short notice) probably isn’t going to work out well. So maybe we should think about just finding someone that you can hang out with or go on a first date with. You know, trying to meet someone who has all (or most of) those qualities you think would make them your perfect partner who happens to be available Friday night. So now let’s think about what you’d like to do on that date or while hanging out for the first time. Do you want to have dinner? Should that person be a bit of a foodie or just be happy to munch on some McDonald’s? Do they need to be vegan? Or do they have to understand and respect food allergies so that they understand you mean it when you say you absolutely cannot eat anything that came within ten feet of any milk product? Do you see yourself going to see a movie? Are there any genres of movies you’d really like your date to be into? Are there any you cannot stand, so that someone who considers those kinds of movies their staple would not be a good fit for you?

Okay, now consider the end of the date. Do you want someone who is all about those romantic notions of the good night kiss? Or do you want someone who will end the first date on a hug and a handshake and still express and/or welcome interest in a second date? Or are you one of those who are hoping the date will end with both your clothes scattered throughout one of your bedrooms?

Knowing exactly what you want and why is important to effective magic, because it offers clarity and focus. It ensures that what you are going after is what you want, leaving nothing to chance or miscommunication. Also, clearly understanding what you want helps you when it comes time to think about the symbolism of any spell or rite you might perform. You can make sure that your symbols — words, phrases, color choices, herbs, and/or oils — all reflect what you are aiming for without ambiguity. And it does the same for your unconscious mind, which should be on the lookout for opportunities to achieve your goal.

Notes:

(1) I would like to take this moment to gently point out that if you have trouble answering this question or it makes you uncomfortable, it may be time to gently put the search for someone else to love you on hold and work on figuring out how and why you can love yourself. I’ve seen it plenty of times. Hell, I’ve been there a few times myself. It’s frustrating to realize that’s where you are, but the work to build self-love can be extremely rewarding. Trust me. Or better yet, don’t trust me. Try it and find out for yourself.

Memories: Taking up the Runes

A bindrune for good fortune.
A bindrune for good fortune.

Back in 1998, my first boyfriend, Zech, stayed a few days.  We were driving somewhere and I mentioned in passing that I was thinking about learning to read tarot.  “Why don’t you learn runes instead,” he suggested.  “They’re a lot easier.”  As a result, I went to the bookstore and bought a set of runes with a well known but not very good (at least from a more traditional point of view) book.  I read through the book in a day and started doing readings for myself and friends.  I was amazed at how well I took to them.  Little did I know the key role they’d play in the journey I was about to undertake.

A couple months later, Zech and I broke up and I lost at least one friend in the aftermath.  As a result, my life was thrown into a sense of chaos.  Around Halloween, I decided to do a massive rune reading for myself, one that involved twelve runes.   That reading led me to search new spiritual paths, which brought me to the Pagan paths.

A couple years later, I started reading other books on runes, as i was still fascinating by them.  I began to read sources that were more traditional, which was difficult.  In time, I devoured books by Thorsson, Diana Paxson, Nigel Pennick, Freya Aswynn, Jan Fries, and a few other authors whose names escape me.  In fact, it was my love of runes and the lore surrounding them that caused a trusted mentor to suggest that I should look into following the Norse gods.  That’s how I ended up a devotee of Freyja.

I don’t use runes as much is my personal practice these days, though I still have a grand love for them.  Also, it led me to teach a rune class — and developing a follow-up mini-class — on runes for my local Pagan store.  I’ve also since learned tarot which I like as well.  I’m not sure I agree with Zech that runes are actually easier.  But they still have a special place in my heart and I probably have a bit of a preference for them.

Gerald Gardner’s Myth of the Goddess

The first edition cover of Witchcraft Today, w...

Image via Wikipedia

While I do not consider myself Wiccan and I’m certainly not an Initiate of Gardnerian Wicca or any of it’s close relatives, my own understanding of witchcraft has been strongly influenced by the thoughts and writings of various such Initiates, including the public writers of Gerald Gardner himself.

Gardner presented a piece of writing in his books which he referred to as “The Myth of the Goddess.”[1]  He indicated that it was one of the — if not THE — central myths of the form of witchcraft he taught.  It also happens to be one of my favorite myths.  As it features the god of the witches as Death himself, I thought it appropriate to post it the day before Samhain.

Now, G. (the Witch Goddess) had never loved, but she would solve all the Mysteries, even the Mystery of Death; and so she journeyed to the Nether Lands.

The Guardians of the Portals challenged her, “Strip off thy garments, lay aside thy jewels; for naught may ye bring with ye into this our land.”

So she laid down her garments and her jewels, and was bound , as are all who enter the Realms of Death the Mighty One.

Such was her beauty that Death himself knelt and kissed her feet, saying, “Blessed be thy feet that have brought the in these ways.  Abide with me, let me but place my cold hand on thy heart.”

She replied, “I love thee not.  Why dost thou cause all things that I love and take delight in to fade and die?”

“Lady,” replied Death, “’tis Age and Fate, against which I am helpless.  Age causes all things to wither; but when men die at the end of time I give them rest and peace, and strength so that they may return.  But thou, thou art lovely.  Return not; abide with me.”

But she answered, “I love thee not.”

Then Death said, “An thou received not my hand on thy heart, thou must receive Death’s scourge.”

“It is Fate; better so,” she said, and she knelt; and Death scourged her, and she cried, “I feel the pangs of love.”

And Death said, “Blessed be,” and gave her the Fivefold Kiss, saying, “Thus only may ye attain to joy and knowledge.”

And he taught her all the Mysteries.  And they loved and were one, and he taught her all the Magics.

For there are three great events in the life of man; Love, Death, and Resurrection in a new body; and Magic controls them all.  For to fulfil love you must return again at the same time and place as the loved one, and you must remember and love them again.  But to be reborn you must die, and be ready for a new body; and to die you must be born; and without love you may not be born.  And these be all the Magics.

Notes:
[1]
At least that’s the name he used for it in Witchcraft Today.  In The Meaning of Witchcraft, he renamed it to “The Magical Legend of the Witches.”

Paganism, Escapism, and the Nature of Reality

Pentacle

Image by giest via Flickr

Pax wrote an excellent post about the tension between Liberation and Escapism on his blog yesterday.  I highly recommend it.  One of the things that he talks about is the tendency for some Pagans to get so focused on the mystical and magical aspects of the Pagan traditions and tend to remain rooted in reality as well.  Pax shares his own past experiences along those lines:

Even though I could see and perceive and experience the many ways in which the practice of my spirituality and faith as a Witch were leading me to greater personal strength and a deeper understanding of myself and a healthier relationship with the world around me… at the same time I was not dealing with the mundane issues at work in my life, like dissatisfaction with work and living in a bad housing situation and so many of the other planes of stability as Thorn has labeled them in her writing and teaching…. so even as I pursued the Liberation of my self and spirit, I was also using that pursuit as an Escape rather than confronting those things that I was seeking escape from!

I offered my own thoughts on the matter with the following comment:

Excellent points, Pax. I’d add that I strongly believe that an essential part of making sure my spirituality is rooted in reality is making sure that my spirituality manifests itself in my everyday reality. I’m reminded of closing of my own coven’s ritual, where we affirm that we have walked with the Divine and now seek to carry the Divine blessings we have received into the world with us.

To me, that’s a very practical thing. Did the ritual increase my sense of Oneness with everyone and the interconnectedness of all of us? Then I’m going to be looking for opportunities to build and strengthen relationship with others. Did the ritual leave me with a sense of greater perspective and inner strength? Then I’m going to look for those areas in my life that are challenging to me and those obstacles with a fresh eye, looking for how I can overcome or change them.

For those interested, the quote I’m referencing from the ritual my coven uses is as follows:

We have walked with the Stars, Sun, and Moon. Together we now bring Love, Power, and Balance to our Earth Home.

The more I think about Pax’s post and my response, the more I’m reminded of one of my own criticisms of certain streams of Pagan thought.  I feel strongly that far too often, Pagans tend to make too much out of the distinction between the “spiritual,” the “magical,” and the so-called “mundane.”  In reality, there is only one reality, which is multi-faceted, tightly interrelated, and tightly interdependent.  And I think it’s that failure to see that the “spiritual,” “magical,” and “mundane” all inhabit the same space that often leads to the escapism issues Pax is talking about.

Of course, I think a related issue is the tendency of some to seek “spiritual experiences” as an end in themselves.  Don’t get me wrong, I love spiritual experiences as much as the next person, and I have my fair share.  I channel a goddess on a semi-regular basis, participate in monthly rituals, and am even attending a seance tonight, where this is a better-than-average chance that I will receive at least one message to give to at least one person.

But the nature of the universe demands that such experience spill over into all of that reality in some way.  Each legitimate spiritual experience by it’s very nature should manifest itself in my life and the lives of others around me in some tangible, practical way.  And if that’s not happening, it behooves me to ask why it’s not happening, and why I’m having or seeking out those experiences if nothing’s ever coming from it.

Control, Influence, and Madeleine L’Engle

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle

Image by Dana Durell via Flickr

While I was blogging yesterday about community, church, and worship my Zemanta plugin suggested a possibly related link with a quote from the author, Madeleine L’Engle.  I found part of that quote very interesting:

Artists have always been drawn to the wild, wide elements they cannot control or understand — the sea, mountains, fire. To be an artist means to approach the light, and that means to let go our control, to allow our whole selves to be placed with absolute faith in that which is greater than we are. The novel we site down to write, and the one we end up writing may be very different, just as the Jesus we grasp and the Jesus who grasps us may also differ.

We live under the illusion that if we can acquire complete control, we can understand God, or we can write the great American novel. But the only way we can brush against the hem of the Lord, or hope to be part of the creative process, is to have the courage, the faith, to abandon control.

Personally, I think L’Engle is onto something profound here, and it’s something that is as important in witchcraft as it is in L’Engle’s faith.  That profound truth is that it’s never about control, because control is an illusion.  Whether you’re talking about art, faith, or magic, there is no such thing as absolute control.

But something that L’Engle points out that there is a difference between control — especially absolute control — and influence and the creative process.  It is possibl to not still be in control and still hold considerable influence.  It is possible to be a less-than-perfect co-creator.  In fact, it’s the only thing we can be.  I’d even go so far as to say that it’s the only thing we should be.

Our job is not to gain mastery over everything.  That’s good, because that would be an impossible task.  (And my gods and my faith do not require me to undertake impossible tasks.)  Instead, ours is to look at the reality around us and identify what we can do and do exactly that.  No more.  No less.

Magic does not change that goal.  It is not a means by which we discover all the secrets of the universe and therefore become its master.  It’s merely another tool we can use to manifest our limited and imperfect influence.  And it’s a nice tool to have.

I also like how L’Engle makes that connection between faith and art.  I think it’s a great one, and I think there’s a similar connection between art and magic.  After all, they are both processes of creation, and I think all such processes are ultimately of the same essense.

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Choice and Power

Yesterday, I blogged about how the belief that we have no choices in situations is detrimental to our ability to live an ethical life.  Today, I want to discuss another reason why this belief is problematic for witches(1).  A belief that we have no choice in a given situation also destroys our personal power in a given situation as well.

We in the Pagan community talk about self-empowerment a lot.  It’s a key reason a lot of us came to a Pagan path, at least in my experience.  However, sometimes we talk about it in rather vague terms, never really making it clear what it means to be self-empowered.  To that end, I would like to suggest my own definition:  Self-empowerment is the act of embracing the realization that no matter what situation we may find ourselves in, we always have the ability to choose how we will respond and act.

Note that self-empowerment doesn’t mean we always get to control the situations we find ourselves in.  Nor does it mean that we can magically change everything in our environment to suit our needs.  Such a concept of self-empowerment would simply be out of step with and contrary to reality.  Hardships are going to befall us.  People are going to do things we don’t like and that hurt us.  Circumstances are going to limit our options and even make us face some unpleasant choices.  Those who want to find a way to turn their lives into a fairy tale need to keep looking.  They will not find it here.(2)

But what the principle of self-empowerment tells us is that no matter what those situations are, our actions are our own to choose.  It tells us that even if our choices are limited to unpleasant ones, there are still choices to make.(3)  Self-empowerment teaches us that no matter what is beyond our control, who we choose to be and how we choose to act is still our personal domain.  And that is an incredible power to wield, in my opinion.

Saying we have no choice in a situation robs us of that power.  It turns us into victims of our circumstances rather than people who are working to not only make the best of our circumstances, but improve it insofar as we can.  And that is a great tragedy.

And again, this is a creeping problem.  The belief that we had no choice tends to spread throughout our lives.  What started as one instance where we thought we had no control or no power becomes two.  Then it becomes five.  Then it becomes a regular occurrence.  Soon, we are never empowered because we fail to see our choices.  And then we wonder why our lives are nothing like we want them to be.(4)

Now some may be ready to ask me, “But what about magic?”  And it’s a good question, so I will answer it.  Back in 2007, I blogged about the role one’s will plays in magic.  At that time, I suggested that our will is the part of our psyche that initiates action.  It’s the part of us that actually goes about making all of these choices, and it’s central to the process of working magic.

So what happens when we say that part of us is incapable of making choices because there are none to be made?  We are effectively subjugating it or turning it off.  A belief that we have no choices actually hinders our will.  And a subjugated or hindered will simply cannot operate effectively.  Which means our ability to do magic effectively disappears as well.

Notes:
(1)  As witches are not the only people who believe in or value self-empowerment, I’m sure many other people will be able to identify with much of what I’m saying here.  I think that’s great.  But since I’m a witch, I’m going to focus on witches.  Though I do hope anyone who isn’t a witch still shares with me what value they might find in my thoughts.

(2)  In reality, I suspect they won’t find it anywhere.  But I respect their right to continue searching.  That’s their choice to make.

(3)  The other advantage to realizing you still have choices, even if they’re all less than ideal, is that it gives you the freedom to think creatively and look for even more choices.  The ones you see immediately may not be the only ones laying about.

(4)  Of course, there are also times when our lives are nothing like we want them to be because our desires are simply not realistic.  Again, this is because self-empowerment is not about living a fairy tale life.  Sometimes, we just have to find a way to live within our limitations.  But my experience is that even within our limitations, there’s a life that’s well worth living.